Sunday, April 30, 2006

On State Street, that great street

One of the best things about a real live boyfriend (vs. one who always needs to be re-inflated after major weather changes) is Sunday mornings in bed or on the sofa with coffee and the paper and something yummy playing through the speakers and nothing to do but read and snuggle and be quiet or laugh loud or just sniff around. (See how I just joked about a blowup bf and thereby implied that I don't have one without making an explicit denial?) I don't have a boyfriend, so I'm sitting here all solitary with the paper and my coffee (Seattle's Best Organic House Blend...divine, you guys) as Mozart rocks out his Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. Quite without intention (well, initially), I've recently amassed a collection of Starbucks city-themed coffee mugs as I've been travelin' thru and to the last six months or so. I know. How pedestrian, right? Oh, fuck you. There's New York and SEE-attle and THE Atl and Vancouver, but this morning, in lieu of a real boyfriend, I'm sipping from the Chicago mug, in a horny homage to this kitten, on whom I'm currently smitten. That's cute, and not at all creepy, right? If you too would like to be my internet boyfriend, I can be had for the price of $9.99 USD or its monetary equivalent. Send me a Starbucks mug from your city, and I'm yours (say maybe Sydney or Austin or Malacca or Adelaide or KL or ...OK, some or all of them prolly don't have their own mugs, so to be fair, you can still have me for the embarrassingly low price of ten Georges/.1 Benjamins). FYI, even as an internet bf, I'm gentlemanly in public, and a dirty whore in private. And, not unlike my internet connection of late, I've been know to go down for days.

15 comments:

The Other Andrew said...

So what am I, chopped liver? You know you were my first platonic, long distance internet boyfriend!

...what, this isn't about me?

Michael Guy said...

But you already OWN the Chicago mug? So now what can I send? FRANGO mints?

Michael said...

OF COURSE I thought of you, darling Andrew, but given that you're so in the throes right now, well, it just seemed so....errr...unseemly. You'll always hold a special place in my heart (you have to use a fake British accent on that, just like the cheesy commercials here for the Princess Diana exhibition at the Dayton Art Institute), since you also popped my platonic, long distance, internet boyfriend cherry. Of course, the rest of them weren't very far away and/or I fucked them. How could I ever forsake the man who, in his first direct reference to me, alluded to my "self-promoting" tendencies?

MG, yes I have the mug, but hello, kitten, did you not read the post? Al...ready...smitten. I know that you, like Andrew, are taken, but don't those itches come in seven year increments? I'll hold my own for a bit. I've become quite adept at holding it after all. Besides, have you seen you in that shirt? And in those lips? PS. I'll Frango you real good, bitch.

The Other Andrew said...

So, not forsaken after all then. Time to add another wing to the rambling fortress I like to call "EGO"!

I was trying to figure out if FRANGO was an acronym, but only got as far as the F... I'm certain that I'm on the right track though, right?

Michael Guy said...

ANDREW: "Frango" is a divoon chocolate-covered mint sold only at Marshall Field's department store in Chicago. It's legendary. People can't get enough of it here. Personally, at holiday time--I've purchased several hundred dollars worth to ship around the country.

MICHAEL: FYI: there is a 'Frango mint syrup' available. I think one uses it for ice cream. Re: SEVEN YEAR ITCH; as the pending 25-year anniversary looms...think seven minute itch. BTW: if you turn out to be an overweight, soap opera-addicted, post-operative tranny living in Niles I'm going to be a wee bit disappointed with this flirtation. It's the innernets; one can't be too careful.

savante said...

The Starbucks mug will be waiting for you here in malacca :) I love them myself too.. just the perfect heft and weight.

Paul

yaniboy said...

Precious, if Adelaide HAD a Starbucks, I would gladly send a cup winging your way... but alas, poor little Adelaide hasn't succumed to corporate whoredom completely quite yet, and so we are 'Buckless... the first and only time I've enjoyed the 'Buck was on my trip to Melbourne last year... a freakin huge iced something which contained enough caffine to make my eyes do the Looney Tunes thing...

Bodhi said...

Starfucks are evil, and I hate to tell you this Mikey, but there coffee is truly appaling. I don't have a single friend who drinks that s**t. We do have them here in Sydney, but they are not exactly thriving. Basically, they can only be found in a few city locations. The only people going to them are mainly tourists, and those too stupid to know a good coffee if it hit them in the face.

Italian barista's have for many decades set a very high standard in this city, and anything less is simply not even a consideration. So if you think moi is going to set foot in that McDonalds of Beans, you are dreamin' my friend. Viva the cafe culture, down with corporate whoredom!

But the money, and the having, and the going down. Internet boyfriend? Sweetie, you don't even have to ask. Do you take credit card?

Thomas said...

How about a mug from Starbuck's here in Seoul? Koreans love Starbuck's, and most of them are HUGE--three or four floors of couches, cushy chairs, and tables full of Koreans and ex-pats sipping gleefully. This is a relatively new phenomenon here--for years coffee was of the instant kind. So, how about a mug with "Starbuck's 대 한 민 국 (if you can't see those letters, it's the Korean word for "Korea.")

The Other Andrew said...

The closest thing I could get to a half-decent cup of coffee in Hong Kong was Starbucks. Apparently they specialise in half-decent cups of coffee. I'm with Bodes, Starbucks is waaaaay down the list of places in Sydney to get good coffee. Then again, Australians drink very traditional Italian coffee for the most part - strong, rich crema, very dark roast. I think it is largely on account of the big waves of Italian migrants that came to Australia from the '50s onwards, opening traditional coffee bars. Espresso is the norm, with very few places offering drip filter coffee.

Michael said...

Paul, one more reason to get there stat. One for each of us as we read the morning papers all in a tangle?

yaniboy, traveling there is more imminent and likely, and I didn't suspect Adelaide had the Starbs, but I felt the call to shout out to your young hottitude.

...and I hate to tell you this Mikey, but there coffee is truly appaling. Not unlike your spelling, Bodes, but I still love you both. I get a double espresso at Starbucks and always enjoy it. At home I drip the Seattle's Best Organic House Blend and I think it's divine. I understand that Italy is the font from which the good coffee springs, but if Starbucks is serving up a quality bean (of my choosing) from a quality machine, I don't really get how it can be so bad. That said, in my short stint in Italy, I had the cuppa to which you refer every morning from the sprightly, old barista just down the stairs from the villa my friends were renting. The thick crema folded over multiple times, like overlapping hearts. Lovely and delicious.

Thomas, I'd love to come there and pick one up. Korea is on my Wish List, but I have to admit I'm a bit intimidated by the thought of it. Now if I had a local guide.....

yaniboy said...

I felt the call to shout out to your young hottitude

ROFLMAO... yeah... young hottitude... *falls off chair laughing and has a seizure*

The Other Andrew said...

Mikey, this is what we're talking about!

Michael said...

Yeah, I got it.

wingedman said...

I'll make you a deal. Put your abs on the blog and I'll send u a KL mug. Swear to Mary Magdalene.