The dark cloud has passed, so I'm gonna commence with the Yayin'. Just remember, as always, I'm a man of simple tastes and simple pleasures. I'm trying to stick with FIVE, in a small nod to a small friend.
1. I've realized that although I'm not likely to have abs by Christmas, all the focus on good diet and working out has left me with my pick of the skinny end of my closet. Yay! Still, the abs are most resistant (maybe age?), so you're not likely to get the pics I promised, bitches. That reminds me. Sara, are you still around these parts?
2. Just when I was almost over Madge's new single, finding an addictive mash-up of Hung Up with MIA's URAQT is a big Yay!
3. Starting to get riled up over the impending blowing of the sibling wad all over Times Square with my sisters makes me get wit the Yay!
4. My sweet, sweet nephew has made it to the State cross country meet this weekend. This, too, makes me go Yay! He's the kindest guy you'll ever come across. His big sister is a former national class high school runner and he's always running in that long shadow. So happy for him to get his chance in the sun.
5. Getting schooled today by freakgirl's chuck about the efficacy (and charms) of the neti pot is a Yay. Is there any fresher feeling than having all your orifi douched, guys? I'm askin'.
Boy, that was easy. I didn't even get to a few I had in mind. Should I throw them in now anyway? I'm gonna, because I'm all accentuatin' the positive right now, muthafuckas. First, if you haven't tried the Honey Crisp apple yet, run, don't walk, to your local grocer and pick up a few. I'm a Fuji man as a rule, but these little darlins are the crispiest, crunchiest apples you have ever eaten. Seriously, you bite into it and you swear there must be a tiny micro-chip inside making a cartoonish apple biting sound effect. Also they are a pleasant blend of tart and sweet and spicy, like my beloved Fujis. Yay! Finally, today at work I ran into this flirty, flirty dude who's got a body and a smell that'll dampen your shorts. I hadn't seen him in a year or two. He straight, but he loves to play with me for some reason. He's handsy and what hands! Both soft and calloused and also....fucking huge! Playing with a great looking, great smelling guy with outsized hands, even if he's straight and it's going nowhere, can still be a Yay, peeps!
ADDED: I had all kinds of grand life changing plans for myself in 2005, but it looks like it'll be going down in my annals as the Year I Fell In Love With Gorgonzola. Yay? That's right. I have annals.