Relax your neck and breath through your nose

And we're not talking about my yoga practice here, kids. Jay Brannan is just about the cutest fucking thing walking Bob's green earth. Agreed? Now you're gonna pair him up with Margaret Cho for an impromptu song about giving head? I can die now. This is the best thing I've seen in a long time. I know y'all probably saw this on Towleroad already, but I needed to have it inside me, and putting it in my blog will have to do. (via)

txt exchange

ME: So how far did u run?
THUG: U got the rong numba dead ass
ME: kthnx XOXO yours, dead ass

Seems like a great idea, but srsly?

I'm off to Kroger. Have you seen their gift card promotion? If I buy a gift card, they add 10% to the value. You can buy them for $300, $600, or $1200. So, yeah, an instant 10% return on your money is a good deal, but do people really do this? Yes, if you're my parents. They bought a $1200 card and are presently trying to figure out if they can get around the "one/household" limit to buy another one. I didn't inherit that particular gene from them. So much bother! This is why I need a husband with good financial sense. Is that so much to ask? Also, he should cook and smell just right. And be receptive.

My poll

Remember when I used to post weekly pictures of hot guys (Meat Friday!) and hot girls (Pie Wednesday!) and then you all would come around and say "Ewwww" and "Srsly?" and "You're high" and stuff like that? Good times, weren't they? This is something different. I saw this model, Pelle, on Queerty just now and wondered which iteration people would find most attractive. Let's rate Pelle in descending order of fuckitude, shall we? Chime in if you're so disposed. Only if you're just going to say he's gross in all of them and you wouldn't fuck any of him, go lie somewhere else, Deceitful.

Pelle A

Pelle B

Pelle C


You think this is an age progression, or just styled that way?

I feel pretty and witty and gay

There's a Trumpian quality to my hair today. I'm tempted to blame a certain blogger, but it's really been a confluence of events that have left me with this cotton candy-esque situation on my head. I'm normally in for the close-cropped cut every 3 weeks, but Mr. Alan, my hair dude, was busy so I waited four. Then, the aforementioned blogger suggested a BEAUTY DAY, and I was powerless to refuse (although, srsly, I don't think he/she can get any prettier). But another two weeks?! A man's hair should never need to be arranged. Style tip.

ADDED: In other blogger-related news, one of my oldest and dearest and youngest-looking friends suggested that I use Burt's Bees Lip Balm on my nipples when I complained of some post-run chafing. I can't thank him enough. No more chafing (I actually had a scab on Miguel!), and as an added bonus, there's a hint of mint. Let me tell you, it's surprisingly invigorating every time they catch a breeze. Thanks, Young MC!

And I'll leave you with a gratuitous nipple shot of some lad infinitely more blessed of torso than I.

Meals On Wheels

Feeling peckish? Yes, I understand this was not the safest way to navigate a highway construction zone, but there are few things that say SUMMER (or SEXY) to me more than a hot biker. Maybe two hot bikers? On the same bike! Unnnggggghhhhh. The grail. But this is Ohio, so you're as likely to see that as the actual grail.

PS He laughed when he passed me back. Highlight of a dark day. God, I'm so hard up.

That really hurt, Charlie!

I know, but it's the only place we haven't looked!

We desperately need blood! Oh, but not yours.

I'm reposting this picture from Towleroad because this drives me crazy. Crazy enough that I've considered lying about my "activities" and donating. I haven't yet. Instead I cringe when I see the blood drive, as I walk on by holding onto all my pints of O neg.

These posters were plastered around Portland, ME to highlight how ridiculous this policy is.

You make my slacks a little tight, and you may unfasten them if you like

I haven't blogged since before my vacation. What? Oh, yeah, I went to Florida for some R&R and bonding time with my sister/sister's issue. I'm easing back online with something exceedingly easy on the eyes. Luke! I'd be your daddy.