When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I was AWOL for a week, loathe to whine again. For whatever reason, I find it hard to hide on here, so whenever I tried to post, it's the waaah that came out. I've only been doing this for a few months and how many times have I posted about feeling caged? Five? Ten? So, here I am anyway. If Pipedreams is me, then it can't be only bon mots and boners. Sure, that's like 95% of me, but there's a bit more. Surf away now, or explore my same old wound again.
So, I had an incredible time in New York. I got on fiercely well with my family and their friends. Sure, as I feared, there was lots of talk of kids and daycare and soccer practice and dance recitals, but as it turns out, there was also a quiet and clear-skinned lawyer in our merry band, 30something and single with an Alabama accent that could buckle your knees. And he loves architecture. And he could use a little style makeover (in my land, that last bit is a good thing). Mmmmmm. We all moved around the city, folks on a mission, and packed in as much as we could. The weather was gorgeous, the streets bustling, the food excellent, the show surprisingly brilliant, and the company giddy with the energy of all of it. So why did I come back so down? Guess. You know the feeling, don't you? Everything feels right and good and happy and true and then, courtesy of a quick cab ride and separate airport terminals, it's all gone in a few minutes and you're back to your sleepy non-fabulous burg with your job where you pretend to be content. I know, I know. I have a good life. Whatever limitations exist in it, I've placed on myself. So shut the fuck up and get on with it and all that. Still, this week I was overwhelmed by the abrupt shift from what I need to what I have. Trite as it is, there was waves of it crashing down. Ummmm...thanks for listening. I swear it'll be back to riffing on underpants and near constant allusions to genitalia in a just a moment. 95%, remember?
Oh, and YES, I did use a line from one of Disney's heroines to title this post. Shutup. Mulan is a hot bitch.
ADDED: It didn't help my melancholy that I missed, by just a few scant days, Linda Eder doing Garland at Carnegie Hall. And I don't know if you're ever around her Geekboy, but that is VERY gay, no matter how you slice it.