Wednesday, November 28, 2007

You don't know me at all

Why do people feel the need to inflict their (lack of) taste on me? Two things:

1. If you've been around here, you know I recently sold my house. I've moved to an apartment while I decide where I'm going. It's a semi-attached duplex. New neighbors moved into the other half last week. I met the dude for the first time this afternoon when he knocked on the door, introduced himself, and promptly asked if he could hang icicle lights across the front of my house, as he was doing his side. What the? Yes, of course, because fucking BLUE icicle lights require continuity. For what? TASTE'S sake? We'd just met and I didn't want to seem difficult and so I said it would be fine. Oh, shutup. Yeah, I know, I'm a pushover. Now, for the next month, I get to be haunted by the sight of that dangling blue mess every time I drive in from work. Ugh! I know I made my icicle-y bed and now I have to lie in it, but if he trots out a verchacte inflatable Santa or Frosty, all bets are off. PS Why are those things deflated half the time? Who wants a puddle of Christmas in their front yard anyway?

2. When I moved here I decided to have one of my sofa's re-upholstered. It was of good quality, and I liked the shape of it, but the upholstery had seen better days. I figured it was wiser to spend $600 or so to rehab it, rather than the expense of replacing it. Well, last night they delivered it, and the upholsterer took it upon herself to round the goddamned corners on the back cushions. Did she call and ask if that's what I wanted? No, she did not. The fuck? She's a client of mine, so again, I didn't want to make a fuss or seem difficult, so I didn't say anything. I didn't complain that she'd ruined the clean, squared-off lines of my sofa. Argh!

I know what you're thinking. If I'm gonna complain about this, I should have said something to the people involved. What I'm trying to say is why would these people presume to think I'd share their taste? Or that they have any level of taste at all? Because no.

19 comments:

freakgirl said...

You must be amazing at sublimating your rage, because if someone had given me back a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PIECE of furniture than the one I gave them, I think I would have lost my fucking mind.

You need to tell her. She ruined a piece of furniture. You don't need to be a dick or demand a complete refund, but seriously, that is completely out of line.

Michael said...

The thing is, she's a kindly old lady (with concomitant old lady taste) and I'm sure she thought she was doing the old bachelor a favor or something. The back cushions are attached and were squared off, which went with the track arms...kind of a mildly mid-century modern aesthetic, but not entirely so. Now I'm left with squared off seat cushions, squared off arms, and rounded corner back cushions. But again, she's an old lady, and a client, and I just didn't have the stones to make a stink. That's why I need a husband who will get pissy over these things!

freakgirl said...

Arrrggggggggggggggggggh. You didn't have "the stones" to make a stink? You're afraid of an old lady? ;)

Seriously, though, I am the WORST at confrontation. But you will be amazed - AMAZED - at how much more powerful you become once you realize you can assert yourself and people will just be like, "I'm sorry, how can I fix it?"

Many times I'll just suck it up because it's not worth it, but furniture? Oh man, I'm all upset and it didn't even happen to me!

freakgirl said...

I'm going to stop lecturing now. The original point of your post was that people just presume that they know your taste.

I mean, blue icicle lights? Why?

Michael said...

Don't worry about the lecturing. At the least I should have let her know how I felt, but she really loves me (as the old women do) and hugs on me and ....and.....oh christ.

The Other Andrew said...

Give freakgirl her number.

"Hello? This is Mrs Engle here, and let me tell you..."

freakgirl said...

OMG wouldn't that be awesome?

Sherri said...

But all you have to say is "Oh, the couch looks great, but there's just this one little thing...I'm sure you didn't realize it, maybe you could show me how to fix it?" and then say how your couch has all these squared off corners you really liked, but maybe she had a problem with the back cushion's corners and you so appreciate what she did but maybe you and she could re-do those corners...

You don't have to make a stink. You don't even have to think of it in terms of her asserting her taste over yours. She might not even have thought about it like that, just was sewing away and tucked and oops there went the phone or Drew Carey said something funny on the Price is Right, and suddenly -- round corners.

Or she didn't realize you wanted it like that because you didn't SAY you wanted it like that....which means, go ask. You're not affronting her, you're asking. Nicely.

yani said...

"Who wants a puddle of Christmas in their front yard anyway?"

My favourite blog line of the week... :)

Michael said...

Good advice, all, but I've decided to move on. I'm LOVING the fabric I chose, the texture is divine, the color is pleasing and neutral, allowing me to pop it with pillows or throws as my whims dictate, it's all fresh and new.....am I really gonna lose sleep over corners? Well, yeah, I am, but not for long and mostly for nothing. That's right. I just got all zen on your asses.

Oh, and Yani, it's true, right?

The Other Andrew said...

Whimp.

I say that with love.

freakgirl said...

What in the hell is a "whimp?"

:)

You Aussies, with all your extra letters...

sam said...

Oh I would've gently placed that old hag's other foot in the grave. And then used a Wet Nap to wipe the old-person-smell off my hand.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

i think the sofa debate's been covered, so here's my 2p on the Xmas lawn-puddle phenomn:

simple physics. people inflate the damn things and put them up when the weather's nice. sun sets, temp drops, air inside cools and reduces the pressure inside Frosty. hence the half-melted look. either that or they're all just crap and leak a lot.

Beau RN said...

So here's the deal. Go get some badonkadonk action and make a stain then your inner Gay will HAVE to accept that you need a new couch and you can get one with divine fabric AND with the linear edges you want. And you got some nookie in the deal.

I'm just sayin.

Michael said...

We have a winner.

landis smithers said...

oooh baby. i feel ya. round cushion corners? i'd kill the bitch. seriously.

Beau RN said...

...then I'd have some more badonkadonk action on the new sofa, just because. But keep a cum rag close so you don't stain the new one.

Michael said...

Landis, do it for me!

Beau, after all this time, I'm not even sure if my badonk can still handle any adonk.