Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I'll be your gay friend

  • Ever entertained the notion that you might fancy fucking a Wiggle? It's all about the accent. And those kicky outfits. Primary colors? Hot!
  • I know the Omega-3 supplement is good for all manner of what threatens to ail you, but the fishy burps that ensue can't be good for anyone involved. Am I right?
  • Today's Oprah was a festival of gay. Herr Berkus, who has long occupied the loftiest tier in my Mad Crush Heirarchy, was on.Oh, was he on. And in. A bubble bath at one point. I knew bitch was crazy successful, but today we learned that, when in New York, he stays at the Soho Grand. Penthouse loft, muthafuckas. That shit goes for 5,000 clams/night, lambs. And I ain't talkin' Canadian. It was an Oprah "BEST" episode, and Nate was singing the hotels praises, so basically he won't be ponying up for that penthouse anymore. Say it with me, y'all. On the house. They also had the tres queer designer Marc Jacobs taped expressing his love for Stan Smith's iconic sneaks. And though he denied being a Product Fag, he's a habitue of the Kiehl's counter for toner and sundries. Finally, and probably the "BEST" part of the episode for me (only because, as is typical of my tribe, I'm so very out with the old and in with the new....sorry, Nate), the sehr snackable Gordon Thompson, creative director at Cole Haan, dished about the new line of comfortable but still fashionable heels he's spearheaded. I just said spearheaded.Look. At. Him. Oh, and they did the best pizzas in the US. Pizza: not gay. And that segment took 20 minutes so all the fabulousness was packed into the last 40. That's a whole lotta homo.
  • FYI: If your internet boyfriend sends you an unretouched nearly naked photo of himself, you should gush.
  • Did you ever jerk off to a picture of Andy Rooney, just to see if you could? I add this because I felt the Wiggles question needed a bookend, and also because I totally did this at lunch. Andy's picture was in GQ. Which was in the bathroom. Sure, I could have used coverboy Clive Owen (like yesterday) but I was in the mood for a challenge. Besides, I work well with what's at hand, guys. Join me for potluck brunch sometime.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

FYI: If your internet boyfriend sends you an unretouched nearly naked photo of himself, you should gush.

I have been checking my email non-stop and still nothing.

The Other Andrew said...

SPASSM?

I never thought of Oprah as a person who would encourage grazing, but Jeezalou that show was freakin' Snack Central. Yummy. Nate in a bubble bath?... almost there... yup, that's got it.

The Other Andrew said...

PS: Timely. Did you know the yellow Wiggle is undergoing tests for a mystery illness at the moment? He's got a stand-in doing his bit for the current US tour. He's been having big swoony fainting spells. No prognosis yet, though some incautious commentators have been badying around the C word. Rumour has it Jeff (Wake up Jeff!) the purple Wiggle is 'mo, but that's only heresay.

Moominmama said...

I don't know what the Wiggles are. I'm frightened.

I don't know who the bald guy is, either. Never heard of him. But *WOULD* Holy Balding Hotness, Batman!!! Those are the second most kissable lips i've ever seen on a man.

Michael said...

Oh, you tease me, CB! The first! Who possesses the first?!

Moominmama said...

The Pirate, naturally. (Perhaps I'll post a photo on my blog.)

Moominmama said...

Posted. and I would just like to add:


I WIN!!!!

Moominmama said...

ooh, can you do a Friday Meat of the bald dude there? That would please me. :-)

Michael said...

As much as I'd like that as well, photos are not readily available. Not many red carpets or paparrazi shots when you're creative director for a shoe company. I'll keep looking, of course.

Jen said...

I will never hear Hot Potato the same way again.

yani said...

Okay, for the record, other than Natealiscious... I have to say...

EWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Not hot!

Not Wiggles, not Baldy, not the Jacobs creature, not Rooney (although I did think initially you meant Mickey Rooney, which was even weirder)...

However, Nate on rye... hold everything... yum! :P

Ur-spo said...

I have never heard of wiggles, but they resemble the TeleTubbies, so go figure....

Michael said...

Yani, that shoe guy was just incredibly sexy. And he giggled like a schoolgirl, giddy, no doubt, because Oprah just FAWNED over the boots. She said, "You should get an award for these!" He replied, "This is enough." Indeed. Oprah's imprimatur is GOLD, right?

Ur-spo, never heard of the Wiggles boys, eh? Aussie troupe that caters to the pre-K set, as anyone who hangs around the target demographic will attest. Last year at Christmas, there was almost a fierce fight between my 4 y.o. niece and nephew until it turned out that Santa had indeed brought TWO, not one, Wiggles guitar.

Jen, you won't be surprised to learn the one that always gets to me is "Fruit salad, yummy, yummy!" Truer words......

xiaoxia said...

"Ever entertained the notion that you might fancy fucking a Wiggle? It's all about the accent. And those kicky outfits. Primary colors? Hot!"

Ewwwwwww! That is GROSS! The Wiggles are tres F-U-G. Nate Berkus, YES. Wiggles, NO.