Sunday, April 13, 2008

It's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed

  • You guys, don't take this the wrong way, but I think I got it goin' on. Hear me out. Yesterday, I got cruised twice. Hard. And that never happens. Or at least not that I notice. Admittedly, the incidents occurred in what are possibly the two gayest places in Ohio, namely, intermission at Avenue Q, and the Macy's underwear department. But still. One of the guys was actually almost cute.
  • I just followed a truck with a Confederate flag applique in the rear window and a pair of red bumper nuts below the trailer hitch. Won't someone help me?
  • As mentioned above, I saw the touring production of Avenue Q in Columbus yesterday. I know, I know, SO 2004, but I adored it. Puppets cursing! Puppets copulating! Irresistible tunes performed by a winning cast! Gary Coleman! It all worked for me. And it warmed my heart that the Ohio audience erupted in applause when it was sung that George Bush is not forever, just for now. Yeah, yeah, I bought the soundtrack on the way home.
  • On Friday I saw 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. In quieter moments, I'm still haunted. It's one day in the life of a pair of college students. One long, harrowing day. How bad can it be? If one of them is seeking an illegal abortion in the latter days of Communist rule in Romania, pretty bad. The moments of tension and suspense and horror are magnified by the humanity of it all. These are people you know, placed in an impossible situation. It's riveting, but if you go, don't ask me.  I'm not ready.
  • Did you know there's a Men's Locker group on Flickr? Meanwhile, my bills still aren't paid and the laundry isn't doing itself.
  • I bought a whole set of pristine white towels when I moved and the lesson I learned was it's always good to pamper yourself a little. Just like Oprah and Nate suggest. The white towels have also taught me that sometimes your asshole isn't as clean as you thought. Not sure if Oprah and Nate talk about that.
  • I'm getting ready to go out for a 6 mile run in a few minutes. The thing is, it just snowed! On April 13? I don't really feel like bundling up, but there's an urgency to my running schedule because I have it in my head that I'll run a fall marathon. Shhhh! You're the first to hear that. It's been nearly ten years since the last time I ran 26 miles at once. What am I thinking? Right now I'm SO FAR from the kind of shape I'll need to be in, but that's kind of the point.
  • (Later that same day) When you know you're out of shape (you've just admitted as much on your blog), it's best not to head out due south (unseasonable cold winds come from the north!) for the first half of your run, then underestimate how far you've gone and be forced to run almost 4 miles back directly into a chill wind and accompanying steady rain.  Learn from my mistakes, eggs and bacon.  Hey, it didn't snow!
  • I stripped my bed this morning, but didn't do laundry.  The spare sheets are in the linen closet.  Which is to say, not on the bed.  You see my dilemma.
  • I start my yoga class tomorrow.  I've mostly done yoga alone or in the company of select intimates, so this will be a new experience.  Since I live where I do, it'll likely be me and a passel of suburban hausfraus.  I'm steeling myself for the untoward use of spandex.

11 comments:

freakgirl said...

Mazeltov!

Michael said...

On the almost cute one? ;-)

I'm wearing that outfit every day from now on.

Michael said...

PS As for the other guy, a biker hat in Macy's?

sam said...

Assless chaps every day? If anyone can pull it off - pun intended - it's you.

Goin' on... you haz it. =D

Michael said...

As long as I went to the trouble of having my ass waxed.

freakgirl said...

Re yoga: Remember, spandex is a privilege. Not a right.

I was doing yoga the other day at home and my back started spasming and I was sure that I would be spending the rest of my life down there, locked in the bridge pose.

Luckily, I survived.

Michael said...

Ouch! That sounds like it really hurt, Charlie. Is it still hurting?

I'm mostly going to focus on not making eye contact. I hear they interpret it as a sign of aggression.

freakgirl said...

I'm fine now, no worries.

I can't wait to hear about your yoga class.

jason said...

Goodness, are you saying were you cruised by the Confederate bumper nuts?

Hot.

Michael said...

I'd never seen those before. Are bumper nuts ubiquitous?

jason said...

They are all too ubiquitous around here, I'm afraid.