Running on empty

Help!!!!! Are there any marathon runners reading this? I'm training for the Chicago Marathon, as I've mentioned. I did 14 miles on Sunday morning and it KICKED. MY. ASS. Now this is not my first marathon, mind you, but it was ten years ago that I last did it. So, yeah, I guess I can't expect it to be as easy, but I also didn't expect it to be this hard. I ran 12 a few weeks ago and that went well, and I fully expect some bad days, because that's just how it goes, but yesterday morning when I finished, I felt like I couldn't take another step. Then I napped most of the afternoon and I'm STILL tired today. Damn. I thought I was in good shape. If you ARE a runner, do you have any advice? What I'm thinking is that I need to work on how I'm drinking/eating while running, because the first 10 miles were actually fine. It's the last four that killed me. Maybe I need to eat more as I go (I've used Gu and Clif Shot Blocks)? Yesterday I had one Gu and some water at about 6 miles......and then that was it. Hmmm, now that I type that, I realize that's probably not enough, but when I was 32 (WAY BACK WHEN), I think I had one Gu for the whole fucking marathon. Although, I'll grant you that I had some Gatorade every third mile. Hmmmm. Anyway. If you have any thoughts, I'd be happy to hear them.

You know you love me. XOXO

SPOTTED: E and C getting cozy in a downtown bar. Careful, C, you don't think E will take that lying down, do you? (Actually, that's exactly how I picture E taking it.)

But seriously, I don't care who they do sex to, I just think they make a pretty picture. And, yes, I've recently fallen completely and madly in love with Gossip Girl, but you didn't hear that from me. XOXO

Silver lining

You're exceedingly difficult to deal with, but I always walk away from our encounters with my self-esteem boosted, because I figure, at least I'm not smelly AND boring. So, thanks, lady.

Hit me with your best shot

Angelina Jolie is packing heat, and she's going to show James McAvoy how to load a phallic pistol and shoot his wad. What's not to like?

That's the opening of Peter Travers' review of the new Angelina Jolie flick, Wanted, and it's a big part of why he's one of my favorite movie critics. You should check out the rest of his take on it. It sounds like Wanted has elements of La Femme Nikita, only in this case, la femme is la James McAvoy. I think I'll see it today. Mmmm, McAvoy.

ADDED: I did catch Wanted this afternoon. See it! Just ignore the chasmic plot holes, strap yourself in, and enjoy the wild, violent, funny ride while in the capable hands of the charming and beautiful James McAvoy. Thank me (and Peter Travers) later.

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrl!

Another day at Wimbledon, another upset. Maria Sharapova went down to her 154th ranked countrywoman, Alla Kudryavtseva, yesterday. No big deal, as I'm not a huge Sharapova fan, but this match did provide my favorite tennis press conference quote of the week (the year? ever?). Sharapova debuted this daring look at the start of the fortnight.I say daring because this is the hallowed halls of tradition we're talking about. Wimbledon. Shorts! Tuxedo-styled shirt! Why, it's positively androgynous. Anyway, here's a choice tidbit from Kurdyavtseva after the match:

I don't like her outfit. It's a little too much of everything. ...It was one of the motivations to beat her.

You don't hear that in NASCAR.

Oh, and Andy Roddick lost as well, which I will use as an excuse to post a picture of him shirtless.

NO! la

My boy Novak (Nola) Djokovic went out EARLY over at Wimbledon, falling to former #1 Marat Safin yesterday. Damn. Love that kid. Although, Safin is quite the specimen. I once ran into him at the Cincinnati tournament as he was walking back from a practice court. Shirtless.

That reminds me. I need to buy US Open tickets.

Not as good as the Mile High Club, but still....

As of today, I'm in the 1000 Mile Club at Nike+. I didn't run with the Nike+ system every time until I started the marathon training. I'm using a training program from the Nike site, so I can upload my runs to the site and keep track of things like total mileage and average pace. SEEING the progress helps, never mind the gadgety, number crunchy goodness.

And he'll be big and strong, the man I love

Are you gonna try to tell me he isn't one of the sexiest things you've ever seen? Save your breath. He walked the runway for dsquared2 (they have the sexiest shows!) in Milan.

via towleroad

ADDED: I think this answers Jason's question in the comments.

And this is really good, non?

Through it all she offers me protection

I had a lady in my office this morning who was praising her angels. "There were angels!" she practically cried when I walked into the room. She'd been hit by a semi and lived to tell the tale, and she was very grateful to her guardian angels. Me, I'd be pissed if my guardian angel let me get hit by a truck. Bitch better be paying better attention than that.

Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

I'm straight, but I like dick

More than 90 percent of Americans -- including one in five people who say they are atheists -- believe in God or a universal power, and more than half pray at least once a day, according to results of a poll released today that takes an in-depth look at Americans' religious beliefs.

This is from a Washington Post article about America and religion. Ummm, I'm not sure what it says on Wikipedia, but aren't 20% of those "atheists" a little confused?

Oh, no, you're great. It's not you, it's me

They started 8 Minute Dating at a bar nearby. I thought it would be nice if they did 8 Minute Gay Dating, but then I realized that's the same as Regular Gay Dating.

But I look at your pants and I need a kiss

I'm so horny my teeth hurt.

I have a soft spot for men wielding cutlery

Don't forget the Top Chef Reunion is on tonight at 10EST on BRAVO. Mmmm, Colicchio.

Mazel, California Queers

Thanks to mrpeenee for the link.

ADDED: Oh, gosh. I had to add one more shot, this one captured by NYT photographer Monica Almeida of Tori and Kate Kuykendall and daughter Zadia. I'm kvelling! via

I'm faking it until I'm pseudo-making it

• How great was the Tony Awards last night? If this clip with the Xanadu cast doesn't make you want to rush out and see it, what will? Not for nothing do they call it children's theater for 40 year old gay men. Color my ass/demographic targeted.
• More later. I have to work/feign work for a bit.
• Oh, wait. For my birthday, La Freakgirl sent me When You Are Engulfed In Flames (how sweet is she?), the latest from my boo, David Sedaris. Some reviews have him mellowing, but I think his wit is as pointed as ever (In the closet I put on a sweater some half-blind child was pain ten sesame seeds to make), and I LOL on practically every page. I've seen him read twice now, and I think that informs my experience of the book. It's his voice in my head as I read it.
• What a difference a week makes. Humidity was down, heat was down, miles were down (only 12!) and my Sunday long run went swimmingly. So comfy and cocky was I that I ran the last five miles much faster than the first seven. Runs like that keep my motivation up, and I soldier on.
  
• The disk du jour is Alanis's new one, Flavors of Entanglement. I wouldn't call myself an acolyte, but I've been playing it over and over for days, thanks to another lovely who sent it for my birthday. There are times that I'm annoyed by her lyrics (OK, mostly her phrasing of them), but there's no denying the frank honesty in her songs, and, good grief, they seep in. I think this is some of her best stuff.
• To sum up, two of three birthday presents I received this year came from people I've met on the internet. That should tell you what an asshole I am in real life.
  

Like Pac, all eyes on me

And such dreamy blue eyes that a man like me could drown in them. Just when I think I can't love Anderson Cooper any more, he's on My Life on the D-List and he's so sweet and giggly and totes adorable and OMG can't I please just take care of him? I finished his book, Dispatches From The Edge, this week. Worth a read. It's made me think of things. See what he does? Now he's making me THINK deeper thoughts? PONDER even? Oh, Andy.

PS? When you google image AC, you get a disturbing picture of him gagged, trussed up and naked from the waist down, and I'll not dignify it further, other than, you know, just telling you how and where to find it.

Oh, no she din't

I'm SO CLOSE to leaving a biting voice mail for Little Miss Can't Be Wrong. My best friend's ex and I did not meet up when I was in Michigan the other week. It was through no fault of mine, unless you look at it from her tilted perspective. I managed to see EVERYONE ELSE, though. You make the call. So last week I left a jokey, funny voicemail to that effect. All "we can't let that happen again, darling" and whatnot. So she leaves me voicemail today explaining that I need to make sure I call in advance and she's sorry she missed me but she has a very busy life and I shouldn't expect her to drop everything when I show up unexpectedly. Um, you mean like Saturday when you slept in until 11, went to have your bangs cut, had brunch, and then test drove a BMW? I was supposed to see her after brunch and before the car, but "brunch went long." And did I mention that when she was at brunch I was taking her son to Chinese school? Sell that shit somewhere else, bitch, because I ain't buying. It'd all be FINE because I really didn't need to see her, but then she's gonna leave a message trying to make ME feel guilty? No. She closed with "Maybe we'll talk when I get back from Europe. Have a great summer!" Yeah, cram it, ho.

Faux Twitter

6:30-11:30 Work/Feign work
11:30-12:30 Work out/Fantasize about not even remotely hot dudes at the Y
12:30-3:30 Clean/Pay bills/Check items off list I haven't made yet which moves me toward important and necessary life changes/Play Wii instead of that list thing
3:30-4:00 Run 3 miles with 3x2 minute pickups
4:00-5:30 Beat it/Shower/Read
5:30-6:30 Cobble together dinner
6:30-7:40 Lost time/Unaccountable
7:40-8:30 Yoga
8:30-??? Wanna come over?

Slap it up, flip it, rub it down

Young Mel sent me an e-card for my birthday, and had I not already chosen my epitaph, this might have been in the hunt. Still, a nice sentiment, non?

On an unrelated note, sometimes even a Godless heathen such as I am will see meaning and purpose where there is none. To wit, I've always felt like certain birds were my totems, and today did nothing to disavow me of this delusion. While I did a few perfunctory stretches before my noon-time run, a hummingbird flitted up to my front porch and availed itself of the Bacchanalian delights of my potted plants. Red salvia anyone? It was an orgy.That's not all. I'm back at work now, and as I walked from my car (thinking about blogging the hummingbird, natch), I was treated to the distinctive song of Ohio's State bird, the cardinal. I looked up, and perched atop the cupola that crowns this building, was a bright red male, warbling his heart out. So, yeah, not signs, not totems, just evidence of the bounty and beauty of nature, no matter how much that God-shaped hole in me sometimes yearns to be filled.

Bullet the blue sky

• It's my birthday today. The only reason I mention it is so that you may supplicate yourself before me and render unto me what is mine. You know, in lieu of gifts.
  
• I did a 14 mile training run on Sunday. Hellacious. The forecast was for 90s and humid, so I got up early and hit the road by 6AM. Still, it was a rough one. SULTRY! It'll get better. It will. Won't it? I'm still on track with my Chicago Marathon training program. 154 miles down, 621 to go.
• My yoga class resumed last night. 10 days off and my hamstrings are petrified? Despite my inclinations, I think that makes me a genetic top. Oh well, I may not be the most flexible gay on the block, but bow to my balance, bitches. My tree pose should be filmed for future generations.
• "Tree pose" reminds me of one of my favorite lines from a Flight of the Conchords song: You're so beautiful, you're like a tree.......or a high-class prostitute. That whole song makes me laugh and laugh. And those two Kiwis make me wanna drop my panties.
  

Thinner, cheaper, blah, blah, blah

Yeah, yeah, new iPhone, it's awesome or whatever, but can't someone get him out of that hideous mock turtleneck? Even if it FIT, no.

Boy you can put me on you like a brand new white tee

Cheyenne, sans chemise avec du lubrifiant.

::passes out::

via AfterElton

You're feenin' to blaze up and taste me

• The half-marathon went well. I was using it (with hope) as a long training run for the Chicago Marathon. I finished about six seconds faster than last year. Yes, 13.1 miles and my time was six seconds from last year, when I was in much better shape and about ten pounds lighter. Not sure what to take from that other than the run served its purpose. And I got to hang out with some of my favorite people in Ann Arbor. Oh, and eat at Zingerman's Roadhouse, which, if you haven't, remedy that if you're ever in town. If you're into deli food, or just good ol' American fare, especially breakfast, you'll thank me after. Their Dutch doughnuts are freakishly good. And if I tell you I ordered an omelette with, among other things, oysters, will you think less of me?
• My friends, both dear and far, old and young, will freely discuss their sexual perversions and deviations with me at the drop of a martini. I suppose it might be because I'm a good listener, or that I keep their confidence, but I suspect it's because I'm the token fag in my social circle and they figure if I'm in to putting my weiner in some dude's no-no hole, I'm down with anything. False. My ears can only handle so much pussy talk. If you talk about your Bahamian resort straighty daisy chain, I'll focus enough to animate my face, but my mind will have escaped to less graphically hetero pastures.
  
• It's fun to bemoan the status of customer service these days, but if you haven't served the customers, give it a try sometime, then get back to me. Folks have an astounding sense of entitlement. The customer is always right? Sorry, you "I got stuck at every light/behind a school bus" dickwads, they're not. Not here. Not automatically. First, be polite, on time, and reasonable, then we'll talk.
• If you're a Hillary Clinton supporter and now you're saying you'll vote for John McCain (or at least won't vote for Barack Obama), I'm not saying you're a racist, but.......OK, actually I am.
• OMB, Patti Lupone just sang Some People from Gypsy (the website rawks) on The View. Need. NOW. ::checks calendar::
• I sweated more while running three miles at lunch just now, than I did when running 13.1 on Sunday. As Grandma used to say, it is SULTRY, yo.
  

You will always be my boo

Granted, I was primed for this because I'm reading A Coop's memoir this week, but still, my socks? Charmed off. And Donna Brazile is teh sexay herself, no?

via Jossip

ADDED: While I'm sharing, I'll offer what's easily my favorite picture of the day.That's Beth Ditto and Sam Sparro at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards. Isn't she fierce? And I guess I mean both of them, but mainly Beth, who does everything balls out. You can check out a sample of Sam here.

Am I a repressed masochist?

I'm the first to admit I have a fascination with the knife edge between pleasure and pain, but let's face it, it's more in conversation than in practice. At least I think so. So why did I just click on a link for Clay Aiken Mooseknuckle Sighting?