Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

Here's a heads-up for ya-- I do not want in on your pyramid scheme. I don't care how revolutionary your dietary supplement is, or how much money it can make for me. If it's so great, I imagine you'll be sitting back and watching the dollars roll in. So you do it. Also, I don't care to take a sample, because even if you promise me there's no obligation and you won't hassle me later, you will and I'll probably even have to get blunt with you. Save us both the trouble.

One more thing. Please don't bring your Blair Witch-lookin' holiday craft project into my office and expect me to feel compelled to buy it. I don't, and I won't.

Happy holidays, y'all!


freakgirl said...

ho ho ho, bitch.

Michael said...

I know. Poor attitude, mister! But I do not want to sell people's shit. Or buy people's shit.

freakgirl said...

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

Michael said...


::prostrates himself before his pop culture goddess::

At least one mission in my life has been accomplished. So that's a reason to be thankful, right? Besides that, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good, oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood. I don't have so much control over that one. I'm gonna stop now, because the next one involves Samantha Foxx lyrics.

Ur-spo said...

and happy thanksgiving to you as well!

joey said...

I am so going to use the Blair Witch comment at work. Wonder if it would work for the cookie baking contest?