Thursday, December 20, 2007

How do I lube me? Let me count the ways

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I was briefly taken aback by how much I lubricate myself. It happened gradually, I guess, but now I find that I'm anointing myself with oils, creams and lotions from head to toe. Care to join me as I step out of the shower? While still wet, I douse myself shoulders to ankles with Neutrogena Body Oil (unscented). Then it's face time, with Lush Eau Roma Water, followed closely by Aveda All-Sensitive Moisturizer. I'm in my 40s now, so the eyes need a lil' extra attention, non? Tourmaline Charged Eye Creme. Smack my lips with some Honey Trap, and I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille. Well, except for hands and feet, where I'm back to the Aveda Aesthetique, for Hand Relief and Foot Relief.

I'm worth it, right? IT'S worth it. Right? Oh dear. I'm ridiculous.

11 comments:

freakgirl said...

It's worth it, babe. Your skin is flawless.

My face has sprouted a ton of lines within the past two weeks. WHY? I mean, yes, I know how old I am, but why all at once?

:: cries ::

Ur-spo said...

well it is winter and the heat is on - when in doubt, moistorize!

Michael said...

FG, so what about a nice light moisturizing foundation to even out my skin tone? OK, too far. Wrinkles? Vous? I doubt it, but excuse enough to add intensive facials to our spa day.

ur-spo, it's always about the mois-chu.

freakgirl said...

Well, Michael, we must look good when we go see Mika. :D

Michael said...

I said, "Suckin' too hard on your lollipop, oh, love's gonna get you down!"

Not sure what I meant, though.

The Other Andrew said...

How much is Hand Relief?

samuel said...

i speak for everyone when i say we would all enjoy a nice photographic step-by-step demonstration of how to look as good as you.

who doesn't enjoy a nice, clean, well-lubricated man?

Michael said...

For you, Andrew darling, Hand Relief is on the house, and when I say "one the house" of course I mean "on my sofa" "as long as we put a towel down first."

Samuel, good-looking is a stretch, but well-tended is within parameters. The best me I can be, right?

samuel said...

Oh pish posh. Your blog should be called Wetdreams.

Michael said...

Sweet talker.

freakgirl said...

Don't let him fool you - he's a hottie.