Friday, March 21, 2008

All these places had their moments

Greetings from enchanting Vancouver! A few thoughts on my travel day as I begin my week-long sabbatical from the daily grind:

1. Never travel without personal video. I loaded up some movies and tv on my iPod and the five hours from Atlanta to Van were over in a snap. I usually read, which is probably better for me, but when I do that for hours on a plane, I invariably do that head-snapping falling asleep thing, which I think is not so good for me. PS? August Rush makes not a lick of sense, and still I cried. What I should have been crying about is that this movie is so manipulative and dumb, that I felt assaulted after. You should totally watch it.

2. The other item of note from the long flight is that the dude across the aisle was all that is good and right and true in a man. Not classically handsome, and you might not even find him attractive (except for his legs...not one of you has the power to resist his legs), but I wanted to use his body and head as a playground. Anyway, beyond small talk there was not much interaction, except all the smiling as we constantly made eye contact. And he was always standing up to stretch, so when I wasn't looking into his eyes, I was looking at the glorious mounds of his ass. Anyway, that was it. He was so totally out of my league, that I contented myself with dreamy admiration from afar. Funny thing is, we'd barely spoken, but had spent so much time nodding and smiling, that when we ran into each other again at customs, he a native, me a foreign visitor, I winked and waved. He laughed. This kind of sums up much of my life with men.

3. Debby, who's practically my sister, and totally one of my best friends and hag, got the iPod Touch AND the MacBook Air. I hate her sometimes. She also co-owns this 5,000 square foot home nestled in the Garibaldi mountains (Cascade range? I'll have to ask) with stunning views of Howe Sound, where I'm sitting as I type this.Despite my hate, trust that she and I will snuggle up in bed and watch Enchanted at some point.

4. I'm wearing my new glasses, and they are kind of big and plastic and dorky (just like me!). Seriously, I'm thinking of breaking them just so I can masking tape the bridge. I love 'em. Just kind of worried they're not gay enough. They're by Zegna, who I have no clue about.

5. So it looks like a shopping and wandering day today. Fourth Street in Vancouver has some places I love. Sophie's Cosmic Cafe, The Comics Shop, lululemon athletica, LUSH. Oh golly...I just got the tinglesack.

More later, and maybe I'll finally deflower that Flip video camera. Ta!

UPDATE: I was SO excited about taking little videos (see: I've mentioned it 4-5 times), but I just finished unpacking and the FLIP was either lost en route, or it's still sitting on the counter in my kitchen. BLARG.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

You're my number one, number one, number one girrrrl

This makes my heart soar a little. Is there a Siriano Effect or is Andy Cohen always so en fuego?

Hey kittens! I fly out tomorrow for 10 days in that strange and exotic land we know as Canada. Vancouver, specifically. Eh. There'll be skiing, trail running, eating (lots of eating), drinking (lots of drinking), and whatever else I can think of. Oh, and shopping! And if I'm lucky, some curling up by the fire and reading, preferably while eating and drinking. And shopping.

One of my goals for the trip is to schlep around that Flip video camera that Santa brought, and record lil' snippets of my daily shenanigans. Or my ass. You choose. Wouldn't that be fun? We'll see.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The circle goes 'round and 'round, and the painted ponies go up and down

Can you believe that is Nathan Arizona, Jr. all growed up? Where does the time go, y'all? I kid. He's actually Nathan from The Real World Seattle, all silver foxy. Nice. Love the suit. He makes my tip sticky.

Get in if you want to live

It's not like I'm a single issue voter or anything, but I am proudly Pro-Robot. Still, I'll admit to being freaked out by Big Dog. He is BIG, and he moves exactly like a real animal (or insect).
Holy smokes.


I know I can't, but honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Sometimes I feel like my life (the days, the hours) is about bouncing from stimulus to stimulus. How was that? Did it make me feel good? What's next?

Is that what it is, this life? If it is, is that OK? Enough? Am I missing something? Read this when you have a minute, and be stimulated. Then tell me if I'm missing something. Promise?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Ooo, eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing bang

When I moved last fall, I found an Easter palm underneath the boxsprings. A quick phone call revealed that, unbeknownst to me, Mom smuggles one of those frondy protective talismans into my house every year. Protects me when I lay me down to rest, apparently. That some voodoo shit, isn't it? "Didn't we put them BETWEEN the mattress and boxsprings when we were young?" I asked. "Yes," she replied, "but I knew you'd throw it away if you found it when you flip the mattress." Do you think she does burnt offerings while I'm at work when she visits? Catholics crazy.

I do remember being very excited as a kid when we'd take home that palm. Mostly because I'd get to parade around, waving it like a wand.

Right now the palm I'm most interested in is yours under my nuts. Esteban wants to feel your life line.

Let's start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start.

Foundation garments can make or break my day. So when my t-shirt is a little heavy on the lycra, my underpants are from that "too skinny" phase last summer, and my socks aren't BLACK black, it's an inauspicious start.

At least they are all clean and in good repair, unlike some of that broke stuff y'all are wearing right now.

Friday, March 14, 2008

From my head to my toes, I need to be dazzling, I want to be Rainbow High!

A couple things:

1. Since I mentioned my 2-a-day Workout Plan, I thought I should give you an update. It lasted a day. I have done SOMETHING every day, though. Just not two things after that first day. I've been eating well, and lost about three pounds over the last few weeks. Sensible, right? My fat pants are loose, my regular pants are a little uncomfortable, and we won't discuss those white jeans I wore last summer.

2. Spa Day! It was just Haircut Day (honestly, that's a highlight for me as it is) a short while ago, but I just feel like I need it (Touch me! Touch me!) so I scheduled a mani-pedi as well. Also, the salon, along with the good folks at Aveda, offered a complimentary scalp exfoliation, and who am I to refuse? By the time I'm done, they'll have enough of my hair and skin to make another, slightly smaller me.

3. Hmmm. I guess that's it!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I've seen clouds from both sides now

My straight boyfriend Chuck sent me these this morning. I laughed and laughed. The best comedy springs from truth. If you haven't been here, you don't know.

I give you a few selections from IF STARS MOVED TO OHIO:

Jennifer Aniston:

Jessica Simpson:
Johnny Depp:
Nicole Kidman:
And my personal favorite, Pamela Anderson:

I totally work with her. Like, right now. If I show her this, do you think she'll get it?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Sometimes Apple is infuriating. Mostly I want to snorgle Apple and pet Apple and make Apple go squee, I'll admit, but then I think about their stupid batteries. I've had a Nano for a few years (OK, I don't rightly know how old it is...but not THAT old)(see left) and now it's unable to maintain a charge for any respectable amount of time. I'd just forget about it and chalk it up to a quirk of those crazy kids in Cupertino (I'd do that, not because I'm magnanimous, but because I also have the Shuffle to work out with) only I need a Nano for the Nike+ system to record my runs and upload them to the large and powerful web. Hence the BLARG. I have to charge it after EVERY run now. Do they replace batteries? Is it worth the hassle? Or should I suck it up and buy a new one? Any thoughts or suggestions will be appreciated.

To bust my body up, to drink out of your cup

I'm starting two-a-days today. I've been lax in my workouts this winter, and next week I'm heading out West to ski. Don't get me wrong, I'll be fine skiing, but I want to feel comfortable in my clothes for the apres stuff. And then there's the hot tubbing. That's PRIVATE hot tubbing with known accomplices only, natch. I don't cotton to some stranger's groin particles floating up to and around my face/mouth. So, yeah, I'm still going to eat enough and healthily but I'm working out twice/day until next Thursday. That means weights and running today. Yoga and running tomorrow. That's as far as I've gotten. (Gotten?)

Carry on.

Oh, and the fair Chaucer's Bitch has tagged me for some meme-y nonsense, for which I'm always game! I'm to grab a book at hand, and give you the first 4-5 sentences from page 123. Those numbers may be off a bit. Is that critical to the enjoyment? Hmmmm. I don't care.

"He didn't know why he had ordered everyone out," Klein remembers. "He believed it was ESP. He was serious. He thought he had ESP, and he felt that because of that ESP, he'd been protected throughout his career."

From blink

ADDED: One more thing! Remember that Flip video camera I got from Santa? It's been languishing in some corner of my electronics graveyard. Everything around here is just so relentlessly the SAME, that I haven't been inspired to use it. So my goal is to upload fascinating snippets from my trip next week. Like a modern version of the vacation slide show, because we all LOVE those, right?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Are you prepared to take a dive into the deep end of my head?

I know it's, like, so 2005, but I'm reading blink and loving it. I've just come from the Harvard site Gladwell links that has IATs (Implicit Association Tests). Fascinating! And disconcerting in some cases. As Gladwell and the Harvard site point out, our associations aren't revealing our true feelings, but do highlight how we are influenced by media and culture and upbringing and how these associations may influence us consciously or subconsciously. Even if you don't want to register, you can test to see how your opinions of the political candidates compare with your associations. If you have ten minutes, do it here and tell me how it goes.

Monday, March 10, 2008

And what you thought you lost was just mislaid

I may be 42, but my Brain Age is 28. Take that, bitches.

I'm actually surprised it's not 12.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Wish you were here

I'm off work this afternoon. The snow? It's here. Huge flakes and already everything is blanketed white. Am I already snugged in for the day? Well.....

1. I'm in an old, comfortable pair of faded out jeans and a powder blue cotton/cashmere v-neck that's so soft you want underwear made from it.

2. There's coffee on, a spicy, exotic blend from I don't remember where. What I do know is it's hot and black and mui sippable.

3. The new Goldfrapp is playing. Washing over me, rather.

4. The Aveda diffuser has me enveloped in the aromas of Madagascar.

5. I'm reading In Defense of Food, which may not sound terribly relaxing or cozy, but I'm enjoying it. And so far, no cognitive dissonance, because I've been eating from nature all week. Free-range chickens and milk from pastured cows who've never known antibiotics or growth hormones. My farts smell like grass.

So, yeah, I'm probably not going ANYWHERE. Grab your book and come sit with me.

Are we really happy here?

Are we so fucking bored around here that we have to whip ourselves into a frenzy over a goddamned snowstorm? Is it 1886? It hasn't even STARTED to snow. Not a flake. Yet the phone in my office is ringing non-stop. Appointments must be had before the WHITE DEATH arrives. I haven't seen for myself, but I'll bet my ass that the store shelves have been cleared of bread and milk. When's the last time you were trapped in your house for days and days because of snow? Yeah, most likely never.

If it's not mind-numbing boredom to blame, then it's the local news. The entire Channel 7 staff was jacking itself over the forecast at 5:00 AM today. I can't fault them too much. You can only report so many house fires and random shootings before you yearn for something new. And it's been over a year since that baby was microwaved.

Is it this way everywhere? When can I move South? Or West? Or anywhere but here?

Thursday, March 06, 2008

It's a close call

It's in the blood: Anne Rice's new work is the second of four planned books chronicling the life of Jesus Christ. Christopher's novel is about gay love among Marines.*

Hmmmm, which to read? Which to read?

*from USA Today

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

A dream is a wish your heart makes

You know how I constantly pipedream about chucking it all and then spending my days stalking Hugh Jackman on Bondi Beach, right? Well, Jesse (of Jesse On The Brink fame) was at said beach, and he saw THIS. He's not helping.

But I look at your pants and I need a kiss

A little Hump Day math for you. Add it up. How many times did you listen to this over and over in the 80s? (And if you were an infant or unborn in the 80s, shut it)