Friday, September 28, 2007

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome

LAST NIGHT: I saw the touring production of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Enjoyable! It's a funny show, with a winning lead in Aussie actor Lawrence Jameson. The music was good, but not "rush out and buy the cast recording" good. Still, if it comes to your town, it's worth checking out.

TONIGHT: The Downtown Dayton LGBT Film Festival commences. I don't know if I'll be there all weekend, but I'm gonna catch the first feature. I hope I get in. With Jesse Archer in attendance, 'mOhio is sure to come out in full force.

TOMORROW: Local (and renowned) drag troupe, The Rubi Girls, are putting on a show on the roof of the Firefly building. Sounds like a winner. I'm more comfortable with drag in an outdoor venue. "Well-ventilated" just seems prudent.

I know. This is a lot more gay than I usually pack into my weekend (ahem), but I have a lot of catching up to do.
What good is sitting alone in your room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret.
Oh, my house! I made my TAKE IT OR SUCK IT offer, and now I wait. Send me good vibes/fabulous parting gifts.

UPDATE: SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you one of them?

I picked up the first season of Dexter on DVD and I am LOVING it. If you've seen it, don't spoil me. I think this ad for the second season premiere is genius. That face!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Each life is loosely assembled, inside the molecules tremble

Things seemed to be falling into place lately. Almost too easily, FINALLY, after a lot of soul searching and, well, procrastination. As of yesterday, my house was sold, and I'd found a cute little apartment to rent for the next six months until I can get things arranged for the real move.

That was yesterday. NOW, my house deal may be all but broken. It's not, but I'll have to decide quickly and it's gonna cost me some money. Money that means something to me, and nothing to this bitch who's buying my house as a part-time place. It's a tough decision and not one I want to make in this state of mind because last night Mom called to tell me that my dad was feeling "dizzy and funny in his chest." It took a lot of convincing, but finally they went to the ER. We'll look into things further today, but everything checked out fine last night and he's OK.

I'm not writing this to ask for sympathy. There's LOTS worse things. My dad is fine. And even with this significant added expense, I'll still be doing OK with my house sale. I'm just really tired and not in the state of mind to decide. I don't care now, but I have to decide today anyway. I figured writing it down might help me examine things.

You know, most times I'm not the guy who feels he needs someone around all the time. I don't NEED you to complete me. Most times I want you around to share stuff. Like life and whatnot. This morning is one of those times you'd have to be there for me, though.

Huh. Is this my first post without some corny double entendre?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Since nobody doesn't love Chad White.....

and Tim Gunn! Plus, you know, great cause. If I moved to NYC, would you be able to get me into things like this?

To being an US for once, instead of a THEM

You know how I love movies. And you know how I love gay dudes. So this weekend I'm going to the Dayton LGBT Film Festival. If I can't find a queer to hang out with there, well, then I think I need to regroup. OUT readers will recognize Jesse Archer, who'll be in town to promote the first feature, A Four Letter Word (link has audio). He stars and is co-screenwriter. Also, he's sparkling.If you're in the 'hood, don't be a stranger!

Do I disappoint you?

Anyone else check out the new MP3 downloads? I think iTunes has its first serious competitor. DRM-free, often cheaper, easy to use, built-in customer base, cross compatibility with different players....what's not to love?

PS Download the program for installing Amazon tunes and you get a free song from The Apples In Stereo.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Fill me up, Buttercup

I have this same underwear. After looking at this shot, I can only think maybe I'm wearing the wrong size or something.

Everything is beautiful in its own way

Some high school kids did a small study to determine the Gay Comfort Level of their classmates. It's HIGH SCHOOL, so I shouldn't be surprised by the response. I was only a little surprised. It does make me wonder about the revulsion some grown-ass adults still feel when it comes to same-sex intimacy. I'm not talking butt sex or anything. Kissing.You can only chalk so much of it up to latent homosexuality. Not EVERYONE is queer. OK, actually I think everyone is, but that's another post. Anyway, where does it come from? Do you feel it? I like to see images of love no matter what the form, but I've never walked in a straight person's shoes. Is it just unfamiliarity? Or what?

As I have loved you, so must you love one another

The Last Supper....NOW with more queers and sex toys! Errrrr, well, more sex toys anyway. I mean, c'mon. If the New World had been discovered back then, these dudes would have totally been kickin' it in Palm Springs:

On the street where you live

In the midst of all this home sale hullabaloo, I've been pipedreaming about buying one of these Eco-Modulars. Sleek, just big enough, easy on the environment, comes complete, and no mortgage. Got a big backyard that you're not really using?

What's new, Pussycat?

I saw Superbad this weekend. I don't usually count myself amongst the target demo of this movie genre (a bit too pussy-centric for my sensibilities), but for whatever reason, if it comes out of Seth Rogen's mouth, I'm laughing over it. In the case of Superbad, he wasn't even the funniest thing going. That would be Michael Cera, who takes FUMBLING AWKWARD to new heights, or as Freakgirl suggests, at least to Newhartian levels. Add some McLovin and you have a comedy trifecta.I laughed and laughed. I'll be purchasing this on DVD to be sure, though I may lose a little more sleep figuring out exactly WHY. But $19.99 is fair if only to see Miroki do his kitty-cat at least one more time.

This is a story about control

I'm working with a woman named Sandy Peters this morning, so you can imagine how difficult it's been for me.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

This is what dreams are made of

You know how I love Brothers and Sisters, right? Tonight they had a season one recap episode, Family Album, to get us ready for the new shows starting next week. Clips from the first season were interspersed with cast interviews. I've raved about Matthew Rhys before. As have others.Still, I wasn't fully prepared for what I got tonight. Sweet, merciful Zeus, his accent! ::melts::

For spring will turn to fall in just no time at all

It's officially FALL and more than just brisk mornings and leaves turning, here in the rural Midwest it means THEATER SEASON! I caught my first local show this weekend, Snapshots, a musical revue of sorts, chock full of Stephen Schwartz showtunes. Loved it. More than just a cobbling together of his songs, it's a play about a long-married couple on the brink of separation.In the course of an argument, a box of photos gets tipped over leading Dan and Susan to reminisce about their thirty-plus years together. They see their love affair anew via the snapshots, which come alive in the form of younger versions of themselves, singing and dancing to the Schwartz tunes.And there are some great ones. Anyone heard of Wicked? Godspell? Children of God? Pippin? Songs come from all of those and more. With a liberal tweaking of the lyrics, these songs tie this love story together seamlessly. I could hardly stay in my seat. What a lovely way to start the fall.

This play was put on by The Human Race Theater Company and they do some amazing stuff here in lil' ol' Dayton. Next up for them is Sunset Limited, a play written by Cormac McCarthy. If you haven't read his The Road yet, why the hell not?

And we've so much love to make

The Biggest Loser has started again. I don't love the show, but certain aspects of it hold some appeal. And not just because I believe he may out-forehead me.Trainer Bob, y'all. Look. At. Him.Hurt me.

You might be in a gay household if......

You finally attend to your daily ablutions (first clue is you use "ablutions")(second is your shower is stocked with face scrub, soap, shaving cream, shampoo and conditioner from Aveda and Lush)(*but I digress) and you're serenaded by the following mix, courtesy of your new iPod, Cosimo de Medici:

- Today The Sun's On Us - Sophie Ellis-Bextor
- Eva's Final Broadcast - Madonna, Antonio Banderas (Evita Soundtrack)

OK, that would have been enough, right? Next up:

- Crimson and Clover - Dolly Parton

Stick me with a fork. Shaped like a cock.

I'm having an intensely lazy Sunday, and though I know I should revel in it, I'm all with the self-loathing. Dolly helps. She always helps. I'm also finding solace in the realization that my new iPod, Cosimo de Medici (given name: Roger), knows me as well as Lucretia used to. FYI: Lucretia has been recycled. She's now doling out investment podcasts and classic country music to my Dad. I should have left at least a few showtunes on her, the poor dear. She'll adjust.

*Hurry back, doll.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

That change will do you good

By now most of you will have heard about the recent change of heart San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders had regarding gay marriage. I read about it. I was happy to hear it. Before ever watching the video, I said to some people that I just wish folks like Mr. Sanders could see the necessity of equality without having it affect them personally. His daughter is queer. But after having watched this video, and being deeply moved by his well-spoken and heartfelt statement, all I want is to congratulate Mr. Sanders (think he'd let me hug him?) and to be appreciative of whatever path takes him or anyone toward reason and equality. Here's the video, well worth a few minutes of your time if you haven't seen it:

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

If she can have a pirate, I think I deserve one, too.

In your eyes, the light, the heat

There's this dude that stops in here every little while (like...right now!). He's a family guy, totally straight with a wife and two young kids. He's late thirties, nice body, kinda sloe-eyed and sleepy looking, and maybe a little dumb. Here's the thing. He's WAY flirty, in a touchy, brush up agin' my jock way. Or maybe not. I can't read him. Also, he looks like he needs a shower, and smells like it, too, but if he were mine I wouldn't allow it because he's got the BEST man-funk. He's not rank, but he's got a hard-working sweaty smell that lingers around the periphery. Drives me to distraction!

Thanks for listening.

UPDATE: We made out a little.

UPDATE 2: No, no, we didn't. I'm way too professional for that! Heh.

Feet don't fail me now

I've been talking about my house sale, so I thought I'd fill you in on the LAST stumbling block-- the whole house inspection the buyer wanted. Not so great. Not terrible, but the inspector did find some water damage that I wasn't aware of. Some exterior door jams were never caulked properly, so they've started to rot on the bottom. They're painted and you can't tell that unless you start poking around. I don't HAVE to make the repairs. I could refuse and then the ball is in the buyer's court. This is a real problem, however, that I didn't know about, and the buyer couldn't have reasonably noticed when he looked at the house. Do I want to spend another $1,000 to make all the necessary repairs? No, sir. Will I? Yeah. At this point I just want it to be over. It's stressing.

You know how running is my stress reliever? The way I (temporarily) stave off the need for medication or therapy? Well, I have an inflamed Achilles tendon right now and even an easy run is painful. Oh, feet, you fail me now? So what's a boy to do but get a fabulous pedicure instead. Works almost as well. So that's what I did yesterday, and guys, save for the tendinitis, my feet are fabulous right now. Shavonda (aka my new queen) was brutal on my callouses, but my feet are now so soft and my nails so sparkling that I wanna titty fuck you with them. Hey, I gotta be honest.

Heavens to Betsy, does it get any worse? C'mon let's see.....

I was just in the convenience store grabbing a coffee and paper before work, and in walks an old man wearing ratty pajama bottoms, corduroy house slippers, and a white (well, we'll call it "off-white" with the understanding that I'm being generous) undershirt that did not fully cover his belly. Now I'm all for comfort, and flying your freak flag and whatnot, but shouldn't there be a line somewhere? Doesn't basic respect and decorum require that you put on a pair of damn pants if you're a grown-ass man out in public? I'm asking. If you tell me I'm wrong, I won't start stepping out in my housedress and curlers, but I'll try to judge those of you who do less harshly.ADDED: Here's one where I won't entertain argument. When you call a business, identify yourself.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Someone stop me before I Koz again!

Remember how I was raving about that Dave Koz concert I caught this summer at the Fraze Pavilion? The saxy guy with the frisky kick? Yeah, him. He's coming back to Ohio, Cowlumbus specifically, with his smooth and jazzy Christmas show. Want. And so I bought TWO tickets this time, because I'm inhabiting a new, mo' optimistic state of mind, which supposes that there'll be some 'mo to go with me by then (is he reading this now?). To sum up, that's mo' 'mo. Sounds like it'll involve glitter, no? And possibly lube. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Dave and Co. bringing the clean, wholesome Christmas cheer. If he also brings me randy pants, well, he can't help it. Look at him!I'm SO stage door johnnying him this time, in a totally non-stalkery way, natch. Do you think he'd sign my ass? Kidding. I'll bring his new holiday CD, in stores now!

You don't know what you got 'til she's [BLANK]

Ah, Brett. You and Charles Nelson Reilly were a MATCH made in my little queer boy heaven, before I even knew what fags and hags were. RIP, doll.

I've always found clowns frightening, but I had no idea

Mr. Topp? Can I call you Carrot? Oh. Mr. Topp, I'd write an open letter to you, but Henry has already said it better than I ever could.

via Fabulon

Games people play

Sometimes when I'm driving I'll get right up on someone's ass like I'm all impatient and pissed off. Usually they'll slow down in an effort to piss me off more, but the jokes on them 'cuz I could give a fuck. Then sometimes when they look in their rearview mirror to see how irate I am, I'll do that Dead-head dance with my hands. You know, like I'm on 'shrooms, and I can see vapors coming off my fingers? I bet they hate that. Try it some time. It's fun.

One of them will probably shoot me in the face someday. And I'll understand, because this is America and that's in the Bill of Rights or something.

As soon as I have time, I'll get therapy, I promise.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Follow the day and reach for the sun!

Despite appearances on this blog, it's not just Men's Fitness and Out around here. I do still crack open a book every little while. Here are the last two:

Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss and the Musical RENT
--After seeing Anthony Rapp reprise his role as Mark Cohen on Broadway, I had to check out his recent memoir. It's been sitting on my shelf since I found it in the remainders bin at Borders. If you're a RENT-head, a gay, a member of PFLAG, or an Andy Dick fan (admittedly a small subset, that last)(they were childhood friends), pick it up. Rapp details his life at the time when RENT was exploding all over the media which coincided with his mother's battle with cancer. He also digs into his family and romantic relationships, and doesn't always paint himself in the best light. Even a few tidbits about being backstage with Taye Diggs and Jesse L. Martin were enough to entice me.

I Am Not Myself These Days
--If you're reading HERE, you should totally read this book. Another fag. Another memoir. And come to think of it, another dude who ended up partnered and living on the Upper East Side in NYC. This one is a not so hale and not so hearty recounting of a year in the life of an alcoholic ad exec by day/drag queen by night and his relationship with his crack-addicted gay whore boyfriend. Penthouse views included. Often poignant and frequently hilarious, sometimes in the same paragraph.

Now I'm reading Enduring Love by Ian McEwan. Ian is my boy. His Atonement and Saturday are two of my favorite books of the last ten years or so.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Suddenly, the wheels are in motion

Remember how I was raving about Xanadu on Broadway? This is the clip of Kerry Butler (Kira) and Cheyenne Jackson (Sonny) performing "Suddenly" on The View this week. Tell me you don't love? Isn't Cheyenne Jackson just the dreamiest thing in like ever? Don't get me wrong, I admire his talent and I have no doubt he possesses a sharp mind, but isn't his body in that tank top and cut-offs a big ol' gay boy's playground? I've watched this over and over.

PS That little thing he does when she pulls the coin out of his ear KILLS me.

ADDED: One of the best and truest lines of the play, as spoken by Calliope, one of the Greek muses: This is like children’s theater for 40-year-old gay people!
Pretty much.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

No day but today

Meet my new iPod. He came in the mail today. My old one was completely full and I can't stand not having my entire music collection portable-ized. Full sync. Unadulterated sync. Sync with abandon. I need that. Hence this little beauty that winged its way from China over the last few days.Say hello to Roger everybody. Lest you think I'm a size queen, he's 80GB. $100 cheaper than his more well-endowed kin, and besides, I know that by the time he's full there'll be something new demanding purchase.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Do they dance and sing there?

Hi Mike... we are celebrating the 2007 Cincinnati Bengals 1st win of the season by offering 2 Tickets to attend 1 Bengals game this season. There is no purchase necessary... all you need to do is come in to the White Allen European Auto Group and register to win 2 Bengals tickets. While you are here you can take a look at our entire Volkswagen, Audi, Porsche and Jaguar inventory... or you can just sign up and go... again no purchase necessary. Please let me know if you can make it in this week?

I think I'll wait until next week to go in, because I'm kinda lucky and, like, what if I actually won? Is this some kind of joke? Well, I guess the font suggests that it is. "Whodey", indeed.

I don't want to be lonely tonight

Do me wrong, do me right,
Tell me lies but hold me tight,
Save your goodbyes for the morning light,
But don"t let me be lonely tonight.
Sing it, JT! I feel you, brother. No, not you Timberlake. Not that there's anything wrong with you, but you're supposed to be resting your chords this week, so hush. I'm gliding down a smooth river of James Taylor this afternoon. If Secret Of Life makes me cry a little, is that a bad sign?

Have I mentioned that my house is all but sold? The inspection was yesterday, the appraisal was today. Unless they found something seriously wrong yesterday, this is all a done deal in two weeks, and then I have three more weeks to be out. Five weeks is a good amount of time, unless you haven't taken the time to figure out where you're going. Anyone have an opening this man can fit?

A long, long time ago, but I can still remember

Is there a statute of limitations on talking about my holiday? I had a hastily assembled vacation in New York over the Labor Day weekend, and you guys, it was the BEST time. Some highlights:

THURSDAY: Flew in on a glorious day and had the cutest little cabbie who drove like a bat out of Hades, taking a route I couldn't recall if I tried, but she got me into the city in near record time. Big tip! I stayed at the Hudson Hotel, placed there by my cheap ass dealings with for the first time.LOVE. Teeny, tiny, chic and modern Philippe Starck designed rooms, and I think the bar is by Ian Schrager. My beautiful baby sister was in town, so we, along with all her boisterous and blonde Southern friends, had tapas somewhere in the East Village that night. Oh, earlier there was lunch and shopping with the ladies, and they had me try on things and then decided what I'd buy.....dress me up in your love, bitches.

FRIDAY: US Open!Y'all, I saw the best tennis match (possibly the best live event of any sporting kind) of my life. And I fell in love with Novak Djokovic that day. Little did we know when we walked into Louis Armstrong stadium, that we'd be seeing a four and a half hour marathon of high quality tennis. Most games in a US Open singles match since the advent of the tie-break system in 1970! Djokovic took down Radek Stepanek, and then marched on to the finals last weekend against Roger Federer. As good as that was, that night I saw RENT and it was electric, yo. I know what you're saying. RENT? Again?But Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal (the original Mark and Roger) are back for a limited run, so what was I supposed to do? For you AI fans, Tamyra is playing Mimi. I got great last minute seats and maybe it was due to those guys, or maybe that the place was packed with die-hard RENT-heads, but the energy and the harmonies rocked my socks. GREAT show.

You'd think that would be enough, but there's more!

SATURDAY: I jumped out of bed early, laced on my kicky new trainers, and hit the streets. I didn't have a set plan, other than I wanted to do my long run on Saturday instead of Sunday as I was flying out the next day.(the Bethesda Fountain for you Angels In America fans)
I ran through Central Park and then headed south on Fifth Avenue. And kept going. And going. Until I hit water. I came back up the West Side Highway and according to my shoes (and the Nike-iPod system), I ran 11 miles. Between the glorious weather and my reveling in all the neighborhoods, it barely registered that I'd gone that far. Seriously, how good is this trip? The best is yet to come. Can you say XANADU on Broadway with Freakgirl and Lisa? Can you say stage seating? Can you say the funniest show I've seen since I can't remember anything more funny?If you are in the NYC vicinity during the run of this show, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Disco balls, hilarious Aussie accents, Art Deco clouds, roller-skates, and the songs. Oh, those songs. PS? Cheyenne Jackson. 'Nuf said. Oh, and glow sticks! After, we had an early dinner at Sardi's. As good as the show and the meal were, I gotta say that Freakgirl and Lisa can tag-team me ANY time, ANYwhere. So charming.

There was more, but geesh, who's still reading at this point anyway? Stop me before I link again. That was New York for Labor Day. Every time I fall more in love with that city.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

For any moment you might find the gold

I had a gold crown put in this weekend. You heard me. Forget the sexy thoughts, I'm your pepaw, young'n. In my defense, generally speaking my teeth are good and sound and true (and bleached), but I did have one crown (of porcelain wrought). Unfortunately, after less than two years, it cracked. My (smoking hot) dentist was surprised, but then he doesn't know how much (renting of clothes and) gnashing of teeth goes on around here. Anyway, he suggested GOLD as a substance that would withstand whatever untoward conditions that might occur in my mouth. So I acquiesced, and now, fast forward two days, I'm quite fond of my new oral bling. I'm even thinking of a mouthful of grillz, along with my everpresent daydreams of a mouthful of Grylls.

Monday, September 03, 2007

With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

Happy birthday, Boo! Another year's gone by already? And it was just this weekend when someone opined that you and I ought to be married by now or something. I couldn't argue. Hope you have a lovely day! You're the tops.

There's only now, there's only here

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.
That's Buffy speaking to Dawn, her sister/not sister, in the finale of Season Five, just before she heaves herself off a hastily cobbled together scaffolding. OK, I didn't love that she kind of adopted a crucifixion pose, but I can't really fuss too much. Isn't that like de rigueur when sacrificing oneself to seal off a rent in the dimensional fabric? Plus, hello, all the plummeting...limbs akimbo.Jesus, Mary and Joseph but I loves Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I've just finished said season in my reunion tour with the Chosen One and her Scoobies. Alas, only two more seasons to go. Anyone else reading the new comic? Another issue next week and the first few have owned my ass.

Did I just hear someone scoff? Step off. This show is one for the ages. Whipsmart and incredibly funny. It pushed boundaries and MANY of today's hit shows on major networks owe it a debt of gratitude.

One of the best things about Buffy was its ability to completely turn things on a dime and send you hurtling in another direction. This was true of the plots, the characters, and even the mood within a scene. Week to week, even minute to minute, it was like being on a rollercoaster with your best buds. Only they're even funnier than your real friends.

Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea. Spike to Giles