Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Is the water warm enough? Yes, Lisa. Shall we begin? Yes, Lisa.

So, where was I? Bit of an unscheduled break there. You knew it had to happen eventually. It's been like six months almost. I finally found a lil' bitch who services my every desire, fast and nasty. Hell, he takes care of needs I wasn't even aware of. So sue me for not hanging around here with youse bitches. I can't believe my luck, but when I'm done with him, he sits unobstrusively in the den, with nary a peep out of him, only the faint glow of his red and green lights let you know he's even around. He's all I've ever dreamed of, and more. That's right, kiddies. Santa brought me TiVo. And TiVo knows me like no one else has before. It was only days into our relationship and he was offering me up a cornucopia of queer on a platter. At some point the bloom may be off the rose, but for now, it's a tight little perfect red bud that makes me ache just thinking about it.

Truth be told, I was AWOL because I'm prone to bouts of mild depression. Have I mentioned that? Nothing clinical mind you, but it's a fairly low swing and I get all hibernate-y like a bear then, for good reason. You don't wanna tangle with me. Now that I'm back up, though, if you're into tall and hairy and being swatted by one of my big paws, then bring it, Boo Boo.


The Other Andrew said...

We love you all bear-like and hibernatey, you know that. Jeezalou, if you need an upper well that's what we, your loyal commentors who jockey for your love and attention, are here for.

I understand the allure of non-stop programming, but dude, dissed for a TiVo...

Seriously, glad you're back and sorry to hear that you were a bit flat there for a while. I'd offer you something that's bound to make you smile, but dude you're too far away for me to reach.


Bodhi said...


Oh happy happy happy! Joy joy joy!


Ditched for an electrical applicance indeed TOA. I mean if at at least came with batteries and variable speeds I might have understood. But this!? ...

Forget the damn TiVo with its fancy functions. Dump the pause cause I need the paws. Forget the lights and let me flash you this ... [unleashes] ... Now, there's something your damn TiVo don't got, huh? ;-)

And let me leave you as I sing the immortal words of The King:

Baby let me be,
Your lovin’ teddy bear
Put a chain around my neck,
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

I don’t wanna be a tiger
Cause tigers play too rough
I don’t wanna be a lion
’cause lions ain’t the kind
You love enough.
Just wanna be, your teddy bear
Put a chain around my neck
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear

Michael said...

There is a fine line between 'back' and 'able to feign', but thanks for the welcome, Andy. The week of Christmas was crazy with nieces and nephews which was awesome, then everyone left. That seems to precipitate the fall. Anyway, I'm embarrassed whining about this. Happy New Year! Kisses all around.

bodhi, bodhi, bodhi....
Forget the damn TiVo with its fancy functions. Dump the pause cause I need the paws. Forget the lights and let me flash you this ... [unleashes] ... Now, there's something your damn TiVo don't got, huh? Dude, that was some of your best work and I say that as a big fan. Muah!

savante said...

Finally! You're back in action. Have been wondering where you've been hiding all Christmas.


freakgirl said...

Oh, I missed you. Congratulations on your new TiVo!

Sorry you're feeling blue. Post-holiday letdown is an evil thing. You should take a vacation. A REAL one; not with family. Somewhere sunny and warm where lots of cute boys cavort shirtless on the beach.

Michael said...

Back from hiatus, Paul, and after catching up with your bedtime stories, daydreaming about being Darcy to your, well, Darcy. Or Lizzie to your, umm, Lizzy. Or, oh, you get it.

Freakgirl, it's nice to be missed even when it wasn't and unintended absence that stretched on. Loving the TiVo as you said I would. I have it hooked up with a phone line for now as I realized there was a jack nearby. I may have to call for help on hooking it up to my network. Do I just need to get a network adaptor for him? PS I laughed when I read your vacation suggestion. I was thinking the SAME thing when my Jewess sister called and insisted I go with them to Disney World next week. Again. For like the fifth time in six years. They have a nice time share inside so... Surprised that I agreed? I'm a sucker for family. So no shirtless hot boys.....yet.

freakgirl said...

I want to go to Disney World next week! :)

I'll be in Venice, FL on Jan. 18th. Will you still be in the state?

As for the TiVo, email me with any questions and I'll have the geekboy get back to you. He can also help you over the phone if it gets to that. :)

Michael said...

We're like two ships that pass in the night. Sleek ones. Not cigarette boats, though. All quiet with our power. I'll be heading back home on the 18th. It's just a short jaunt. I'm going down on the 13th. Disney is fun, but I promised myself I'd take a break after four years in a row. Maybe to up the novelty, I'll challenge myself to bag a cast member. Not like Tarzan or some shit. Someone from my milieu, like maybe the soda jerk at 'Beaches and Cream' (hee, a real place).

Michael said...

PS Y'all, how fucking HOT is the Harley ridin', bikini waxin' model I pasted up for no other reason than he makes my throat tight every time I look at him?

Bodhi said...

Somewhere sunny and warm where lots of cute boys cavort shirtless on the beach

Oh I heartily agree, Freakgirl. Two words for ya Mikey, and two words only:

Bondi Beach

Now, should you ring QANTAS and book your flight to Sydney or shall I do it for you?

PS. Oh, and as to that choice of model ... he's hotter than a naked boyband overdosed on viagra in a sauna ;-)


Michael said...

I had a similar internal dialogue going, Bodhi, about the travel plans. I'm dying to see Sydney, but it's not really spur of the moment travel with the distance and the $2,100 ticket price. Or is it? Live a little, Mikey?

Bodhi said...

Live a little, indeed! You deserve it sweetness! Yes, its a longish flight, but nothing a little inflight entertainment, ipod listening, a good book, or even some casual flirting with cute male Aussie inflight staff can't readily cure. And yes, the ticket is not cheap, but think of all that money you will save by staying with Andrew and moi. I mean the only accomodation issue you will have to wrangle with is do you want the left side or the right side of your bed of choice? ;-)

And aside from the hobbit and moi, there is the beach, the sun, mountains, harbour, flowers in bloom, shopping, cute Aussie guys, gay bars, drag shows, cafe's, restaurants, and attractions ad infinitum sweetness.

Oh (and if this does not get you here, nothing will ..), and there is hot, repeat HOT, Rabbit's here in Sydney too.

Don't delay, ring and book now, the city awaits!

freakgirl said...


The Other Andrew said...

Hey lil' soldier, how you doin'?

BTW - the model is hot, but nobody should have a body fat % that low. It's just wrong. They'll be the first to go when the nuclear winter comes, mark my words, all those pretty skinny folks!

Oh, cheery, much?

wingedman said...

Ack! Those abs are unreal. I wonder how'd it feel like lying on it...

Yay for your TiVo darlin! My TiVo substitute's BitTorrent...