Leap and the net will appear

you've flapped and fluttered against limits long enough
you've been a bird without wings
in a house without doors or windows
compassion builds a door
courage cuts a key
ask,
step off into the air
like a baby hawk
strut proudly into the sunlight
not looking back
take sips of this pure wine being poured
don't mind if you've been given a dirty cup
it's nothing.

Thanks to Landis.

This is the only world we have, and the other guy counts, too!

via

Protect Marriage! Ban Divorce.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Yes, we can!

History is made. I can't wait to see what happens next.

You gotta give 'em HOPE

via towleroad

Feel how it quivers on the brink

I saw this over at Jake's blog (he's totes adorable and is also running the Chicago marathon this weekend...along with his husband, methinks) and couldn't resist posting it up here, even though this blog is existing on fumes lately.

Believe it or not, it's just me

From my little java joint yesterday:

Coffee Shop Lady (CSL): My daughter is SO excited to be a superhero for Halloween. She asked, "What will my superpower be, Mommy?" And I said, "The power of prayer!" ::as she shouts and raises her fist to the heavens::

Cut to me desperately trying not to roll my eyes. Worst superpower ever? And what the hell kind of costume would that be? But then I remembered just how much fun my sister and I used to have playing The Flying Nun and I thought maybe this idea could work.Gosh, I can't count how many times we fashioned elaborate wimples (or, if we were feeling less ambitious, settling for a more demure bath towel headdress for Sr. Bertrille's "novitiate" look) and soared around the backyard.

The key to a room of one's own and a mind without end

One cannot think well,
love well,
sleep well,
if one has not dined well.
Virginia Woolf

So while I may attempt to live more simply in these trying times (goodbye, new car!), I'm taking Ms. Woolf's advice and keeping food, glorious food, as my sole indulgence. (And electronic gadgets, natch.)

Gives ya the shivers, makes ya think, there's so much more to sing

So when I was sitting at home yesterday, eating sausages and watching Wonderfalls on DVD....speaking of....that show is delightful. My only quibble? Could use more Lee Pace. Though in its defense, couldn't everything? Anyway, where was I? Oh, so I'm having the spicy pork products and reveling in the wry humor, completely unaware that one of the most awesome things EVER was happening in New York City, courtesy of one of my bestest friends, the lovely Freakgirl. Take a gander:

Jellus? I know. La Freakgirl and I saw Mr. Cheyenne Jackson in Xanadu last fall (from the stage!) and we've been all aflutter about it ever since. OK, yeah, it's mostly me fluttering, but she plays along and you can hardly tell! And while I'm not immune to the charms of his thighs in satin booty shorts (natch), CheyJack is not just a prime piece. He's the real deal. After casually perusing his website (in a completely non-obsessive, non-stalkery fashion), I found lots to admire about the way he conducts his life. He may be much younger than I (and much prettier, the bitch), but I aspire to REPRESENT like he does.

My undying gratitude to Deb/Freakgirl! Keith Michael.

Watching the sky's first light while the city sleeps

I saw this video over at fourfour and was knocked over by the wave of nostalgia. Why Rich loves/scorns it, I can only guess, but I clearly remember that when this video came out I thought Belinda Carlisle was the most gorgeous creature on earth. OK, I still do. Look at her (especially with Marilyn-inspired eyes)! I don't remember the year (and I'm too tired to look it up), but I'm betting I taped this song off the radio onto a cassette. And probably imitated her self-conscious arm movements while dancing by myself.

It's embarrassing. Srsly.

Like McCain's ads don't make you cringe? I can hardly stand to watch this previously respected man stoop to this level of discourse. It's nothing but lies and obfuscation. I worry (even more) for this country if it works. I'm glad they are FINALLY bluntly calling him on it.

PS Palin lied AGAIN today, claiming she said, "Thanks, but no thanks" to Congressinal funding of the Bridge to Nowhere. This claim has been debunked, but she continues to repeat the lie.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!

That's Thoreau. Over the last year I've drawn inspiration from his mandate to simplify. Simplify! But it's been almost a year since I sold my house and most of my possessions, and now I've settled into some semblance of a comfortable existence again. But stagnant. So I'm looking to him (and you!) for more inspiration.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

I reflected over the LONG relatively uneventful weekend, and I'm committed to making some concrete steps this week. Call me out on it if I don't, won't you?


Let's see if I can hold myself back from getting all Little Edie on your asses tomorrow with the Frost poem quoting. I make no promises.

Something is stirring, shifting ground, it's just begun

I've never been more moved or inspired by a political speech. We can't go back.

Let's cut to the chase

ABC is adding these two series to its 2008-09 lineup:

Castle, a comedic crime drama about mystery writer Nick Castle.

Cupid, a romantic dramedy featuring Trevor, a character who might just be a Roman god of love.

Never mind the ridiculousness of "comedic crime drama" and "romantic dramedy," these don't sound particularly appealing as stated, do they? Well, that's because I've left out the four most important words: Nathan, Fillion, Bobby, and Cannavale. Yeah, I'll be tuning in, too.

A chair is just a chair, unless someone is sitting there

I guess there's only so much you can do with a man's clothes, but I have to admit I'm disappointed with the daily videos I've been receiving from GQ Rules (How To Become A Well-Dressed Rebel In 30 Days). I guess I'm only a week in, so it's probably too early to call, but so far we have the following:

1. Wear a suit, don't look like one. Breaking up suits always sounds good, but how many times have you seen it done well? TOUGH to carry off, I think. And it's probably an indictment of my life, but the occasions to even consider it don't seem to pop up.

2. Dress to a T. Where they put a t-shirt....you guessed it....with a suit.

3. Put a Lid on It. People who look fabulous in hats x me. That's a Venn diagram with no intersection.

4. Rethink Your Leather Jacket. Buy one with a closer fit, and wear it....like a suit jacket. Lemme guess. Pair it with a t?

5. Get Some Color. This one I love because it's a lesson I have slowly learned over the years, I really enjoy the way Glenn O'Brien mixes his pops of color, and I'm also enamored of his perpetually snarky expression. Did he say his jacket was lined with naked lady?

6. Dress Up Your Denim. Hmmm, wonder how they'll do that? With a suit jacket maybe? Fer chrissake.

7. Wear It On Your Chest. Finally, another one to savor. I'm completely infatuated with Mad Men right now, so pocket squares are pinging my radar. I'm SO wearing one next time I need to wear a suit. Which, you know, Grandma turned 93 last week, so any time. That would be a crisply folded white one, but the colored ones in this video are SMASHING.

8. Go Vest, Young Man. A new week, another "break up your suit" tip. Not sure I can pull this off, but the video is worth it for all the stills of the lovely James McAvoy rocking vests and cocky expressions.

So I guess these are probably good tips, if a little repetitive. It'll be interesting (?) to see how they come up with 22 more "rules."

Where is that damn EJECT button?

I actively avoid talking about politics with clients. Some things I learn. Sometimes, despite all my frantic steering, the conversation ends with a wreck like this:

Dude: Barack Obama is not the man.
Me: O RLY?
Dude: And it's not that....I mean, I'd vote for Colin Powell.
Me: Um. OK.
Dude: Plus, have people already forgotten 9/11?
Me: What do you mean?
Dude: Well, he was mostly raised in the Middle East.
Me: Actually, no, he wasn't.
Dude: Either way, he's still a Muslim.
Me: So you think we'll get rain today?

I feel guilty about it, but sometimes I'm just too tired to go on.

Look, I'm not trying to feel superior to this guy, or even mock his political affiliations. Believe what you want to believe, but if you can't be bothered to get INFORMED, then shut up. Is it too much to ask that you UNDERSTAND why you believe something? It's like, I'm not gonna suddenly start talking about football. Like that.

That would be perfection

Oh Padma. I won't even insult her with a cliche like "I'd switch sides for her." No need. Even as I stay gayer than a tree full of monkeys, I'd still give my left nut to do her. You heard me. I'd give Esteban. My favorite.

And for those who just can't cotton to a little ON GIRL action, I'll offer the silver and bronze medalists on horizontal bar from last night's apparatus competition in Beijing. Germany's Fabien Hambuechen seems sincere in his congratulations to US gymnast Jonathan Horton, no? Two words: Pocket rockets. (via)

It feels like home to me

I was talking to Mom this weekend, and I mentioned some of the people I'd done my training run with Sunday morning. Specifically, we were discussing a local business owner and the following exchange occurred:

Mom: I'm really surprised he has time for marathon training.
Me: What do you mean?
Mom: Well, he has a very successful business and he's working all the time.
Me: What about me?
Mom: What about you?

Oh, I think you made your point, John

The one about my sister's left tater

Baby sister's mams are in the pink! I figured I should update everyone since you were so thoughtful with the well wishes. B-E-N-I-G-N.

Me: So is it tender? How long is the incision?
She: Not tender. For once I'm glad my boobs are kinda numb. And the incision is right next to the nipple, so it sort of blends in.
Me: So no one will notice?
She: No, Keith*, I don't think all the people who look at my nipples will notice.


*She calls me "Keith."

There's nothing worse, I'm telling you

Y'all, I've been invited to a Grey Gardens Garden Party! I know. It's all I can do to get anything done since. I'm supposed to WORK when I'm still undecided about my outfit? The party is in October, so I'm leaning toward going as STAUNCH Edie. Seems right for fall, plus I already have the blue bath towel/head scarf, and the gold brooch (natch). Though I don't have that dress, military-style is still around for fall, right? I should be able to pick up something. This is gonna be the shit. S-H-I-T!

Shake, shake, shake...shake, shake, shake...shake your.....

Boy howdy I've been eating a lot this week. Sure, I'm up to about 40 miles/week with the marathon training, so I need to refuel, but it still comes down to CALORIES IN v. CALORIES OUT. LOTS of calories in, my friends. I can feel it around the middle, where I always feel it. Bright side, my arms and legs stay girlishly thin, so I can still get away with a saucy sleeveless summer dress (a few more weeks!), as long as it's not too tailored in the middle. Where was I? Oh yeah, I need to reign myself in a little.

I wonder if mom still has that Vitamaster unit in her basement somewhere? Did you know you can SHAKE the cellulite right off?That brings back memories. I really enjoyed that vibrating belt as a kid, though I didn't fully understand why.

Lovely as a summer day

My baby sister, who is the cool, witty, and pretty version of me, and the one I love the most in this world, is having a stressful day today due to medical issues. I don't know if you believe in prayer or positive energy or whatever (I mostly don't), so I hope it's not disingenuous of me to ask you to, ummmm, think of her fondly today. She really is awesome. You'd love her. Totes worth a moment of your time. Much obliged.

I love the smell of chlorine in the morning

Because I accept (but don't understand) that not everyone will love the early 60s smoky environs of Sterling-Cooper, I offer my other current television obsession for your viewing pleasure: the men of Olympic water polo.No, I don't know if they are active members of the American team. Nor do I care.These hale and hearty lads are from Australia.If you've been watching (the underwater cameras!), you know it gets rough in there. And, ahhh, the Greeks, who, by all appearances, are living up to their reputation.All in a day's work.

Somewhere there's a pregnant girl floating in a lake

Has it really been a month? SO much has happened, lambs, but I've been in a blogging funk. There must be some reason, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Would you mind? Putting your finger on it, I mean. Am I Twitterpated, Bambi-stizz, as Landis suggests? I'll mull it over and get back to you. MEANWHILE, you should totes head over to Too Much Free Time and check out my new gig recapping Mad Men. Don't even tell me you're not watching it. Besides being one of the most visually arresting things on television, the writing is fantastic, and the outfits...oh, the outfits. I'm tearing up thinking about the blue dress Joan was wearing this week. If it hadn't taken me so long to accept my own waifish figure, I'd be coveting the hell out of her astounding hourglass shape. Ummm, why are you still here? Get over there, why don't you? Oh, and meet my queen, Miss Joan Holloway (Christina Hendricks):

The one thing I know is that love is all there is

Thanks, Andrew!

Relax your neck and breath through your nose

And we're not talking about my yoga practice here, kids. Jay Brannan is just about the cutest fucking thing walking Bob's green earth. Agreed? Now you're gonna pair him up with Margaret Cho for an impromptu song about giving head? I can die now. This is the best thing I've seen in a long time. I know y'all probably saw this on Towleroad already, but I needed to have it inside me, and putting it in my blog will have to do. (via)

txt exchange

ME: So how far did u run?
THUG: U got the rong numba dead ass
ME: kthnx XOXO yours, dead ass

Seems like a great idea, but srsly?

I'm off to Kroger. Have you seen their gift card promotion? If I buy a gift card, they add 10% to the value. You can buy them for $300, $600, or $1200. So, yeah, an instant 10% return on your money is a good deal, but do people really do this? Yes, if you're my parents. They bought a $1200 card and are presently trying to figure out if they can get around the "one/household" limit to buy another one. I didn't inherit that particular gene from them. So much bother! This is why I need a husband with good financial sense. Is that so much to ask? Also, he should cook and smell just right. And be receptive.

My poll

Remember when I used to post weekly pictures of hot guys (Meat Friday!) and hot girls (Pie Wednesday!) and then you all would come around and say "Ewwww" and "Srsly?" and "You're high" and stuff like that? Good times, weren't they? This is something different. I saw this model, Pelle, on Queerty just now and wondered which iteration people would find most attractive. Let's rate Pelle in descending order of fuckitude, shall we? Chime in if you're so disposed. Only if you're just going to say he's gross in all of them and you wouldn't fuck any of him, go lie somewhere else, Deceitful.

Pelle A

Pelle B

Pelle C


You think this is an age progression, or just styled that way?

I feel pretty and witty and gay

There's a Trumpian quality to my hair today. I'm tempted to blame a certain blogger, but it's really been a confluence of events that have left me with this cotton candy-esque situation on my head. I'm normally in for the close-cropped cut every 3 weeks, but Mr. Alan, my hair dude, was busy so I waited four. Then, the aforementioned blogger suggested a BEAUTY DAY, and I was powerless to refuse (although, srsly, I don't think he/she can get any prettier). But another two weeks?! A man's hair should never need to be arranged. Style tip.

ADDED: In other blogger-related news, one of my oldest and dearest and youngest-looking friends suggested that I use Burt's Bees Lip Balm on my nipples when I complained of some post-run chafing. I can't thank him enough. No more chafing (I actually had a scab on Miguel!), and as an added bonus, there's a hint of mint. Let me tell you, it's surprisingly invigorating every time they catch a breeze. Thanks, Young MC!

And I'll leave you with a gratuitous nipple shot of some lad infinitely more blessed of torso than I.

Meals On Wheels

Feeling peckish? Yes, I understand this was not the safest way to navigate a highway construction zone, but there are few things that say SUMMER (or SEXY) to me more than a hot biker. Maybe two hot bikers? On the same bike! Unnnggggghhhhh. The grail. But this is Ohio, so you're as likely to see that as the actual grail.

PS He laughed when he passed me back. Highlight of a dark day. God, I'm so hard up.

That really hurt, Charlie!

I know, but it's the only place we haven't looked!

We desperately need blood! Oh, but not yours.

I'm reposting this picture from Towleroad because this drives me crazy. Crazy enough that I've considered lying about my "activities" and donating. I haven't yet. Instead I cringe when I see the blood drive, as I walk on by holding onto all my pints of O neg.

These posters were plastered around Portland, ME to highlight how ridiculous this policy is.

You make my slacks a little tight, and you may unfasten them if you like

I haven't blogged since before my vacation. What? Oh, yeah, I went to Florida for some R&R and bonding time with my sister/sister's issue. I'm easing back online with something exceedingly easy on the eyes. Luke! I'd be your daddy.

Running on empty

Help!!!!! Are there any marathon runners reading this? I'm training for the Chicago Marathon, as I've mentioned. I did 14 miles on Sunday morning and it KICKED. MY. ASS. Now this is not my first marathon, mind you, but it was ten years ago that I last did it. So, yeah, I guess I can't expect it to be as easy, but I also didn't expect it to be this hard. I ran 12 a few weeks ago and that went well, and I fully expect some bad days, because that's just how it goes, but yesterday morning when I finished, I felt like I couldn't take another step. Then I napped most of the afternoon and I'm STILL tired today. Damn. I thought I was in good shape. If you ARE a runner, do you have any advice? What I'm thinking is that I need to work on how I'm drinking/eating while running, because the first 10 miles were actually fine. It's the last four that killed me. Maybe I need to eat more as I go (I've used Gu and Clif Shot Blocks)? Yesterday I had one Gu and some water at about 6 miles......and then that was it. Hmmm, now that I type that, I realize that's probably not enough, but when I was 32 (WAY BACK WHEN), I think I had one Gu for the whole fucking marathon. Although, I'll grant you that I had some Gatorade every third mile. Hmmmm. Anyway. If you have any thoughts, I'd be happy to hear them.

You know you love me. XOXO

SPOTTED: E and C getting cozy in a downtown bar. Careful, C, you don't think E will take that lying down, do you? (Actually, that's exactly how I picture E taking it.)

But seriously, I don't care who they do sex to, I just think they make a pretty picture. And, yes, I've recently fallen completely and madly in love with Gossip Girl, but you didn't hear that from me. XOXO

Silver lining

You're exceedingly difficult to deal with, but I always walk away from our encounters with my self-esteem boosted, because I figure, at least I'm not smelly AND boring. So, thanks, lady.

Hit me with your best shot

Angelina Jolie is packing heat, and she's going to show James McAvoy how to load a phallic pistol and shoot his wad. What's not to like?

That's the opening of Peter Travers' review of the new Angelina Jolie flick, Wanted, and it's a big part of why he's one of my favorite movie critics. You should check out the rest of his take on it. It sounds like Wanted has elements of La Femme Nikita, only in this case, la femme is la James McAvoy. I think I'll see it today. Mmmm, McAvoy.

ADDED: I did catch Wanted this afternoon. See it! Just ignore the chasmic plot holes, strap yourself in, and enjoy the wild, violent, funny ride while in the capable hands of the charming and beautiful James McAvoy. Thank me (and Peter Travers) later.

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrl!

Another day at Wimbledon, another upset. Maria Sharapova went down to her 154th ranked countrywoman, Alla Kudryavtseva, yesterday. No big deal, as I'm not a huge Sharapova fan, but this match did provide my favorite tennis press conference quote of the week (the year? ever?). Sharapova debuted this daring look at the start of the fortnight.I say daring because this is the hallowed halls of tradition we're talking about. Wimbledon. Shorts! Tuxedo-styled shirt! Why, it's positively androgynous. Anyway, here's a choice tidbit from Kurdyavtseva after the match:

I don't like her outfit. It's a little too much of everything. ...It was one of the motivations to beat her.

You don't hear that in NASCAR.

Oh, and Andy Roddick lost as well, which I will use as an excuse to post a picture of him shirtless.

NO! la

My boy Novak (Nola) Djokovic went out EARLY over at Wimbledon, falling to former #1 Marat Safin yesterday. Damn. Love that kid. Although, Safin is quite the specimen. I once ran into him at the Cincinnati tournament as he was walking back from a practice court. Shirtless.

That reminds me. I need to buy US Open tickets.

Not as good as the Mile High Club, but still....

As of today, I'm in the 1000 Mile Club at Nike+. I didn't run with the Nike+ system every time until I started the marathon training. I'm using a training program from the Nike site, so I can upload my runs to the site and keep track of things like total mileage and average pace. SEEING the progress helps, never mind the gadgety, number crunchy goodness.

And he'll be big and strong, the man I love

Are you gonna try to tell me he isn't one of the sexiest things you've ever seen? Save your breath. He walked the runway for dsquared2 (they have the sexiest shows!) in Milan.

via towleroad

ADDED: I think this answers Jason's question in the comments.

And this is really good, non?

Through it all she offers me protection

I had a lady in my office this morning who was praising her angels. "There were angels!" she practically cried when I walked into the room. She'd been hit by a semi and lived to tell the tale, and she was very grateful to her guardian angels. Me, I'd be pissed if my guardian angel let me get hit by a truck. Bitch better be paying better attention than that.

Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

I'm straight, but I like dick

More than 90 percent of Americans -- including one in five people who say they are atheists -- believe in God or a universal power, and more than half pray at least once a day, according to results of a poll released today that takes an in-depth look at Americans' religious beliefs.

This is from a Washington Post article about America and religion. Ummm, I'm not sure what it says on Wikipedia, but aren't 20% of those "atheists" a little confused?

Oh, no, you're great. It's not you, it's me

They started 8 Minute Dating at a bar nearby. I thought it would be nice if they did 8 Minute Gay Dating, but then I realized that's the same as Regular Gay Dating.

But I look at your pants and I need a kiss

I'm so horny my teeth hurt.

I have a soft spot for men wielding cutlery

Don't forget the Top Chef Reunion is on tonight at 10EST on BRAVO. Mmmm, Colicchio.

Mazel, California Queers

Thanks to mrpeenee for the link.

ADDED: Oh, gosh. I had to add one more shot, this one captured by NYT photographer Monica Almeida of Tori and Kate Kuykendall and daughter Zadia. I'm kvelling! via

I'm faking it until I'm pseudo-making it

• How great was the Tony Awards last night? If this clip with the Xanadu cast doesn't make you want to rush out and see it, what will? Not for nothing do they call it children's theater for 40 year old gay men. Color my ass/demographic targeted.
• More later. I have to work/feign work for a bit.
• Oh, wait. For my birthday, La Freakgirl sent me When You Are Engulfed In Flames (how sweet is she?), the latest from my boo, David Sedaris. Some reviews have him mellowing, but I think his wit is as pointed as ever (In the closet I put on a sweater some half-blind child was pain ten sesame seeds to make), and I LOL on practically every page. I've seen him read twice now, and I think that informs my experience of the book. It's his voice in my head as I read it.
• What a difference a week makes. Humidity was down, heat was down, miles were down (only 12!) and my Sunday long run went swimmingly. So comfy and cocky was I that I ran the last five miles much faster than the first seven. Runs like that keep my motivation up, and I soldier on.
  
• The disk du jour is Alanis's new one, Flavors of Entanglement. I wouldn't call myself an acolyte, but I've been playing it over and over for days, thanks to another lovely who sent it for my birthday. There are times that I'm annoyed by her lyrics (OK, mostly her phrasing of them), but there's no denying the frank honesty in her songs, and, good grief, they seep in. I think this is some of her best stuff.
• To sum up, two of three birthday presents I received this year came from people I've met on the internet. That should tell you what an asshole I am in real life.
  

Like Pac, all eyes on me

And such dreamy blue eyes that a man like me could drown in them. Just when I think I can't love Anderson Cooper any more, he's on My Life on the D-List and he's so sweet and giggly and totes adorable and OMG can't I please just take care of him? I finished his book, Dispatches From The Edge, this week. Worth a read. It's made me think of things. See what he does? Now he's making me THINK deeper thoughts? PONDER even? Oh, Andy.

PS? When you google image AC, you get a disturbing picture of him gagged, trussed up and naked from the waist down, and I'll not dignify it further, other than, you know, just telling you how and where to find it.