Friday, September 30, 2005
Well, that was a tangent I didn't expect. Where was I? I did last minute shopping a few days ago for another friend, recently 40, who I'll bump into this weekend. She's under the mistaken impression that she means as much to me as the present day birthday girl. Rather than disavow her of this delusion, I picked up a Shuffle and loaded it up with Maxity goodness. Now try and tell me you wouldn't want me buying you presents. That's good shit people! Did I just say so myself?
Will you permit me a small rant? I'm not fussy interpersonally with language or grammar. It's not so much because things don't bother me, it's that I know if I fuss, it'll come back to bite me in the ass. There's this one thing, though. Can we all just pause for a moment and phonetically sound out how to pronounce "Alzheimer's"? Yes? It seems that there are a dozen variants people try on for size, and they usually kinda whisper over it because they're fairly certain they aren't getting it right. Is that you? Well, you aren't getting it right if it comes out like "Old Timers". It's 'älts-"hI-m&rz. Let's say it together aloud. Very good. Thanks for humoring me. Comment me about words that drive you crazy, if you are so disposed.
Have a great weekend, y'all!
ADDED: Who is seeing Serenity this weekend? I have my proto-nephew FIRED UP to check it out. The thing is, I have to bust him out of Chinese school on Saturday afternoon to see the matinee. Just because it will be against his mother's wishes, is that considered an abduction in a court of law?
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
like captured sunshine
with your beauty, warmth and light
amber, in pigtails
Is it OK, or should I keep polishing?
Last week you all showed me the error of my ways when I was equivocal about the Italian ad showing two men in affectionate repose. I realized you were right then. Now let's swing around to France. Same story, different romance language. This time Paris metro is refusing to run ads depicting same sex kissing. The ads are for a gay expo for chrissake. Thankfully, the mayor at least is up in arms, but it doesn't sound like that changed anything.
via towleroad (once again)
I am SO getting this CD and I'm sure you'll have something to say about the cliche' of a big (tall, lithe) homo rushing out to get Linda doing Judy (which, as long as you picture the young Garland, is quite nice actually), but I love them both and you can just shut it. Oh, who am I kidding? Denigrate me and ridicule me in the comments. I kinda get off on it.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Added: I think the editing on this show is near genius. Also, Phil's ability to move his eyebrows completely independent of one another is part of what makes the Race amazing.
I was already excited about John Berendt's new book, The City of Falling Angels, but the reviewer in USA Today fairly stumbles over herself praising this shit. I must have it now. Did y'all love Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil like I did? It proves the cliche. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. The characters in that book are indelible. Berendt makes the location irresistible. I had already been to Savannah a few times before reading it, but it made me want to go back. His new book is set in Venice. Italy, yo, not California. Or Florida. I've been to Italy, but never to Venice and given my current raging travel jonz, I'm sure this book will get me sprung.
There are at least four or five other books just out or coming shortly that I'm excited about. I'd write now, but I actually should work a bit. Anything you're anticipating? Anything you wanna share? Anything you think I HAVE to read? Load me up in the comments, G!
Apropos considering the recurring themes of this blog. Writing has actually provided me with a few insights. One in particular is about this multiplex guy. I probably knew, but never fully acknowledged to myself, that I loved him. Even more surprising to me is that I still love him. How, after all these years, can he still have such a hold on me? One thing might be that, for a straight guy, he could suck a mean dick. And he smells freaking AWESOME.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
- Webster Street Market-- I thought about picking up lunch here, but the crowd looked kinda skeezy. Sorry if you were there. I did shop around the little booths. Some people sell antiques and collectible things there, some people sell handmade clothes and jewelry there, and some people sell complete crap there. In a non-crap booth, I found something for my non-bio sister's birthday! This chick makes really cool silver jewelry with different colors of amber cut in interesting shapes. Sound cheesy? It's totally hot. My faux-sister is kinda bohemian and Deadhead-y, but also a mother of three, and she will LOVE the necklace and earrings I picked up. Handmade! Unique! She'll get those, plus a copy of Son of a Witch (coming to bookstores Tuesday), a pretty handmade bookmark, and of course a charming haiku from yours truly. Don't you wish I was buying for you? Oh, shutup. You'd LOVE my presents.
- I was leafing through Dwell and noticed that a house featured was right nearby, so I Googlemapped it and checked it out. The pictures in the magazine are artfully done. They make no bones about the scary neighborhood, but I was still surprised. Rough. Very sweet place, though. I walked around and snapped a few photos, but they didn't really come out well. Plus, they included the crack dealer who later approached me. I bought a rock for fifty off him and thought it best that I not post a picture of him on my blog. You're getting the photo from the magazine.
- I noticed that the traveling rendition of the Viet Nam Veteran's Memorial, The Moving Wall, was in town, so I headed over there. It's like a half-scale rendition. I think the locale in a parking lot near the expressway detracted from the atmosphere. Have any y'all seen the real thing? Confession. I've never been to D.C. I know I should go. Whenever I get free time, it just gets bumped down on my list. It's all the stranger then that I have so often ended up naked on and around the Lincoln Memorial in my dreams.
- Finally I saw the touring production of My Fair Lady. Of course I've seen the film. Audrey Hepburn is an icon, yo. I loved, loved, loved this play. All the main actors are wonderful. The songs are timeless and well-delivered. I've been singing "On The Street Where You Live" the rest of the day.
You know what? I did all this stuff alone and had a good time. Do you find that strange? I'm fine with it. Still, it'd be nice to feel like the song.....
That was a nice day. I'd considered including a bulleted entry about having an extra spring in my step tonight after arriving home. I was gone all day. I don't cotton to dropping it on the one whilst on the road. I'm not so crass as to say more. I was raised right. Like Whitney. Oh, and I didn't buy the crack from that guy or I would have NEVER made it home in time to do the doo. Here's the house, though:
I have often walked down this street before, but the pavement always stayed
beneath my feet before. All at once am I, several stories high, knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Not a crack house, technically
Friday, September 23, 2005
What was the Catholic church's initial reaction to rampant child abuse in its ranks? I believe that would be "decades of lies and obfuscation". Now they are taking a new tack. According to reports, Pope Benedict and the Vatican will be releasing a document banning homosexuals from the clergy.
Celibate or not, if you are gay, they don't want you. What was that crap again about "love the sinner, hate the sin"? I've always hated that shit anyway, but when they don't even bother to adhere to their own ridiculous propaganda, it drives me insane. P.S. What the hell does all this have to do with pedophilia anyway? Check the statistics and then let's talk about straight vs. gay in those ranks. I hope this report is true. It'll just hasten the extinction of this religion. They don't have enough priests now. They will not only recruit fewer priests, but also lose quite a few, I would hope, over this hypocrisy. They'll also be encouraging more lies and deception, another proud chapter in an illustrious history of it.
Homosexuals, even those who are celibate, will be barred from becoming Roman
Catholic priests, a church official
said Wednesday, under stricter rules soon to be released on one of the most
sensitive issues facing the church.
I was raised Catholic.
I can bounce things off you, right? Even if I'mma broken record, you'll bear with me a little, won't you? It's probably because my work was insanely busy this week, and with minimal satisfaction, that I am once again feeling like I have to make a break. ALL WEEK I've been fantasizing about selling my house, selling my car, quitting my job and just taking off. Liquidate muthafucka. Then I'd spin the big globe I have here in my den (one of those on a stand like you had in grade school with the compass on it and the mountain ranges are raised up...love!) and stab it. See where I land. I'd give myself a mulligan if that spot was unappealing, of course. Just kick around Europe and Asia (or maybe Utah...) until the cash runs out. As long as I'm dreaming, I'm also thinking I should do this with an intelligent guy. He's witty, too. Oh, and he has a hot mouth. Like Dane says, "Dream, you fucking dreamers". I'm getting old. It's not practical to do this. It's unwise. It's unsafe. It's ill-advised. It's my only hope? Thanks for listening.
Help! Please try to hide your disdain when I ask this. I have no idea how TiVo really works, but I think I want it. I'm not an idiot, so I kinda get it, but now they are practically forcing me to buy it for the low, low price of $49.99. School me, bitches. Are they all lowball because something new is around the corner that will make me regret taking the bait? Did I just mix 2-3 metaphors? So if I buy it, then I sign up for some monthly service? How much is that? I know all this is on the website that I just linked to a few lines back, but I've been very busy at work and then blogger was giving me trouble and then my cable was out for most of the day and I'm tired and vulnerable right now so just take care of me, OK?
While you're doling out advice, how about helping out a friend of mine who has a lil' pickle (hee!). My friend finally got the nerve to aks out the owner of his hair salon, OK? It's like the first real date date this poor schmuck has had in like a year. I know! Avert your eyes, right? Anyway, he's thinking about taking him to dinner and then the symphony. Is that like pretentious (I don't really know what that word means) or too arty for a first date? Can you help me out? So I can help my friend.
I posted about Dane Cook last week after running across a way hot picture of same. He was WEARING a pair of jeans, as they say in some circles (i.e. in my head). I had never heard of this comedy stud until my favorite Jersey hipster gave me the fo fo. FYI: Don't act like you wanna git wit Dane if freakgirl around, cuz she liable to git carnival freak crazy on yo ass. I think Dane is MAD sexy, but I defer to her dibs, as I prefer my eyeballs as they are. Unclawed out. However, I did pick up his CD Retaliation this weekend and it's been in HOT rotation in my car ever since. I think I've listened to both disks at least thrice. Funny, funny man. He brings the jokes, no question, but he's just funny in the way he talks and the way you know he's having a great time. Girls wanna do him. Guys wanna hang out with him. Guys like me wanna hang out with him, do him, then repeat. He's a man who loves words. I'm a man who loves a man who loves words. I highly recommend checking his shit out. If any of y'all need a preview, hit me up. I'll be all up in your INBOX with the free sample. That's legal amongst friends, right? You said you were my friend. That wasn't just so I'd give you that handy, was it?
PS Seat belts! Radio knobs!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
We know where [the WMDs] are. Donald Rumsfeld 3/30/03
We found the weapons of mass destruction. George W. Bush 5/29/03
There's no question that Saddam Hussein had al Qaeda ties. George W. Bush 9/17/03
We will in fact, be greeted as liberators....I think it will go relatively quickly...[in] weeks rather than months. Dick Cheney 3/16/03
We believe [Saddam] has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons. Dick Cheney 3/16/03
We do know that Saddam is actively pursuing a nuclear weapon. Condoleeza Rice 9/10/02
I'm going to add one more. It wasn't in the ad. I wish it was a lie, though.
And some people thinkin' that the end is close by, 'stead of learnin' to live they are learnin' to die. Bob Dylan
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
For all you TLC fags out there, WYWO is in WeHo tonight. Hmmm, might there be gays about? I mean besides Evan.
Update: Turns out they were improving a playground for grade school children in West Hollywood. It was so cute. So it was just Evan. Oh and also the designer dude.
Make me wanna clap my hands, make me wanna stomp my feet, make me feel real, real good, when you put that thang on me
- Serenity-- This one is at the top of my list and it's almost here! I'm totally letting it in, no matter what chuck says. Joss Whedon is a god. Browncoats unite! And if someone tries to kill you, well, you just try to kill 'em right back. Frothing!
- Brokeback Mountain-- If someone approached me to come up with a dream premise for a movie, I don't think I could have done better than gay cowboys. This shit won some festival awards. Like I care. And if there may be a very Quest For Fire scene with Jake Gyllleennhaaaal taking the Rae Dawn Chong role (i.e. on all 4's), then so be it.
- Walk The Line-- As with so many movies I'm excited about, I was hooked by the trailer for this one. I am SO susceptible to targeted advertising. Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon just looked right. I hope they nail it. Could be crap.
- Capote-- Philip Seymour Hoffman. Two fascinating dudes, no?
- Elizabethtown-- I already love Cameron Crowe and this was another great trailer. I'm not especially fond of Orlando Bloom when he isn't sporting a blonde ponytail and a ne'er depleted quiver of arrows, but I have high hopes anyway. That is despite my reservations, and by my reservations, I mean Kiki Dunst.
- Everything Is Illuminated-- I loved, loved, loved this book and if you didn't, I think it's because you're trying too hard to be reservedly hip and ummm, ironic (?) (I really don't get irony so I just toss it in when I'm at a loss for a word). Love Elijah Wood, too. C'mon, he is SO cute and SO portable.
- Memoirs of a Geisha-- I loved this book, too. It's one of those that transports you to another place and time and envelops you completely. If this shit is half as good as the book, I'll be satisfied.
- The Chronicles of Narnia-- Normally I'm nervous about movie adaptations of my childhood favorites, but then came LOTR. Big footsteps. The effects look sweet.
I'd kinda like to include Rent in this list, but instead of keenly anticipating it, I'm steeling myself for a smelly pile. While I'm steeling myself, though, I'm totally singing Seasons of Love all the damn time. Yeah, I know. Another showtune gay. Can you still love me? So what do y'all think? I'm seeing all these. Wanna come with? I missed my chance at Bedtime Stories so I'm offering an open invitation. I'll buy Cokes and Sno-Caps if you don't make a big fuss when I get handsy.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Your heart is pure and your mind is clear.
"Oh, honey, no one in the world would believe you're straight. You're as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night. You fell out of the gay tree......hitting every gay branch on the way down......and you landed on a gay guy......... and you did him. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space."
So I thought, in the interest of further research into this topic, that we might offer up a characteristic or activity and then as a group determine if it is indeed too gay. OK, that's not really how this shit came to me. Actually, I laughed at myself this morning when I did this really queer thing. I was using up the last of this eye cream and I was happy, no question, because it does indeed seem to be softening fine lines and wrinkles. That's not it, though. I was doubly giddy because the tube was FINALLY done and now I would get to use the new stuff I've been dying to try. Too gay?
ADDED: OK, I should have known that the awesome power of the interweb would provide A TEST to see if one is too gay. Thanks to Bodhi, who mentions it in the comments (via yaniboy). It's open to the gays and straights alike so check it out and see just how big a flamer you are!
P.S. Yours truly? Just 46% gay. Geesh, what can I do to bring that score up?
Finally, there is also a test over there to see which way Fido or Mittens swings.
Monday, September 19, 2005
I was over at towleroad where he's posted about the furor in Rome over this billboard ad. To be honest, I'm on the fence regarding how appropriate it is for general consumption. Does that mean I'm self-loathing? I just think kids seeing it might be confused. It'd be fine if they are at the age where it is appropriate to discuss it, but not so fine if they are too young, no? Am I totally off on this? What is MADDENING, though, is in this article detailing the hubbub, some spokeswhore for a "family organization" had this to say:
'These posters are vulgar and a bad example for our children,' said a spokesman for the parents association MOIGE, which wants the adverts banned. 'It's not a matter of sexual orientation. They would be crass even if they featured a man and a woman.'
Umm, if you are going to be a bigot, I prefer you be in my face about it. Bitch is totally lying. I've been to Rome and there are billboards all over the place showing models doing much more graphic and sexual things than this while wearing less. I don't think anybody pays much mind to the billboards there anyway. You're looking down the whole time trying not to step in the piles of dog poo that are everywhere, right?
Sunday, September 18, 2005
I mentioned television in a recent post (see: all), so it was inevitable the thread would eventually lead to hot reality stars. In this particular instance, we considered my favorite subset of these stars, namely, twins who have been photographed naked in homo-erotic poses. The Riker twins, decidedly straight contestants from TAR Season 3, are seen here catering to their fan base.
This has me thinking about the whole gay for pay phenomenon in queer porn. Here's my question. Is this shit real? Straight guys, is there enough money out there for you to fuck a dude? If so, what's your price, bro? Any wiggle room? I'm guessing most guys are shuddering on one end and shaking on the other right now. Societal conditioning is some strong bidness. The reverse often isn't true. I, like many other homos, have fucked a few women. I wish I could say that I was lying to myself as much as to them at the time. The denial defense, yo. Sadly though, while I was ready to bone and ready for dome with these ladies, it was a stash of gay porn that welcomed me home. Hey, that was pretty, wasn't it? Like poetry. Or a prayer. As for the pay part, the last woman I was ever with had a place in NY, a place in London and her own fucking plane. I was set, man. She was similar in voice and stature to Jared Leto, so things were going OK until she kept insisting, "Open your eyes! Open your eyes!" So close.
Friday, September 16, 2005
via The Search for Love
I agree with Andrew that pretty is nice, but funny is better. If brotha wants to bring both though....
Have you all heard his CD? How is that?
Thursday, September 15, 2005
5 Things That Might Be Strange About Me
1. When driving, I prefer the stereo volume control to be set at an even number. Especially 12 or 14.
2. It was months after my grandma died before I could fuck without feeling she was watching.
3. I have never seen a single episode of those procedural crime dramas. None. No CSI. No Cold Case. None.
4. If I'm going to sleep well then all the doors and drawers need to be closed. Bedroom door, bathroom door, closet doors, dresser drawers. (I just know this one is completely normal)
5. If I'm down, sometimes I'll trim up my pubes and shave my nuts and it'll perk me right back up.
If you are only two weeks into giving up artificial sweeteners, it is not the time to make six-pack resolutions, requiring you to give up actual sweet stuff. The first was a sacrifice I needed to make, but the second? I'm blaming it on Splenda DT's (and also some blame goes to that bitch over at Confetti In The Wind). I'm so tired right now and I guess it's from lack of sugar and caffiene but I'm not really sure because I'm too dizzy to think about it much.
I was going to somehow tie in giving up Diet Coke as a segue into posting a pic of their old spokesbeef, Lucky Vanous, but it was a tenuous connection at best, and the truth is that I just like to look at pretty things. You can almost smell him, can't you? He's not as fizzy as the soda, but he is packaged well and about as smart. See, I told you. Tenuous.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
....who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me, and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
Now I hate gay bashing just as much as the next fag, OK? However, if you're collecting the shuttlecocks (hee!) after a spirited game of badminton with the neighborhood kids and someone yells out, "Let's play Smear the Queer!" is that the time to lecture? No. You politely decline to play a game which, when you get down to it, is a junior hate crime. Of course they'll whine and beg because, let's face it, you're fun and kids dig you. You start to leave, but hesitate. You're done. Signs of weakness like that are the kiss of death in Midwestern backyards. "You're the queer!" they shout. It's not like you can argue. P.S.? I rock this game. Always have. Little bitches gonna try to bash me? This queer will juke and be PAST you, muthafucka.
If you're not familiar with the game, check it out on Wikipedia. I was heartened to read this little snippet, although I'm guessing the Christian-y moms and dads might be chagrined.
Smear the queer is often played with an object such as a ball which is held by the "queer". Once the "queer" is tagged or tackled, he throws the object into the air. The other players then try to grab the object, thus becoming the new "queer". Unlike other forms of tag, those who stay "queer" the longest are considered the best players.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Marriage between a man and a woman is sanctified. It's a blessed sacrament. There are many out there who are willing to judge any other permutations of marriage. They have a right to their opinion. Do they have a right to foist it upon me? First, let's see how their lives hold up to scrutiny, shall we?
Here are a few excerpts from the book description:
- Newt Gingrich: served his wife with divorce papers while she was incapacitated by cancer and receiving treatment in a hospital room. He is currently enjoying the sanctity of his third marriage.
- Representative Bob Barr, author of the Defense of Marriage Act: before the age of fifty, Representative Barr had three marriages under his belt. The old Beltway joke goes, "Exactly which marriage is Bob Barr defending?"
- Rush Limbaugh: between Rush and his current wife, Marta, there are six marriages and four divorces. Rush is currently in the process of divorcing Marta.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not judging them. Just wondering how they feel qualified to judge me? I've said it a hundred times, but I don't even wanna marry some dude. Just don't tell me I can't. I'm not asking for any special privileges either, fucktard, just the same ones enjoyed by all the other citizens of this country.
Monday, September 12, 2005
So when dreams repeat themselves, is there a message? Is it a message from this mythic pool or is it from a part of ourselves? I'll share one of my own that I used to have ALL THE TIME. I would often dream of finding myself naked in public places, usually far from home. I wouldn't know how I got there or why, but of course I'd try to inconspicuously make my way back. No small feat really, because you know, butt naked in broad daylight and well, I am striking. Invariably I'd run into people. Sometimes people I knew, sometimes Dick Gautier. I'd make up crazy shit to try to explain my circumstance. I suck at lying, even in my dream life. Anyway, at some point these dreams stop. Upon reflection now, it's about the time (give or take a year...I didn't write it down) that I decided I no longer cared who knew I was gay. No more naked dreams. Well, I'm still naked in my dreams sometimes, and sometimes in public (usually on or near beloved national monuments, often featuring Lincoln), but I'm never ashamed. So does that mean I learned my lesson? If so, who was teaching?
Also, any ideas on the whole Dick Gautier thing?
Don't EVEN tell me y'all knew about this and just neglected to give me the fo fo. Of course I had a Dirk Benedict poster in my room when I was a kid (I've said it before but, how did my parents not know?), but I haven't seen any of this new version. It looks like Battlestar Galactica is aiming to broaden its demographic here. Scoot your ass over. I'm jumping on the bandwagon.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Downward facing dog,
So this is what it feels like
For the guys who catch.
This verse is rudimentary and crude (aka Mikey-stizz?), so if you're interested in the real deal, check out Joel Derfner's book Gay Haiku. Want some free samples prior to purchase? His website is obligin'.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Here are the lyrics to Neil's song. Love them no matter what I feel about God/god/Bob. You and that choir made me get my ass up again to click, Neil, ya big ugly bastard. Gotta go. Kanye on.
WHEN GOD MADE ME
Was he thinking about my country,
or the colour of my skin?
Was he thinking about my religion,
and the way I worshipped him?
Did he create just me in his image,
or every living thing?
When God made me.
When God made me.
Was he planning only for believers,
or for those who just had faith?
Did he envision all wars
that were fought in his name?
Did he say there was only one way
to be close to him?
When God made me.
When God made me.
Did he give me the gift of love
to say who I could choose?
When God made me.
When God made me.
When God made me.
Did he give me the gift of voice
so some could silence me?
Did he give me the gift of vision
not knowing what I might see?
Did he give me the gift of compassion
to help my fellow man?
When God made me.
When God made me.
When God made me.
Sure he's always been kinda sexy, but who knew he was this hot? As if those nipples aren't enough, he has a Sunday paper tucked under his arm AND a Sonicare in his mouth. Hurt me. And is there any question that he is a WILD fuck?
PS I can't believe it's been so long since I used a showtune lyric for the title. Weeks!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
- Gold Digger- Kanye West with Jamie Foxx. If you don't sing with Jamie doing Ray, I don't get you.
- There It Go (The Whistle)- Juelz Santana. Smiling just thinking about it. Just put your lips together and blow.
- Breathe Me- Sia. I've been loving this since it was the music behind the Six Feet Under promo video. Now it's on the SFU soundtrack. I already miss my big black sex cop. Anyone have a remix for me?
- Boys of Summer-DJ Sammy. Jump in your drop, turn it up and just drive. Don who?
- Instant Pleasure- Rufus Wainwright. Gay, remember? Every lil' while I have to revisit Rufus pining for someone to drop a nut on/in/with.
- Opportunities- Pet Shop Boys. Won't you come back to me Beauty and the Geek?
- Only You- Josh Kelley. I like Jason Mraz, too. And John Mayer. Shutup.
- Tricky, Tricky- Lou Bega. I like the same shit she does. Plus, you know, pretty, pretty.
- Stick 'Em Up- Quarashi. Two words. Icelandic Rap-rock.
- Lovin' You- Poker Pets. Breezy. Click their link. It's not often you see a video of Claymation (tm) animal's cleavage, fore and aft.
- A Man Is In Love- The Waterboys. I know. This is eleven, not ten. Lighten up and spot me one ya big homo. This is just so sweet. And Irish-y. I hadn't listened to it in a while and was reminded when a commenter on Lots of Co. suggested these guys are underappreciated and I agree.
All that said, and speaking of Lots of Co., what I'm loving most (and what's fuel to the hard sixers I've been pounding) is whatever lately drops from the mixer of Max J. Is it October yet?
I don't ask y'all for much, but I would LOVE to hear what you are loving right now, in the comments. C'mon. Isn't sharing what it's all about? Let me in your head a lil', or at least let me wear your ear buds. I think I just supplicated myself to you for chrissake.
Added: If you are shaking your head in disgust at my pathetic display, then I REALLY want you to list some songs. Enlighten me, muthafucka! Oh, and also if you have the Sia remix to share, hit me.
This is one of the most photographed spots in the world, but have you ever seen it from this angle? If you look very closely, you can just make out OA and Bodhi, and at least one isn't wearing pants.
I know a lot of you bitches abandoned Will and Grace years ago, but my love for these Fags und Hags has been unwavering, danke. After all these years, I still laugh out loud every episode and I can say that about precious few other sitcoms. Granted, the constant barrage of guest stars was staggering (surprisingly, Madge sucked, Goldblum shined), but through it all the core group brought the funny. If they weren't funny last season, I probably wouldn't have noticed anyway. Anytime Bobby Cannavale was onscreen I was in the slack-jawed stupor of lust where you're so honed in visually that all your other senses are dulled. You know it? Dude is WEARING those pants, ain't he? Dayum. Is that what you boys mean by "basket"? I'm al dente.
The picture is from an ad in Details for Perry Ellis, I believe.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
In a fit of solidarity (and superficiality, I guess), I've decided to be like wingedman and give myself abs for Christmas. It's not technically re-gifting, though I've given myself a six-pack before. Even if it were, would that be so bad? Did my Dad enjoy that Polo Sport any less? Offering your roommate sloppy seconds with the bar skank that followed you home is just crass, but if the product is pristine and in its original packaging, I say it's kosher.
This is a gift that will take some effort. I'll need your support. You are either for my ripped torso or you are for abject evil. Pick a side. If fucking Bush can throw down an nonsensical gauntlet, why can't I?
As inspiration on this Day 1 of my noble quest for abs, I've written a haiku.
Tuned for low end torque,
Six cylinders pushing rod.
This is not car talk.
Or will you? If Amelie Mauresmo dropped trau, wouldn't you be more surprised if you didn't see at least a rudimentary twig and berries? It's got nothing to do with her lesbianism and everything to do with her Adam's apple and awesome lat spread (::jealous::). Seriously, though, I love her. As I type, she is going mano a mano in an epic Battle of the Big Babes Prone to Yips with Mary Pierce.
Update: Mary Pierce, aided by her totems of constant braid tightening and random squinting, was able to ward off the yips, and defeat her mannish foe in straight sets.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
OK, prepare to humor me a little. Not sure what made this dude spring to mind, but who remembers Jon-Erik Hexum? Was Phineas Bogg the shit or what?
I don't think I had pubes yet, but still I totally had a bone for that brotha. Just a little fo fo for those of you interested in the whole nature/nurture thesis.
Voyagers man! Who knows what heights this hyphenated hottie would have reached if not for that unfortunate incident on the set of Cover Up. Stupid loaded prop guns.
Monday, September 05, 2005
This came courtesy of my favorite lesbian (holla, Jen!), so that does lend it an air of authenticity, no?
You know I'm from America and that I'm also a big homo, right? So should I continue to pretend I have any immunity to sexy corporate advertising or should I just get on with it? I am utterly charmed by these ads Lexus is running during the US Open broadcast. Andy Roddick is behind the wheel of a hot convertible. Anyone care to ride shotgun?
Quiz for ya. If you are planning on running an easy 6 miler on a Sunday morning, is it wise to put on fabulous socks and then cue up Max's September Mix on the MP3 player? No sir, it is not wise. My calves are shredded and my ass is tight. Is it OK if I just lay here and you do all the work for a change?
Sunday, September 04, 2005
In a Dark Time by Theodore Roethke
In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree,
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.
What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall,
That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.
A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!
A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.
Dark,dark my light, and darker my desire.
My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.
You like-y, Joe?
The darkest times let us really see. Enlightenment springs from despair. Beyond any meaning, it just flows and makes you feel it, no? Transcendent.
It resonates with me personally, of course, but you don't wanna get all up in my business now, do ya?
Saturday, September 03, 2005
photo via Confetti In The Wind
Added: Great match today at the Open will be James Blake v. Rafael Nadal (aka Baby Got Back v. Baby Got Biceps). I love Nadal, but Blake is making a big comeback after losing his father last year AND having a fractured vertebra in his neck from a fall in practice. Check it out if you wish/can.
UPDATE: Booty Trumps Biceps! But really, doesn't it always? American James Blake knocked off world #2 Rafael Nadal in a great match.
Friday, September 02, 2005
My side of the fence, not so green
These grasses just sent up some amazing spikes. They were swaying in the wind, shot through with sunshine, and the sky was azure. Curse my rudimentary photography skills! Still, they sure are perty, aren't they, cousin? Oh, and I didn't even plant the sunflowers. They just came to me of their own accord.
Well, I'm off to the salon (Aveda Signature, yo) for the cut. Hell, I'm repeating myself already on this blog and it's only been a month or two, but how much do we love Haircut Day? I wonder what tightness Mr. Alan will be sporting? While I'm there, can I pick you up some pomade? Exfoliating scrub? As if Haircut Day alone is not enough, Max has a new mix up. Get it while I'm hot, folks.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Speaking of smells, in this month's Cargo they asked people about their impressions of Ralph Lauren's new scent, Polo Black. Based on their comments, I'm guessing that these were not random people off the street. If they were, I want to move to that street, because these people are so colorful and descriptive and olfactorily gifted. Here are some of their takes on Ralph's new shizz:
- A summer morning. The notes are very smooth, and none are overpowering. It's just crisp and clear.
- Like the sea on a hot day. It's not too strong, more easygoing.
- It's like a leisurely walk through a tropical forest.
- A hint of rose, then it becomes suave and romantic. It reminds me of growing up in the country.
- Cool, fresh air. I want to wear this while driving in my car listening to INXS on the way to the beach.
- A man right after he takes a hot shower--really clean.
So of course I checked it out. It's nice, don't get me wrong, but don't fucking tease me by saying it's going to smell like a man after a hot shower. If they ever bottle that shit, umm. Well, I don't know what, but is there anything better?
While we're on the topic of simple pleasures, how much do we love those foaming soap dispensers? Genius! It's still soap, sure, but in a more evolved mousse-like iteration. I especially love this one, from Bath and Body Works. Smells like summer.