Thursday, June 12, 2008

Oh, no she din't

I'm SO CLOSE to leaving a biting voice mail for Little Miss Can't Be Wrong. My best friend's ex and I did not meet up when I was in Michigan the other week. It was through no fault of mine, unless you look at it from her tilted perspective. I managed to see EVERYONE ELSE, though. You make the call. So last week I left a jokey, funny voicemail to that effect. All "we can't let that happen again, darling" and whatnot. So she leaves me voicemail today explaining that I need to make sure I call in advance and she's sorry she missed me but she has a very busy life and I shouldn't expect her to drop everything when I show up unexpectedly. Um, you mean like Saturday when you slept in until 11, went to have your bangs cut, had brunch, and then test drove a BMW? I was supposed to see her after brunch and before the car, but "brunch went long." And did I mention that when she was at brunch I was taking her son to Chinese school? Sell that shit somewhere else, bitch, because I ain't buying. It'd all be FINE because I really didn't need to see her, but then she's gonna leave a message trying to make ME feel guilty? No. She closed with "Maybe we'll talk when I get back from Europe. Have a great summer!" Yeah, cram it, ho.


freakgirl said...

Is it wrong that I automatically roll my eyes whenever someone mentions brunching?

Michael said...

And what exactly occurs to cause brunching to "go long?" I'm sure it's all very unexpected and there's nothing that can be done about it.

jason said...

I pretty much rolled my eyes at everything she said.
They hurt, in fact, they've done so much rolling.

Michael said...

Jason, my hand to God, that's not embellished. And still I call her friend.

Michael Guy said...

I think the next message she should get is:

"The number you have dialed, XXX-XXX-XXXX, has been disconnected. No further information is available for XXX-XXX-XXXX."

Just saying.

Oh, brunch goes long when mimosas and trash talk combine.

Michael said...

I called R on Sunday when they were having the family brunch. They all sang Happy Birthday and then she grabbed the phone, exclaiming, "Oh, I missed seeing you last week AND I forgot your birthday! I'm terrible!" Of course it was on speakerphone and all for the audience, not me. Blarg. Starting to hate her, though I still love her.