I forget myself, I want you to remind me

OK, I'm gonna embed one more video and then I promise to stop because you have that "I need a YouTube respite" look in your eyes that I know too well. But first, if you find yourself with some time to burn this holiday weekend, by all means check out Little Miss Sunshine, which I've previously reviewed. Fuck me, but it's a comedy with a heart, people. And, thanks to said comedy, Steve Carell is my new crush. Can you believe I've never watched him in the freshly embossed with an Emmy The Office? Check out my boi interviewing himself and try not to be charmed just a lil' bit. He's kinda hot, I swear. But not humid, so it's fine. Steve Carell doing himself

I didn't learn, I wouldn't listen

Countdown with Keith Olbermann - Olbermann rebuts Rumsfeld


Keith Olbermann OWNS. Period. This is the best thing I've watched all week. All month. Thanks to I'm Just Sayin' for the link.

So much energy to prove to you

Men and women who are comfortably heterosexual aren't obsessed with stamping out homosexuality. Normal, non-neurotic people don't care what other people do in the privacy of their own homes. Normal heterosexual men don't spend their Saturday nights hanging around gay bars to beat up gays--they're out with women.

It's simple, really. If you hate gays, you're neurotic. Or gay yourself. I think he's right. It's just like when people are so certain that being gay is a "lifestyle choice". Same thing. They're all but admitting they have the same urges themselves, but suppress them, right?

link via towleroad

Start spreadin' the news

I can't believe I haven't been yammering about the US Open yet. It's Day 4 already. Last night they were finishing up Round 1 matches alongside Round 2, due to Tuesday's rain washout. It's starting slow and there have been no MAJOR upsets, so I feel like I can still make my picks. Stake a claim. Pull my lever. Punch my chad. You get the picture.
WHO I THINK WILL WIN:WHO I WISH WOULD WIN:TOP PLAYER WHO I'LL LIKELY THINK OF WHILE MASTURBATING THIS FORTNIGHT:FORMER TOP PLAYER WHO I'LL LIKELY THINK OF WHILE MASTURBATING THIS FORTNIGHT:And you?
Tomorrow: the ladies!

Oh, and look who else loves the mens of tennis:Sorry, but I just can't get enough of these two. So who's the fag who got Leichen box seats? I'm guessing Courier. What? Don't tell me Jim isn't a manbag-carrying, Dolce-wearing, Chelsea-living friend of Dorothy.

Hello, you fool, I love you

VW GTI Mk V - Joyride with Helga

You've gone a few weeks without dessert. This'll make the wait worthwhile. How about some Bavarian cream PIE, boys and girls? Helga ist in der Haus. Hell ja.

Helga will take you for a ride in the GTI of your choosing over at the VW site. Sista is a Teutonic wetdream, yo. I haven't been this turned on by Deutschlandische disdain since...gee...a few weeks ago? What was that? Yeah, I got that she isn't real. Neither is my lust for girls, though, so...ummmm......fuckin' A?

Heidi-link courtesy of fourfour

And Tuesday's child is full of grace

I watched World Trade Center this weekend. I'd like to share a few thoughts.

• I totally get that it's too soon for some people too watch this. Or that it may never be time. I don't agree that it was too soon to make the film, though. Watching it was difficult, but ultimately uplifting. And for the principal people involved in this particular story from that day, it was time. They want their story told as something positive that came from that day.
  
• It's the best thing Oliver Stone has done in a while. Some critics complained it was too straightforward, a "safe" movie that is surprising coming from Stone. Probably the same critics who call him a whackjob and a conspiracy theorist when he goes off the straight and narrow. I thought the direction was inventive and incredibly well done. It wasn't showy or distracting, though. There was no grandstanding, of which I think Stone's been guilty in the past. He (and the stellar cast) conveyed both the enormity of the event and the claustrophobia of the event.
  
• Sometimes I feel we are too quick to use the word "hero" when often ordinary people, placed in extraordinary circumstances, act as people will. In fact, I think to tag an act as heroic removes it from being human...a part of us. Sometimes it applies, though. There are people that do things many of us wouldn't. What these rescuers did at the WTC site, climbing about in the dark on what amounted to a colossal pile of multi-ton pick-up sticks, and then squirming and digging and squeezing into it to make a rescue, well, I never once felt that I could do the same.
  
• I don't know that I've ever witnessed a movie crowd so silently file out of a theater.
  
• The acting in this really was first rate. I expect it from Nicolas Cage and Maria Bello, but Stephen Dorff? Hats off, brother, cuz you brought it.
• The producers of the film donated 10% of the opening week's profits to charity. You might scoff at the percentage, but that's still three million dollars split between the World Trade Center Memorial Foundation and Tuesday's Children.

It's all coming back to ME now

I thought this was gonna be one of those quiz things, but it's just straight up astrology or something. Enter birthday, get Life Path Number. Thanks for the link goes to the terribly charming and terribly young Yaniboy. I don't necessarily agree with this assessment of ME, but I know some who will. That's why I share it. For THEM, not ME. See! It's not always about ME. What's your Life Path Number, Precious?

Your Life Path Number is 1

Your purpose in life is to lead others. You have great drive and determination. Nothing is going to stand in your way. You seek out challenges and the spotlight. You'll take all the work - and all the glory. Status and success are important to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything. In love, you tend to take a protective role. You enjoy being the provider in relationships. You expect others to be like you, and as a result, you are often disappointed. A little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first. Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you don't need to remind them!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Like a wheel within a wheel

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: everything is better with Venn. I found this one, and others, thanks to the lovely and talented Johnny.....AGoGo. That's how I say it, with the pause. Because it, like he, makes me happy. Now if only he'd deign to respond to my comments over there JUST ONCE, I could die a happy man. In truth, he knows me too well. I get off on the neglect.

They say that God takes care of drunks and fools and children

Last Sunday, I had the running equivalent of The Perfect Storm. Well, except I mean that in a good way like everything conspires to make something sublime. Although, I guess to a weather geek the perfect storm is good in a fascinating way because he's so single-minded that he doesn't concern himself with loss of human life. Anyway, if you're a runner, you know what I'm talking about, don't you? These runs sneak up on you. It's not necessarily idyllic conditions and you're not necessarily at your most rested. And cold leftover Ma Po Tofu, though delicious, can hardly be considered the ideal pre-run breakfast (or maybe it can!). I was at a continuing education seminar in Columbus last weekend and I woke up Sunday morning feeling kind of agitated. I wasn't happy with the way things were going in class and I knew I had five hours to go in that frigid conference room. I decided to lace up the sneaks and see if I could pound out some inner calm. I set the Nike+ device for 10K and I cued up the Freakbeats mix on the Nano. And within minutes my troubles were lost. Call it "the zone" or maybe I was on some other plane of existence, whatever, but it was effortless and it was over before I knew it. And for me, the pace was actually crazy. I'm sure there are those reading who go much faster, but for a Sunday morning run, this was serious and surprising business for me. Just what the doctor ordered, too. Got me through the rest of that day and also has me believing that, just maybe I can run my age in that 10K race I'm doing in October.

ADDED: Lest this come off as too self-congratulatory (recognizing it is the first step, right Andrew?), I should mention that only days after the perfect run, I had the swirling vortex of suck. Last night my legs were tired (it felt like running through mud), the air was too thick and humid to breathe, and I had a steadily worsening headache for three miles. And I was slow. And wanted to walk. And audibly whined, possibly to the consternation of passersby. I think an elderly couple and their three-legged dog did pass me by at one point. You gotta love it, the running, cuz it's not all sunshine and pussycats.

I lay on my back and watch clouds roll by

I know it's been a few weeks already, but may I still say a few words about the Chris Isaak concert? C'mon, I was feeling a lil' blue around then, remember? Like not Forever Blue or anything. Not like I was staying in the Blue Hotel. More like I was lying on my back gazing at the Blue Spanish Sky. But I'm better now, so shall we? I'd enjoyed Chris Isaak over the years. Wicked Game, ummm, sparked my interest enough that I bought the Heart Shaped World CD and I've enjoyed and followed him, if only peripherally, since. He's put out some good stuff and let's face it, he's pompadourable.Chris LIVE, though, kind of changes everything. If anything, he's done got hotter over the years, the initial draw, but over and above that, he puts on a SHOW, kids. I never realized it, but the boy has some serious pipes. He can straight up sing. And he's hilarious. And he gets all Rock(abilly) Star on your ass with the costume changes. The blue sequined suit.And of course the mirrored suit.Both look like they were tailored in the 80's, though. In his defense, I have to imagine that a sportier cut on that mirrored suit would run through a few dollars. And bandages. Anyway, he's in great voice, he charms and amuses you with the anecdotes and, if he tells you the story of his hardworking mom, he might just make you well up a lil' bit. Oh, shutup. I just loved this show. Chris also supplied me with my new catchphrase. When he was discussing how he tailors the show to different audiences, he mentioned that he would clean things up for our Midwestern Heartland tastes. That was greeted with a chorus of boos. Then he was all, "Alright, you asked for it, but I gotta tell you, it's gonna get filthy. And for no reason. Just filthy for filthy's sake. And I don't wanna hear no complaints. When you're in the parking lot after the show...coughing up sequins.... and sayin' 'That was filthy!', just remember I warned ya." Filthy For Filthy's Sake. Could there be a better banner for Pipedreams?

Oh, and as I mentioned, my initial interest in Mr. Isaak was sparked by the BEYOND HOT Wicked Game video from way back.How many times has that shit been copied since? Lots. That's how many times. Be honest, after that three minutes you wanna fuck both of them, right? Over at LOGO Online, they are having an Ultimate Sexiest Video contest. Why don't you toss off a errrr...VOTE...that's it...vote....for my boy?

Silver lining in the clouds

Coldplay - The Hardest Part

I cannot tear my eyes away.

link via towleroad

I'm gonna get free

I know August is almost over, but it's still summer, dammit. One day soon I'll start pairing this sundress with some tights, maybe in a rich chocolate, but for now it's still bare legs, guys. With that in mind, if you're still looking for the perfect summer read, then you can stop your search right here. Go pick up Scott Smith's The Ruins (linked in the sidebar) and you'll have all you could hope for. I bumped it up to the top of my TO READ pile based on Max's recommendation and, as usual, he couldn't have been more right. Check out his review for a little background. I'll simply say that even though I'm not a frequent habitue of the THRILLER aisle at the local bookseller, I tore through this book in two days. The writing is spare, the suspense is nearly unbearable. Smith takes this all the way and he doesn't flinch. You may. I did. Apparently there've been some who balk at the ending (including Stephen King), but I can't imagine it being more appropriate, or satisfying. Maybe that speaks to my current state of mind....the zeitgeist of ME. Regardless, I think you'll enjoy. Thank me later.

I've paid my dues

Oh, these people are good. Just as the interminably perky Katie Couric (can't bring myself to link her) steps down over at the Today show, Good Morning America makes its move. They pulled off a masterful one-two stroke this week as they announced Sam Champion as their weather guy, just a day after naming Chris Cuomo the GMA news guy. There is simply no better way to get the internet chatter going than HIRING TWO HOT GUYS.Especially if one of them is a big homo. Seriously. Just watch the flurry over the next few days. Funny thing. If you google Sam Champion, the kindly search engine suggests you might also try the following: "Sam Champion gay" and "Is Sam Champion married?". The Today show is not taking all this lying down.Who knew Lauer had such a slab?

World, hold on!

I know it's way more complicated than this, but the picture does tend to highlight the point that it really has nothing to do with land and everything to do with religion and hate (the blood brothers).

I didn't eat yesterday, I'm not gonna eat today

Tonight is the season finale of WORKOUT, guys, and if you haven't been catching this shizz, then you should rectify that immediately. You heard me. Rectify it. BRAVO will repeat it into the ground.

I'm into going to the gym. I'm into gays. You put the two together and, well, that's a potent cocktail that I'm gonna quaff until I pass out from the deliriously staged cattiness of it all. Those crazy kids from Sky Sport and Spa, they're not ALL gay, mind you. Just the interesting ones. Let's play a game. If you do watch, go to the comments and make a list of who you'd fuck. Make it top five. In descending order of fuckitude. Who's game? Here's mine:

1. Jesse- I love a twink. Sue me.
2. Brian- Big and stupid. Nuf said?
3. Rebecca- Kinda shemale. And slutty. My girlfriends were always "sporty". Go figure.
   
4. Doug- Big. Would have scored higher if he were more stupid.
5. Jackie

Jackie would be (4), but last week when she tried to get all sexy with that cherry and the lighting was really bad and her makeup was all caked in her crow's feet, it kinda took the shine off her for me.

97% DRAMA.

One thing we share is an ideal of beauty

Do you love Miss Toni Collette like I do? She's all over the cineplex right now, starring in the last two movies I've seen. Let's discuss them, shall we? The first is The Night Listener, which stars Robin Williams and Miss Collette, and these two leads put some good stuff up on the screen. For Williams, I think it's one of the best things he's done. I'm not a huge fan though, so that could be faint praise, but he's very good as a radio essayist who, while rebounding from a broken romance, gets wrapped up in the life of a sick boy and his mother. Miss Collette plays the mother and she is stunning. As thrillers go, though? The Night Listener-- not so thrilling. It does have some cool things to say about how we filter and edit our experiences until they little resemble what may have actually transpired. We all live in our own world and the next guy's version is a helluva lot different. The movie has some serious flaws in my opinion, but it's worth checking out for the performances alone. Not sold yet? Bobby Cannavale is in it and he's playing gay again. And he's still pretty. Yeah. Grab a pack of Junior Mints on your way in. Let me know what you think.Now for the main event. Like the first, this one is chock full of fabulous performances, but add to that better direction, a more coherent plot and a generous helping of yuks and guffaws and you have Little Miss Sunshine, y'all. It's the most fun I've had at the movies this summer. I think the casting director for this flick deserves an Oscar right now. Everyone is just spot on in this thing, from subtle glances to big scenery chewing stuff. A dysfunctional family roadtrips in a broken down van to get their daughter, Olive, to a child's beauty pageant after she pins all her chubby lil' hopes on it. Sounds pedestrian as plots go, and it might have been in lesser hands. I can't decide who I loved more in this. Toni C., sure, but Greg Kinnear (his best since As Good As It Gets), Steve Carell (I did NOT know he had it in him) and Alan Arkin (never fails to fascinate me) are fantastic. And the little girl who plays Olive, Abigail Breslin, will crack you up and break your heart. Seriously. It's a wonderful time at the movies. Thank me later.

And this life is a beautiful one

Just because.

The water is wide, I can't cross over

Please tell me this is just one of those things where they style models a certain way. These gents, trousers jauntily rolled for the impending deluge, appear in the "What's New for Fall" section over at Polo.com.Did you ever actually do this? Like in the 80s? Cuz I totally did, including the penny loafers. Best Dressed, Class of 1983, yo. You'd never guess it to see me now. I couldn't be more Banana Republic if I tried.

Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history

Safin al fresco.

The world was on fire, no one could save me but you

I know there hasn't been much excitement around here the last few days. What? Who just said "try months"? Well, maybe you can re-read the posts for the last year with the new knowledge that as I wrote them, my DELL laptop could have burst into flames at any moment. Now that's drama, right? Dude, you're gettin' a crotch fire! Insert your own "flamer in my lap" joke here.While my current concerns aren't focused specifically on my crotch, this morning I'm getting a battery of tests. Mostly blood tests, but I'll add that a needle won't be the only thing inserted in me and leave it at that. I just haven't felt right lately and so I'm doing a few things to see if I can blanket out the smoldering concern. I mean, I ran 10 miles on Sunday at 7:20 pace (the specifics are for Andrew), so how bad off can I be? I probably wouldn't share this at all, except I've fasted for 12 hours for the blood work and since that's like 5 or 6 skipped meals for me, I'm loopy. And having delusions. And harboring illusions. OK, that last one is totally my default mode.

Later, I'm heading down to watch the boys play tennis in Cincy. Nadal, Federer, and Roddick are all on the slate today. Did you hear that? It was the distinct sharp gay inhale of excitement from all the tennis queers out there. Envy me, bitches.

All I need is what you got

I know it's Saturday, but just try and tell me you've never accomodated some MEAT that came stumbling in after midnight. It's noon, sure, but same principle. Don't even front. We are talking TWO different kinds of MEAT served up on a delightfully buttery bun. That's right, bitches. I'm servin' it up Monte Cristo-stizz this weekend. Here's Queer Eye's Kyan Douglas and his boyfriend. I'm in quite the agitated state the last few days, so I can't be bothered to google his bf's ass. If you do, let me know who smiley Boy Wonder is. What I do care about is these two were lined up and ready had New York done right by the faggots. For me personally, I'm not feeling the whole marriage thing, but it's a fucking travesty that these two PYTs can't have it.Oh, and don't quibble with me about brotha's tired eyes or otha brotha's teeth. They are both fucking hotter than 90% of the rest of us and, ummmm, I'm in a mood, remember?OK, so the last shot isn't with Kyan's boyfriend. That'sBig Brother's Nurse Will Winkle who I include because I find his Tupelo ass completely adorable.

Shootin' at the walls of heartache, bang, bang

Would you think very much less of me if you learned I may be a stalker? I was listening to Tim Gunn last night on Project Runway and, as has so often been the case, his tone and inflection made me miss my dead Grandma. No, seriously. Dead. Ringer. Anyway, you know his backstory, right? He's the haughty (and surely naughty) Fashion Design Chair at Parson's, and mother hen to the designers on Runway. On a personal note, the poor hawt dear had his heart broken a long time ago and hasn't dated since like the 80's or some shit. Anyway, back to the call. You heard me. I rang up T. Gunn. Bitch screened me, sure, but after the message I left, I'm confident I'll be hearing from him soon. Fuck Andre, I think it's only a matter of weeks before Tim and I are doing lunch at the Red Lobster. Oh, and get off your high horse. Is it SO STRANGE that I booty-called this droll design doyenne......who I'd totally fuck (after I dusted it first*)......who sounds like my Grandma?

*While a practical matter in this case, hole dusting, or swiffering, as they're calling it in some circles, is quite the rage these days. It's fun and your taint can never be too tidy, people.

And I'm the one you wish you were kissin'

What? You don't eat pie after 6:00P? Even if said PIE is fresh and super sweet and perfectly flaky? You'll have some. I'd never heard of Tristan Prettyman before last night, but babies, she is super fine. She was the opening act for Chris Isaak last night and I'm a little bit in love with her. She came out in a fluttery summer dress and flip-flops, toting her acoustic guitar. And that was the extent of her gig. No band, no lights, no plugs, no fuss. I'm a sucker for an earnest singer/songwriter. I'm a sucker for some clean-scrubbed J. Crew-ness. I'm a sucker for freckles.Isn't she adorable? As was her show. She told the story, then she sang the song. She kicked off her flips and danced around a bit. Oh, and a couple times she did this accent, which can be tricky, right? Easy to be annoying. Well, I'm not sure what she was going for with it exactly, but she totally sounded like Triumph. Trust me that on her, it was charming.Finally, she is obviously crushing on Mr. Isaak, so she was instantly relatable to me. Of course I downloaded her CD when I got home. So young and sweet and breezy. Perfect summer music. It might be THE CD for the end of my summer, if it weren't for Corrine Bailey Rae.
**Chris Isaak concert review to follow soon.

Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet

It's that time again, folks. Flora From The Fagala. Enjoy!I didn't even plant these petunias. A few years ago I was caught up in the WAVE petunia craze, and somehow these came up of their own volition this year. Now they are mounded around my mailbox (dirty!).
This is an early Sunday morning shot of the Rose of Sharon bushes. The ones I planted in homage to my very teensy and very dead Grandma, remember? Not enough light in the shot, but I'm really liking it that way.
If you were visiting, these Blackeyed Susans would be right outside your window in the guest room. I'm not sure what the name of the other perennial is. I brought it over from my first house where it had been when I moved in. Oh, who am I kidding? If you were visiting, you'd so be sleeping in my bed, right?

You ever close your eyes making believe you're holding the one you're dreaming of?

So I think I'm heading down to the Fraze Pavilion to see Chris Isaak tonight. On a school night. Alone. Fuck it. I couldn't find anyone to go with. You get the idea I don't have many friends around here? If so, perceptive of you. I've become isolated as my friends (virtually all straight)(OK, not virtually, actually), have married off and had kids. Anyway, I'm gonna check out my prime cut of pompadoured pretty this evening. Any local fags, hags, or maybe even straight guys with questions, who wanna meet me there, just holla back, young'n'.

ADDED: How about a little local history lesson, kids? The Fraze Pavilion is named after Ermal Fraze, Dayton resident and inventor of the pull-top can (dirty!).

I could get used to you

OK, I was so impossibly horny whilst I shopped today that this Menswear Sale ad guy at Parisian totally gave me a bone. Inopportune at the mall, especially when one had earlier succumbed to a summery urge to go commando. Do I repulse you now?

I know that you are strong enough to handle what I need

I had never heard of Nick Beyeler before this week. I stumbled across him over at BENT. However, in the last few days I've been HAUNTING his website. He's the World Aerobic Champion, y'all. What does that mean exactly? You'd think I would know by now (SEE: haunting his website), but I'm not gonna pretend that I've actually read anything over at his website.I must admit that I have imagined that there must be other aerobic governing federations out there and at some point Nick and the International Aerobic Champion are gonna meet up for an aerobic smackdown. You in?If you check out his pics you see that he's only gotten hotter with age. Love that. He's gone from shaved to unapologetically hairy. Love that.And then there is the quality that I invariably find the most charming and attractive in a man-- brotha is very bendy.Although I'm sure he's smart and all (hee!), he's here today, FRIDAY, because he's MEATY. Oh, and he's funny, too. Here's a snippet from his bio: Nick Beyeler-- World Aerobic Champion and referee, actor, model, presenter, and international cover boy. Unless he was being serious. You don't think he was being serious, do you? There's one last thing. He's available for sessions of "Traditional Thai Massage". That's totally code for ESCORT, right?