Friday, May 04, 2007

We'll have drinks and talk about things, any excuse to stay awake with you

I suppose that I should start this by explaining my long absence, but let's just shorthand it and assume the post would say something about being a bit down and distracted and blah-dee-blah-blah. Oh, and it would have been titled "Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'". Or something.

Remember my vacation over Easter? I'm madly in love with Vancouver, y'all. I'm thinking of moving there. Or at least being Vancouver for Halloween. Whilst there, I skied here: I hiked here (up the back side, not up the sheer granite-y front side): I ran here (like jogging into your dreams!): I shopped here: And here: Then there was lots of eating and drinking. No, LOTS of both. It was a Fuck My Diet Fiesta. When I wasn't doing all that, I read and relaxed and had conversations both serious and profane with some of my favorite people in the world. Could a queer boy from the Midwest ask for more from a vacation? I think not.

Back to now, I'm heading up to Michigan for my nephew's bar mitzvah this weekend. Should be a good time. I might stop at this Mega Porn Shop on the way up, maybe pick up a dildo because I've been toying with the idea of becoming a big ol' nelly bottom. Just a thought. I've never had one before. A dildo, I mean. I've had lots of thoughts. One assumes serious bottoming is a skillset, requiring some practice if one is serious and not just dabbling as in the past. Some boning up, as it were. Any suggestions? Vibrating? Suction cup base?


Jen said...

A dildo is so personal! Get whatever turns your crank. (When it's about bottoming do we say "cranks your turn"?)

Lovely pictures. We're looking at Vancouver, too.

freakgirl said...

I'm no religious expert, but I don't think you should have "bar mitzvah" and "dildo" in the very same paragraph like that.

Michael Guy said...

Welcome back!

Now about that dildo thing: I saw a double-headed one in a magazine pictorial over at a friend's house once. I'm just saying. Yep.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Whatever you get, don't be a cheapskate. Medical grade silicone is worth the money (lovely texture).

Welcom back.

Don't do that again.

Ur-spo said...

I am glad to see you writing again
I too love Vancouver; most people do; marvelous city!
Just remember - if size doesn't count, how come there are no four inch dildos?

Charlie said...

Michael...Dildos are so impersonal, I offer personalized teaching sessions. ;)

Michael said...

What about the skiing and the hiking and the running and the shopping? It's not ALL about the dildo, people.

Oh fine. I wasn't happy with the smell of the sex venue, so (and this shouldn't surprise me, but it did) I ordered a dildo on Amazon! Shipped and sold from Amazon (free Super Saver shipping, natch, as I'm in no rush)(much).

Not unlike shoes, isn't the width at least as important as the length in a dildo? I think I'm a narrow. And I'm partial to a creamy mocha shade, it seems.

Michael said...

Jen, the citizenship thing isn't so much of a concern, but for me, professional licensing is. BUT, this move would most likely be for a long time, so it would just be a matter of taking the steps. Vancouver has everything, I think. Maybe a little too much of some things (like rain), but its other charms make up for it. I was hanging with one of my new Vancouver friends this weekend at the bar mitzvah and she's gonna take me kayaking if I can make it up there this summer.

Freakgirl, if only I'd read these comments BEFORE I mentioned dildo at the actual ceremony. Oh, and after I found myself in conversation with the rabbi and a Catholic priest (friend). Totally a joke setup, right? A queer a priest and a rabbi walk into a synagogue......

CB, duly noted, although I don't think my "area" is as tactile as yours (again, yet?). And I'll try not to do that again.

ur-spo, it's an unexplored niche! I'm SO casting myself asap for my own signature line. ;-)

Charlie, yet another selfless act in the same weekend? I gotta figure that, unlike your local motorists when you saved the turtle, I'd be plussed. Very plussed. (Did I really just type that?)

The Other Andrew said...

I think we've established that you're king (queen?) of the non sequitur now. BTW - be sure and get one with trainer wheels. Try the My First Dildo line of products.

Beau said...

My new toy is still in the packaging. We're slowly circling it as if it was radioactive. I think my initial faZAH about getting a sex toy overshadowed the practical application of said toy. I actually went back to the website and reread the description and realized there was a whole paragraph about "whatever scene I'm into" and "hankies" that I skipped. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of thing you can just use as an ashtray or flower-vase. It's really gotta go in my bottom or sit on a shelf and collect dust.

I hope you have better stories to write about your new toy.

Michael said...

And you were SO my inspiration, Beau! Luckily (it seems), I went more banal.