You come on like a flame, then you turn a cold shoulder

My workout routine was getting a little stale, so I infused it with some new blood this week. Verily I say unto you, my flock, SQUATS are the Devil's instrument. My quads are SCREAMING right now. (PS? They scream like a girl.) It's actually kinda good, though, you know? Like Mom used to say, 'It's a fine line between pleasure and pain.' Oh wait. Ewww. No, she used to say it's a fine line between joy and sorrow. The thing is, she only started saying that after she was too cheap or lazy to shop for a new card, and she sent me an old condolence card on my 21st birthday. Then all of a sudden this joy/sorrow, life/death dichotomy was her mantra. You just have to love that cheap old ho.