Monday, January 23, 2006

But this time you know I'm the only love for you that's coming through

Janet Parshall, conservative radio talk show host, was on Larry King Live earlier this month during a discussion of the motion picture Brokeback Mountain (sublime, btw. I'm posting about it later even though everything to be said has already been said...don't haunts me....I loved it....). Anyway, here's an excerpt from of what she had to say about gays adopting and gay marriage. There are so many things wrong with practically every word, where do you even start?

Opining on gay marriage, Parshall called it a "pretend family," arguing that "God himself" defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman, and that "everything else is a fraudulent misrepresentation." She then asserted that
allowing a gay couple to adopt constituted "state-sanctioned child abuse because you've purposely taken away either a momma or a daddy, and mom and dad are both necessary in a child's life."

OK, let's play a variant on that game where you have to find all the things wrong in a picture. You know, where the wagon wheel is actually an apple pie? I'll start. Are the gays adopting kids OUT of two parent families or are they trying to provide a home for infants with no parents at all?

link via towleroad


Jen said...

Okay, I'll bite, I love puzzle games:

1. "pretend family" -- as if the family isn't a social construct in the first place, making all families "pretend" on the same level.

2. "God himself" -- has this woman really checked the Divine Naughty Bits? And isn't "god" plural in Genesis? Hmm.

3. "defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman" -- Wow, this lady sure knows the intricacies of the Biblical Law. I wonder if she could explain to me the precise rules on slave-owning, because I've never been completely clear on the "foreign" provision. Like, can I buy me a Mormon slave from Utah or do I have to cross the Mexican border in order to stay on the righteous path to God?

4. "everything else is a fraudulent misrepresentation" -- I love when people who don't understand the first thing about the law try to use even remotely legal language. That never stops being funny. I'm queer as a three-dollar bill, unless I get married, in which case I'm queer as a three-dollar bill fraudulently masquerading as a Canadian quarter.

5. "state-sanctioned child abuse" -- I know! Just like when the state lets those whackjobs raise their kids in cults. It's awful, isn't it?

6. "because you've purposely taken away either a momma or a daddy" -- and all kids have both, which is a natural fact, so you can't argue with it, and the "socially constructed fact" of parentless children & single parenthood is totally an illusion. (I bet some of you thought it was real, right? Heh, watch my hands more carefully next time.)

7. "mom and dad are both necessary in a child's life" -- Wait, I thought all we needed was Jesus. I'm so confused...

Michael said...

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Now you have me wondering why we aren't stoning adulterers in this God-fearing country?

I don't suppose there are many Christians in the hizzay, but if so, enlighten me on what Jesus said about gays.

Michael said...

jen, whenever I read the ramblings of bitches like this, I'm always reminded of this quote from...errr...Galileo. Yeah, old school, but brotha spans the centuries:

"I believe that good philosophers fly alone, like eagles and not in flocks like starlings. It is true that because eagles are rare birds they are little seen and less heard, while birds that fly like starlings fill the sky with shrieks and cries, and wherever they settle befoul the earth beneath them."
* * *
But even in conclusions which can be known only by reasoning, I say that the testimony of many has little more value than that of few, since the number of people who reason well in complicated matters is much smaller that of those who reason badly. If reasoning were like hauling I should agree that several reasoners would be worth more than one, just as several horses can haul more sacks of grain than one can. But reasoning is like racing and not like hauling, and a single Barbary steed can outrun a hundred dray horses.

Or, in the words of the inimitable 90's sages, 'The Refreshments':

Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people, so meet me at the mission at midnight, we'll divvy up there.

Jen said...

I've always identified a little bit with Galileo, and it's not only about the weird overlap that puts us both afoul of the Catholic Church just for being right and generally unapologetic about it. It's also the night sky obsession, and that he had the stones to argue against Aristotle. Plus which, I love heady academic dorky stuff like Karen Walker loves a valium-spiked vodka drink.

Michael said...

So you've read "Galileo's Daughter" then?
Loved that. And of course you must dig the Indigo Girl's 'Galileo'. ;-)

Galileo's head was on the block
His crime was lookin' up the truth....

The Other Andrew said...

Dude, I was just about to show what a hip dyke I was dropping the fact that I adore "Galileo" by the Indigo Grrrrrls. You beat me to it. I mean, a song about reincarnation! That is like so up my spiritual alley, and everything.

I heart you & Jen.