Saturday, January 27, 2007

We are, we are all innocent

First I'll give you my shorthand Antoine and Dwayne-style review of Notes on a Scandal: Hated it!

I know this is supposed to be a thriller for the art house crowd. How do I know that? It's playing at the arty theaters, the trailer makes it out to be highbrow suspense, and the cast is serious. Also, most of the reviews tell you that's what it is. I'm convinced that's also how it was sold to Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett. How else to explain why they signed up? Well, if you start with a pile of poo, it doesn't matter how you dress it up (meringue it, make a poo reduction, adorn it with a poo foam), when you lift the silver lid with a flourish, it stinks just the same.

It's not like I have terribly high standards, either. Honestly, I watch Gay, Straight or Taken, remember? If they had just recycled all the banal thriller ingredients, I wouldn't be so irritated. Instead, they made me feel sorry for the pedophile, and it's still pissing me off a day later. Poor, poor Sheba. Guys, she's saddled with some old boring dude for a husband and she's been stuck at home raising her disabled child for ten years, doesn't she deserve a walk on the wild side? Why shouldn't she fuck a barely post-pubescent? Oh, and he's ALMOST 16, so he's hardly an innocent. All that is what she tells herself. Besides, we ALL have sexual feelings for kids sometimes, but we just don't act on them. That's what her husband says, anyway. PS? The kid lies and lies about having a horrible home life. He deceives her! What else was she supposed to do but blow him? She has every excuse. Maybe that's the point of the film. We all see ourselves as innocent. We may make poor choices, but we're the victim. Yuck. But that's not the worst of it.

Finally, finally, the ultimate villain in this picture is not the pedophile at all. No, the BIG BAD of this picture is the obsessive, isolated, sociopathic queer.You know, cuz we haven't seen a thriller done THAT way before.

6 comments:

maddie said...

As much as I love Cate, that review was enough to take it off my netflix list.

Michael said...

I was all prepared to love it, Maddie, because I adore Cate and Judi both. And it's gotten good reviews, hasn't it, mostly based on their ACADEMY NOMINATED performances? I just don't get it. Besides hating the movie, I thought their performances were WAY over the top. Is there a whole movie genre that I'm missing or something?

Michael said...

Maybe it's satire! OMG, they are totally making FUN of thrillers. ::rolls eyes::

The Other Andrew said...

BOO! Sounds stinky. I normally love The Dench, but I think I'll have to give this one a pass. You have such influence over me!

Michael said...

I mean, they were both nominated for Oscars for chrissakes, so what do I know? Except that I hated it.

Now Volver, well, that movie made me feel so warm and comfortable and happy that I want to watch it over and over and over, possibly while resting my head on Penelope Cruz' bosom.

The Other Andrew said...

I KNOW! Volver was delicious. I spent about an hour raving about its wonders (and Pedro's in general) to an artist over lunch on Friday. See how utterly FABULOUS my life is!