A few days ago my boy Andrew posted about five things he doesn't understand. I enjoyed that, but for my post, it needs to shine more of a spotlight directly on me, right?
5 Things That Might Be Strange About Me
1. When driving, I prefer the stereo volume control to be set at an even number. Especially 12 or 14.
2. It was months after my grandma died before I could fuck without feeling she was watching.
3. I have never seen a single episode of those procedural crime dramas. None. No CSI. No Cold Case. None.
4. If I'm going to sleep well then all the doors and drawers need to be closed. Bedroom door, bathroom door, closet doors, dresser drawers. (I just know this one is completely normal)
5. If I'm down, sometimes I'll trim up my pubes and shave my nuts and it'll perk me right back up.
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20 comments:
...still laughing at point #5!
A post isn't a post without the Manny & Esteban Show. I heart you so much Michael, jeezalou you make me laugh.
I'm building a shrine to you.
You mean "them" don't you?
And thanks for the hearting. By you I'm smitten, kitten.
You get a shrine, but Manny & Esteban get a whole parade.
::smooches::
Maggie, there is what's called the Mardi Gras* wax here in Sydney - aka the 'back, crack & sack' wax. The very thought has me running screaming for the hills.
* The Sydney gay and lesbian Mardi Gras that is.
Oh, I meant to add:
"I don't know how you guys shave your testicles."
Very, very carefully.
PS. Do I comment too much? Does that make me seem needy?...
Five Things that Might seem Strange about Moi
1. When hanging out the washing, I always make sure that the clothes pegs I use are either all the same colour, or at least colour co-ordinate in sequence. I know, obsessive compulsive and gay.
2. I don't watch any reality TV shows anymore. No Big Brother, no Amazing Race, No Idol. None of it. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Whats more, I don't miss it either.
3. I love to sing. Not unusual in itself, but I also like to make up my own lyrics. A few of my songs may contain the word "Rabbit".
4. When faced with a mix plate of differing foods, I eat everything seperately. Starting from the thing I like least on the plate, and ending with the thing I like most. You mixing food freaks!
5. I have my haircut every week, without fail. Its like gay therapy for me. I think this is perfectly normal, others for some strange reason think not. Did I point out that my hairdressers are Italian?, and Brothers? Bella!
And Mikey, I have been known to do a bit of manscaping myself to cheer myself up. Its usually starts innocently enough with down there, but then I can't seem to help myself and its seems to take on a force of its own and often continues from there. Often the legs end up getting the treatment (so you can see my tattoo's better, of course), sometimes then to the arms, and then some mandscaping on my chest and oops, before you know it, as Brian Kinney says "so many men, so little body hair".
PS. I am a meme whore, don't get me started ...
and I'm sure that moi does not comment to much
so I am definately not needy
Anyhoo .... enough about me, lets get back to talking about you.
Sooooooo, what do you think about me?
I MUST stay up later. This place really gets fun after hours apparently.
Maggie, here's a thought. Come up with a simple, low-risk, pain-free method of scrotalscaping and you'd be able to buy all the computers your house could hold. And wasn't I once promised a photo montage of someone else shaving something else?
Andrew, if I make sure to tell you that too many comments does not make you sound needy because I want to ensure you continue to make many comments because your comments give me value, is that too needy?
And Bodhi, I dig that, like me, you OWN your neuroses. Mazel tov. And you hang your clothes! Love that. Crisp sheets off the line (all white, only white, of course)..is there anything better?
Giving up TAR, though, is COMPLETELY out of the question. Starts Tuesday! BTW, I recently ran across pics of the twins (from Season 3, I think) and they are naked and striking homo-erotic poses. Any interest in those at all? Anyone?
TAR is a fave, watched it since season 1 and love it. If you feel you must post hot twin pics, then I'm prepared to support your decision. I will support you by look at them lots, that's how much of a giver I am.
I hear you, Maggie. Putting hot wax anywhere near that area for me will only end with me recovering in ICU and needing a skin graft.
Show me a dude who had his nutsack waxed and I'll show you TORE UP. That shit couldn't work. Anyone arguing?
I'm not METICULOUS, but I do tidy up a bit. Enough to keep the natives from getting restless. Scratchy when it grows in? Sure, but y'all say that like it's a bad thing.
I use one of those things that won't cut the balloon in that ad, baby. Microtechnology! Nothing but the best for my Cubans.
OK, if nothing else, I'd like PIPEDREAMS to be a learning tool. How do y'all keep your sack FRESH? Anyone NAIR that shit?
:: passes out ::
What, Miss 'Diva Cup' and 'how do you get those things to expand to insertion size' gets all sqeamish all of a sudden? :-)
There is a hair removal range in Australia called 'Nad's'... I kid you not.
We have Nads here! They are the greatest infomercials of all time, I tell you. Thank for both Nads and The Wiggles. America appreciates it.
Well, speaking from a personal, and hopefully also somewhat educational standpoint, let me fill you all in on how moi does ones grooming for Down Under.
Firstly, start with the balls. In this area, I prefer too shave. My suggestion is that you use a very liberal amount of shaving cream. Thats very liberal people. The last thing we want is an shaving altercation with ones manny and estabans and their immediate vicinity. Its also best if the shaving is done whilst one is, shall we say, pointing heavenwards. Time to test out all the lubrication benefits of all that shaving cream. As this "state" naturally contracts said m&e closer to the body and therefore lessons the chance of aforementioned shaving alteractions that would come from looser skin in that area. Once completed, simply rinse, wash, then pat and dry the whole area.
Lastly, when finishing the job with a little manscaping on the the upper pubic hair region, this is best done by trimming to prefered length with either a pair of hair clippers (which is my own personal choice and preference), or some scissors. For those of you terrified of putting any sharp pointed objects anywhere near your manhood, than stick with the former. Its also worth bearing in mind the old porn industry trick that a shorter pubic haircut will always make your manhood look that little more impressive.
Later scratchiness can indeed be a good thing, as it can be a way to constantly refocus one attention on how creepily good it still feels down there. Not to mention explaining said scratching can sometimes lead to interesting offers of assistance and comparisons of handywork. Failing all else, one can always use either a little oil or some talc. Going sans underwear and freeballing can also help over the more scatchy periods, and brings all new kinds of joys.
Now, as to you women ...
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!.
Umm, speak to your Beauticians, m'kay?
Bodhi :-)
Sydney, Australia
You are nothing if not thorough, B. I can't get myself to wield a razor down there. I have had the Gillette M3 Power vibrating razor in the vicinity, but it wasn't the business end.
I want pics of the Riker twins!! We could share! I have a few as well; they could be the same.
Gawd I don't think I'll have the courage to put a razor to my balls no matter how much cream. One slip and I could be sewing my nuts back into the sack.
I usually just leave it short. I do shave the crack though, it's more hygienic.
::Blink:: ::Blink::
I think we just passed the city limits of a town they call Too Much Information!
:-)
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