Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I wish I was a lesbian then she could be my girlfriend

Folks all over are mourning the final nail being placed in Arrested Development's coffin. I'm weeping and inappropriately clutching the corpse, myself. I'm a BOO HOO mourner. It's quite a spectacle. This little tidbit makes me feel a little better, though. Portia di Rossi, who I find WILDLY hot, finally came out to her 99 y.o. grandmother, who replied:
“I knew you were living with Ellen and all this time I was thinking, I hope that lesbian isn't hitting on my granddaughter!”
link via Queerty


Jen said...

I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I did not choose to come out to my family. My mom read my (very explicit) diaries when I was 16 (lol, I got a lot done that first year) and then outed me to everyone I knew -- including the parents of the girl I was having sex with at the time.

I definitely could have denied it and played the experimentation card because they really did not want me to be queer. I wasn't even totally sure I was yet. I mean, I knew I liked girls but I didn't know how far this whole identity thing was going to go. But the way they all treated me royally pissed me off so I figured: Fuck it, their behavior is atrocious so even if I figure out I'm straight I'll keep telling them I'm queer for another few years just to cheese them off some more.

My grandmother, very Catholic, was no more pleased than anyone else initially, although a bit more inclined to call it "sin" than "sickness". But eventually, she was the coolest person on my dad's side of the family about it. Right before I left Florida, she finally said something to me about how she realized that being a good person and finding good love mattered more than anything else, and the rest was just window dressing, and then she called me a good person and encouraged me to go find good love. It was really sweet and genuine and made me totally forgive her for how awful she was about it for the previous decade.

omg I can't shut up today. My thyroid must be starting to crank high again.

Michael said...

You did tell me that it wasn't by choice and that it wasn't pleasant. Had to be incredibly hard for the kid version of you to go through. The more I know you, though, the more I suspect that you were better equipped than most 16 y.o. SO interesting how your grandmother's perspective changed. Age distills all but what really matters maybe? Did you change her? I'm sure that time was hell for a while, but do you look at it as a gift now? As I sit here I'm wondering what my life would be like if it'd happened to me.

Nobody wants you to shutup.

Jen said...

It was very bad. My mom kicked me out, no one would take the queer kid in, and I wound up homeless for a short period of time. I started life on my own with $2, the clothes on my back, and a book of matches in my pocket. I did not handle it very well.

Better equipped? In some ways, maybe. I've always had this weird wise/naive duality going on and that was more pronounced when I was wee. It may have saved my ass, I may have just been lucky, who knows with these things, right?

But I survived, and as hard as it was I wouldn't trade it for an easier experience because the things I learned were invaluable. I couldn't say that for a while, though. I spent some time feeling very bitter and angry about being screwed out of the Ivy League scholarship I would have otherwise enjoyed -- but I look back on that as a blessing in disguise, too, because I (eventually, after becoming disabled and getting screwed out of college the 2nd time, lol) learned the hard way that what really matters to me ain't about a PhD or the professorship life of publish-or-perish that it would have shuffled me into.

My grandmother changed a lot after the Church screwed her over, so it wasn't exactly all noble on her part, but I give her credit anyway. :) I do think some of it was age and perspective, life lessons learned and all that.

Bodhi said...

M'kay. So let me go this straight (*giggle*, as IF).

Your a gay man, who wants to be a girl, so you can have a hot lesbian, as a girlfriend?


Dude, you have issues.

Reminds me of the time I took Rabbit to his first gay bar, The Imperial Hotel here in Sydney, and I told him your a bi-boy, pretending to be straight, in a gay pub, Dude, you have issues.

Though, as Da Bunny is often want to say, I dont have issues. I am THE issue.

Funny Bunny.

Bodhi said...


Wrong emphasis.

That should read I AM the issue.

Michael said...

OK, maybe I don't wish that happened to me. Damn. I was certainly NOT equipped to be on my own at 16. Hell, I was barely there by 21. That's a harrowing tale you tell. And you wouldn't change it. Isn't that the coolest thing in the world?

Issues? I have a few. She is HAWT though and all with that beguiling accent.