1. Matthew McConaughey is WAY less interesting now that he's clean-cut and impregnating people. Fact.
2. His new movie "Fool's Gold" will suck, as all movies do that have trailers you can't sit through without thinking, "Bored now." Fact.
3. Chris on Project Runway is Dr. Bombay with a sketch pad. Fact.
4. Rami on Project Runway wears the fuck out of a polo and he gives me randy pants. Also, I want his nose in my mouth. Fact.
5. Shart once, and you're gun-shy for months. Fact.