Wednesday, April 05, 2006

That's me, I'm your handy man

I need to stake a tree. It's a pretty little redbud that I planted (well, had planted) a few years back. Last year it was damaged in an ice storm and now it's a little bent. I heard that you should stake it in the spring when the sap is running and it'll be more pliable. So I'm in the hardware store just now and the staking kits are out of stock. The cute lawn and garden girl, who I'm assuming grew up on a farm based on her biceps and her lat spread, suggested that I just take a length of some old garden hose, wrap it around a sturdy branch, thread some wire through that, and then use an old 2x4 that I have lying around as a stake. Frankly, it was like she was speaking in a foreign tongue. Cracked me up. They're calling me when the kits come in.


Jen said...

Here let me translate from lesbish to English for you: Hire a gardener, pretty boy.

I KID. I'm spending all day today & tomorrow entertaining movers, painters, carpet/flooring installers, gen'l contractors etc. for estimates so I've got hired help on the brain.

Michael Guy said...

This. sounds. like. manual. labor.

Can't you just go buy a straighter tree!?

:: typing softly; $18 buck manicure here ::

not including tip.

Michael said...

Jen, with the lesbonics as with everything else, I know you always have my back. While you're there, could a brotha get exfoliated? So are you sprucing up to sell the house? I've been busy with that today, only if you're coming here, I can't move!

MG, can I call you MG? Sage advice, that, but it seems I'm a little tighter than vous, so I'm down with the manual labor. Plus...errrr...I've never had a mani. There, I said it. It's OK if you look away.

Jen said...

Always happy to rub you down, dear. TOA and/or Bodhi will take care of the rubbing you up, I'm sure. :)

Yeah, I'm here putting the fix-it-up plan together while she's there finding us a place to live. From the reports on today's activity, it looks like we'll have a lease in Bellbrook by Friday or early next week at the latest.

I'm excited to meet you!

Michael said...

TOA and/or Bodhi will take care of the rubbing you up, I'm sure. :)

You'd think, but where are those two faggots when you need them? Hello!?

Bellbrook. Nice. It's a very nice suburb. East side. Lots of new construction. I know you're not necessarily a shopping gay, but they are building one of those pre-fab townlet/malls near there, to open this fall! Did you hear my giddy inhale of anticipation?