Maybe I'm the faggot America

I finished Jim McGreevey's book last week. I'm not gonna suggest you rush out and buy it, but for me it was a worthy read. Even when he's confessing, McGreevey's style is tres political double-speak (I take the blame and yet, given the circumstances, can you blame me?). Still I think it's a worthwhile read because he is unflinching in his portrayal of the damage done to oneself and others by leading a closeted life. He also comes clean about all his shady backroom campaign dealings; the Pay-To-Play shenanigans that apparently underly all politics in New Jersey. Although he stops short of taking all the blame for his personal and political compromises, he shines quite an unflattering light on himself and then suggests he's making a new start, standing in his big, gay, American truth.

One thing about his book (and concurrent book tour) that has surprised me is the vehemence with which he's been received by many in the gay community, certainly many of the prominent blogs. While I'm not advocating that he be canonized or anything, I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt as he comes out, comes clean, and tries to make amends. I know, I know, I'm a sucker, but if someone says they are trying to live an authentic life, and in doing so they fess up to all the seedy stuff, then I'm gonna err on the side of trust and acceptance. Maybe because I've lived a good portion of my life tangled up in lies, I'm more understanding and forgiving of the fucked up ways a person acts when they are dealing with some complex psychological coping mechanisms. Of course, I never went as far as he did. I never married. And the hetero sex I had was always kinda fun, though not completely honest. (Yes, you heard me right, Oprah. Contrary to what your hairdresser tells you, a gay man does not need to tape Jake G's picture on his headboard in order to fuck a woman). Anyway, I'm not condoning McGreevey's actions. He hurt a lot of people, most especially two (!) wives. I just kinda get it. What I don't get are the people who so unflinchingly dismiss this book as an insincere and flagrant public relations overhaul, without even reading it. The ultra-conservatives will do a great job of painting that picture. Do the gays need to add their brushstrokes? He was weak. He was cowardly. He admits it. Why so cynical, pets?

If nothing else, it's a good cautionary tale for how unsatisfying and toxic a closeted life is bound to be, even when the door is just one of those flimsy beaded numbers like they sell at Pier One (holla Mr. Foley!).

Oh well, I'm now on to my next selection in what appears to be my Fagola Fall Reading List. That wasn't by conscious design. That I know of. I'm a few pages into Andrew Holleran's Grief (link at right). Ummm, this one isn't gonna be so terribly uplifting either, is it? Next one has got to be lighter, if not straighter. Anyone read the new Augusten Burroughs?