Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Look at the faces, listen to the bells, it's hard to believe we need a place called Hell

Right now, as I type this, there's a Jesus-y teen group sitting in a big circle around my neighbor's pool. They are all listening to a CD of some annoyingly soft-voiced guy preach (think Mr. Rogers only younger and smugger) to them about spreading Christ's grace, all this at high volume over the outdoor speakers that dot the yard. I have a strong urge to crank up my own system and play something like "Do You Take It In the Ass?". Or "It's Raining Men". Does this feeling mean it's really true what they say? The gays really are evil? Maybe even possessed? OMG, they've just started group discussion. I can't be sure, but if they start singing Kumbaya, I suspect I may combust.

This house can't sell quickly enough.

ADDED: OMG, you guys, I just went out back to water my hanging basket, and I didn't notice before, but there's a priest back there, too! And I think he totally cruised me. I'd fuck him. At least once anyway, but if he wants a relationship, he'll have to get a better haircut. Looks like he blows that shit dry.

8 comments:

Jen said...

::does voodoo ritual to speed up sale of house::

(Note: No animals were harmed during the production of this voodoo ritual.)

Michael said...

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: Witchy lesbians rock!

Charlie said...

Seriously, move to Austin. I'm not above begging...among a list of other things I'm not above.

Ur-spo said...

uriah heaps, everyone of 'em

The Other Andrew said...

Girl, you are bad! That's good bad, natch. Hot priest huh? Yeah, I can understand that action. It's always the quiet ones that are dynamite in the sack. Does he look even a bit like Linus Roach?

Oh, and also, run for your life. Get out of there stat, before you are assimilated.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

i bet that priest's hair isn't the only thing he blows dry.

also, jesus krispies like that are why i left the mid west. as the name suggests, it's exactly like the mid east, but opposite.

freakgirl said...

I say you just start streaking.

abnitude said...

thaks for the laugh tonight. i had a thought on your house sale with which the priest could help. if your house isnt selling you bury a bleesed statue of saint joseph and when it sells, you dig it up and bring it to yur new home and give it a place of prominence there. this was what my italian upbringing taught me so maybe the blown priest has an extra blessed statue you could get.