Thursday, November 10, 2005

Cuz there's no one left to finger, there's no one here to blame

I'm not easily shocked, but I had some interesting shit drop in my email INBOX on Monday. Here's the backstory. There's this dude who I've known for some years now. We met online. No, no, it wasn't all nasty. No comparing dick stats and whatnot. No e-wanking. He made me laugh, and I tried desperately, clownishly, to make him laugh, too. You know, like I do. He's a cool guy. We were flirty, but he's in a longterm relationship, albeit a rocky one, so that was it. It was a friendship. Don't taint the beauty of it, bitches. We met for coffee a few times. Anyway, we kept in touch sporadically through the last several years, but it wasn't uncommon for months to go by between shouts. If one emailed, though, the other would respond. So, when he was all non-responsive to my high-larious missive in October, I was soon firing off another note, and only about half the offence was feigned. Again, silence. Huh? Wha? Bitch, you better not EVEN write back now, cuz there ain't no excuse good enough. You know I was all in my Glenn Close I will not be ignored crazy rabbit boilin' voice. So his reply finally showed up on Monday. About that 'no excuse good enough'? Ummm....never mind. Here's a snippet, edited to preserve his anonymity:

hey you! So seldom in life do we haVE a rock solid xcuse but I AVE one today. would you believe I had brain surgery on X-XX-XX. Emergency brain surgery at that!!!

Over a month later now. I have been home since mid Oct and today is the first day I checked my email.Chocked?? Yeah me too when I found out. I have very little memory of that event or the weeks that followed.
OH!! My condition no??? My vision is fucked up. The surgery was in my "vision area" of mybrain. Other than the vision and some short term memory issues, all else is well. Whew!!!

Sorry bout the typing BITCH!!!!

Crazy, huh? You should know that his spelling was never great, but otherwise he was fairly meticulous in his email. You know, normal sentence construction AND near coherence. Nothing like this wild garble. I was laughing and crying at the same time as I read this, both from relief/release. I can feel him behind those words, but for now at least, he's altered. Our relationship has been 90% online. It doesn't matter. I love him just the same, and it's been satisfying. Times like these, though, I wish he wasn't 300 miles away and that we were more than electronically linked. OK, I'm gonna get maudlin right now and you are just going to shut the hell up about it. Kapish? Hug someone you love tonight. Like now. No, not like that, really love on 'em.

This is prolly it for me this week, kiddies, because I leave in the morning. Hence the post title. Get your fingerin' in now, people, because I'm about to start the frantic last minute packing like I always do when I travel and you do not want your precious digits anywhere near me once that starts.


The Other Andrew said...

"Get your fingerin' in now, people,..."

You'll be gone for a while, so I'm just gonna work a couple of fingers in, m'kay? 3 max.

But seriously, gonna miss you even if it is only for a few days. Dependency is a bitch. I want you to have a really fantastic time my friend. Shopping, cocktails, Broadway, maybe even a bit of 'trouser action', whatever your heart desires.

Michael said...

If one of them is the pinkie, fine.

Thanks, homes, I'm sure I'll have a great time. I'll soak it all in, the urban vibe I crave. I'll act teh fool, smile and play.

Bodhi said...

I'm going into Mikey withdrawals already just thinking 'bout you leaving :-(

But don't worry honey, I be sure to slip it back in soon enough ;-)

Oo ah oo ah oo oo, Kitty
Tell us about the boy
From New York City
Oo ah oo ah come on, Kitty
Tell us about the boy
From New York City

He's kinda tall
He's really fine, yeah, yeah,
Someday I hope to make him
mine, all mine yeah, yeah

And he's neat and oh, so sweet,
and the way he looked at me just
Swept me off my feet
Yeah, yeah ..

Michael said...

That's right, the withdrawal has its merits, doesn't it?
Miss youse back.

OK, it's 9P here and I still have yet to begin packing. I have read 'Details' cover to cover. And I've flossed.

luscious loulou said...

You can still hear him, Michael. That got to me so I hugged my dog. He took it in the spirit, even though I woke him.

So Details.

I've a question for y'all. (I can use that contraction, right?) Okay. I still have my Jan/Feb 2003 Details with Colin on the front. He's lookin at me from my ultrasuede ottoman with his bottom lip between his teeth. "Have you had sex with Colin Farrell yet?" is the headline. The pics of him with his tats. ::shivver:: Not quite up to Frederic's bod, but still it's Colin lounging moodily in a darkened room.

I've been pondering whether to purge this in "The Great Magazine Purge of Ought Five". I also found an old Elle D├ęcor with Fernando Bengoechea … Nate's darling partner. I feel kind of like I should keep it in memory of him but that's kind of silly, isn't it? This is of course, is one reason why I need to purge. I keep things for the oddest rationalisations. Very odd.

Plus do "grown-ups" keep magazines for the pictures. Is this done? Thank you for your support in this time of confusion.

And as I've stated elsewere, Monsieur Connoisseur, play safe, stay safe. And you're going to be devoured by any man with good taste and and eye for the literate yet cruisin' man about town. Go have a steam.


Michael said...

loulou, this one says: Colin Farrell drinks, smokes and screws--and then drinks some more.

I completely get saving magazines. When I sort and toss, I'll sneak some hotness through my own stringent purge rules. That's right. I defy myself. Then comes the inevitable self-flagellation, because, well, I deserve it, don't you think?

May I say that I can't stop imagining those cashmere panties?

I hope you're right about the devouring. I'm practicing my most approachable expression to use as the default for this weekend.

Michael said...

I love the picture with this post.

Bodhi said...

Let me put it this way, sweetness, I still have every single copy of DNA that I have ever purchased. Yah, thats every one, people! There they all stand lined up all neatly in my bedroom, month by month in numeric order (starting from oldest at the back to the newest at the front) like a virtual treaure trove of visual hotness for quicky and easy reference.

So, for example, No - I would never toss Colin. Ummm. OK. Let me rephrase that. I would never throw out a magazine that had said hot pictures of tattooed moody irish goodness. Of course I would toss the hottie in a nanosecond, or do any number of other sexual proclivities. But I digress ...

Grown-ups definately keep magazines for the pictures. Aricles might be well and truly read and now forsaken, but this is most certainly done. M'kay. In fact they can be referred to and done quite frequently, if so desired. Well, at least for a long as the pages don't annoyingly start to stick together. Ummm ... errr ... I mean for as long as one can appreciate the visual artistry and beauty of the human form. Yah, thats it.

So collect away, leave the purging to the supermodels, and enjoy Colin and (do you hear the drums ...) Fernando for years to come.


The Other Andrew said...

I have a couple of magazines I always keep. I switched from Wallpaper* to Surface magazine a year or two back, and have kept them all. Kept all my Martha Stewart Livings (shut up, bitches), likewise U.S. Elle Decor mags and UK Home Beautiful. Used to have a major magazine 'habit' but I've wound it back to just 2-3 a month. Mostly design mags, with the rare Architectural Digest or World Of Interiors if it has something beyond fab in it. Mags are really expensive in OZ, because of freight etc. Oddly, per capita we buy more than any other country (same for books). Colour us literate.

freakgirl said...

I'll miss you so, even though you'll only be 30 minutes away! Oh, cruel cruel fate.

Bodhi said...

Oh my Brad, you used to collect Wallpaper* as well until a year or two back?

No way, girlfriend. So did I! Fashion, architecture, design, travel, food. So much to lurve, sooo fab. Once again, I think our gay stars are shining very bright indeed.

My lips are sealed on Martha (ewww, why does that just sound sooo wrong). No comment, m'kay. I just hope too Brad that the pages are not stuck on those particular periodicals ..

wingedman said...

Augh!! I just had to read this on a sunday didn't I? Anyway enjoy your trip and don't forget mobile bloggin'!

BTW talking about fingering, what do you call a lesbian with thick fingers?

A: Well-endowed.

luscious loulou said...

I love your photo on this thread, Michael. It's been killing me all weekend until last night right before I dropped off….

Pilobolus! That dance company with all those bodies wrapping around each other. That's what it reminds me of. I wonder if Pilobolus is still around? Or if I've lost you now. Whoooooo? :P

luscious loulou said...

Thanks guys. I feel so very vindicated in my predilection for stockpiling eye candy & re the sticky thing, hah! So it's not just me. Again. I feel not so alone.

Colin: Vanity Fair July 2002 - that's the one with the bodacious tats, plus an article on surfers (Laird Hamilton looking all butch and fierce) and with group bum pictures, taut tanned bum pics. ::sigh:: I rushed to rescue it from the blue bag (magazine recycle) on the deck (we had a rainstorm last night!). Little damp 'round the edges but it'll heal.

Martha subscriber from day one, here. Before Martha, I thought I was the only one who had so many creative interests…. But we know now that's it's really her editorial staff who have these interests, right?

I had a Five yes Five-year subscription at value price of $90 bucks or something close. & Elle Decor/Style/ and a coupla' others(okay, Men's Health, okay?)'Twas a deal through Publisher's Clearing House and I absorbed them every month for a couple of years but then I got very far behind. I began working in Advertising which was magazine nirvana: a Plethora of every magazine known to mankind. Architecture, design, travel, LA Style.

Yes, Andrew (now do not weep, petal) I have chucked 'em all (thrift store given mostly, I mean) except for some tear-outs, mostly beautiful pics - LA style oooh, a few recipes: coconut cupcakes/herb chickenmmmmmm & interesting ways to sew supple leather. That last one has given me some fab ideas for using lambskin. Yep. I've put those pages in their own clear plastic 3-hole page... in a binder.

So bodhi, numeric order DNA? ::sigh:: LIke I need more. Okay, I need.

Michael: self-flagellation. Yum. Curse my wild imagination. mmmm 2(x)ist bunched
'round your ankles. Cursssssessss!!!