Monday, February 12, 2007

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky

There is a war on. The earth is warming toward climate disaster. AIDS is sweeping nearly unchecked through Africa. So which of these events dominated my morning news? WINTER STORM WATCH 2007!!!!!!!! We might get 6-12 inches of snow, y’all! What am I doing writing this when I should be hitching up the buggy and getting to the general store to stock up on milk, eggs and bread? Oh, who am I kidding? The shelves are already bare. You know, cuz nothing gets you through a snowstorm like French toast.

You think I'm kidding about this WINTER STORM?!?! Check out the radar image, yo:See those delicate little wispy fingers of snow? Sure, they don't look like much now, but just you wait! It's gonna snow and snow and snow and then, and then, well, it's gonna stop.

14 comments:

Jen said...

Can't talk now, have to get to the grocery to go best 2 of 3 with someone's grandpa so I can get the last box of Cocoa Puffs! (I'm sorry, I had to say it, it's like the bad joke version of OCD.)

The news programs around here are all so right wing, reactionary, and packed with non-newsy content -- which is sometimes fictional -- that I think they qualify as parodies of themselves. Like the Fox affiliate that runs the Dedicated Housewife of the Week feature, or that one anchordude who does the regular little op-ed bit in which he basically just fabricates a liberal strawman and then uses a fart to light it on fire. I don't ever want to know how much they're paying that guy.

I avoid local news whenever possible, but I'm kinda curious -- have you heard them beating the drums about Iran yet?

Michael said...

I have not heard that, but I also avoid the local news, except for the "who got shot, which car crashed, whose house burned" edition in the morning for the sports recap and the weather forecast.

The Other Andrew said...

Where's Jake Gyllenhaal when you need him?

Michael said...

Oh dear. Have I bored you?

q60sgirl said...

Apparently... unless Jake can ride one of those nice horses through the snow and get you to the store. Good luck with that. However if you will make some french toast i am in on that :)

Michael said...

OH! How did I miss the allusion to spit and a promise butt sex?! ::pitches pup tent::

Leave it to one of the grrrlz to catch what I miss, Q.

The Other Andrew said...

See, sometimes carefully crafted movie allusions are lost on even the most educated of movie fags. But yes, other uses for Jake would at least help pass the time and keep you warm.

Michael said...

I thought a Brokeback reference just didn't seem YOU! But then Q spoke up and I don't really pretend to understand you people fully. I've never seen "The Day After Tomorrow"! Can I be frank? I'm Keith..I mean, I'm Mike and I am not a Gyllenholic.

The Other Andrew said...

I just died a little on the inside. I thought we had things we could share, now I don't even know you anymore...

Michael said...

Wait, wait! Don't be so hasty. I GET him, I do, but he's just so handsome and smart and goofy and, well, so fucking CHARMED that he irritates me.

OK, shall we just end it here and now before there's no good to remember?

The Other Andrew said...

Let's hug it out. It's all good. I'm moving through the pain.

q60sgirl said...

Hey Jake may be for TOA ::he sobs quietly through the pain:: but i am sorry he quite simply reminds me of a Basset Hound wearing cowboy attire. It had to be said. Now perhaps a superb horse from Lord of the Rings and a little bit of Liv Tyler for me.

P.S. I still want the french toast darlin'

Beau RN said...

"Jim Baldridge, reporting for Channel 7 at the site of BLIZZARD WATCH 2007 where a whole 1/2 inch of fluffy snow has silently fallen north of Dayton. Breaking weather news after the break, now back to you, Cheryl!"

Michael said...

Oh, that made me laugh. The more things change, the more they stay EXACTLY the same, Beau.