Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Eating snowflakes with plastic forks

And with that delicious lyric, I welcome back an old favorite (of mine) to Pipedreams. Big hint: it's Wednesday, right? Who's hankerin' for some PIE? Next week it's all about the pumpkin and the pecan, but for this week we're serving up some Miss Scarlett Johannson. She's all lips and nose and tits and she usually seems kinda whorey, doesn't she? God, I love her. Esquire has tapped her as their Sexiest Woman Alive. Hell, even I'd tap her, and you know what a huge fag I am. It doesn't hurt that she was in my favorite movie of the summer, Matchpoint. Shutup. You still haven't seen that? Seriously, go buy it right now and if you're not completely satisfied, I'll refund your money. Not really, but it's immaterial,because you will be, you know, completely satisfied. She fucks Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in it. Please. Don't even front.Did you hear that she cheated on Josh Hartnett? Good for her. Maybe THAT will open his eyes. So yeah, even if she didn't bring the trailer trash vibe that I adore, which she does, in spades, she was in Ghost World, y'all.

11 comments:

maddie said...

I like your choice of "pie" this week. It's nice to see a girl with a semi-real body around the bone thin world of actresses. I loved her especially in Lost in Translation and also In Good Company.

I didn't like Matchpoint at ALL...so there goes the theory that we have the exact same taste in movies. Well, that's 1 out of many that we both like. :) Black Dahlia was horrible, but that wasn't Scarlett's fault - it was just long and boring.

Also, I moved to FL 2 weeks ago...and am LOVING it. Did you decide about a dramatic move?

Michael said...

Huh? Wha? Maddie! How did you not like Matchpoint? Hmmmm, I may have to reimagine you. ;-)

You did it! Maybe I'll reimagine you MTM-stizz, twirling around and throwing your toque in the air. Only you're in FL now. No hats necessary. You suck. And you're awesome. Me? Not so awesome. I am making baby steps, though, Doctor. My house is almost ready for sale and I'm looking at some opportunities for work in a few places. Meanwhile, I'm heading out West to ski at Whistler for Christmas, and then East to catch a few shows in NYC in January. Mary Poppins (my sister knows the star!), The Drowsy Chaperone, and another show yet to be determined (maybe Evil Dead: The Musical with La Freakgirl, or, if I can twist her arm, Grey Gardens). All expensive vacation-y diversions from my expressly stated goals, but a boy has to have some fun, right?

The Other Andrew said...

All this talk of things cinematic & framatic, and STILL I wait to hear your opinion on "Shortbus"... why vex me so? Huh?

The Other Andrew said...

"Framatic"? What the fuck is that? Who wrote that?

Maybe I meant f(ucking) (d)ramatic... maybe.

Michael said...

I'm sorry, darling. I've aborted a few stabs at it already. Speaking of stabs, I'm glad I never looked too closely whilst doing that to the girlfriends of my youth. Eek.

RE: Shortbus
I laughed, I cried, I cringed, I learned, I loved. And it made me proud to be an American. I'd love to feel patriotic this very minute, actually.

The Other Andrew said...

Oh, say can you see?...

Q - 60's girl said...

Oh the pie this week is very, very nice... good choice of pics. I like the first one :)

freakgirl said...

darling, you won't have to twist my arm to get me to see "Grey Gardens."

Jen said...

I am so glad we have such different taste in women because if we ever had to compete for one, I know I'd lose, you handsome charming bastard. ;p

Anonymous said...

i may be alone in this, but i honestly can't tell Whorelette Johansen apart from all the other blode, big-titted, 20-somethings in Hollywood. Seriously, they all look the same to me.

Jen said...

You are not alone.