Sunday, November 20, 2005

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I was AWOL for a week, loathe to whine again. For whatever reason, I find it hard to hide on here, so whenever I tried to post, it's the waaah that came out. I've only been doing this for a few months and how many times have I posted about feeling caged? Five? Ten? So, here I am anyway. If Pipedreams is me, then it can't be only bon mots and boners. Sure, that's like 95% of me, but there's a bit more. Surf away now, or explore my same old wound again.
So, I had an incredible time in New York. I got on fiercely well with my family and their friends. Sure, as I feared, there was lots of talk of kids and daycare and soccer practice and dance recitals, but as it turns out, there was also a quiet and clear-skinned lawyer in our merry band, 30something and single with an Alabama accent that could buckle your knees. And he loves architecture. And he could use a little style makeover (in my land, that last bit is a good thing). Mmmmmm. We all moved around the city, folks on a mission, and packed in as much as we could. The weather was gorgeous, the streets bustling, the food excellent, the show surprisingly brilliant, and the company giddy with the energy of all of it. So why did I come back so down? Guess. You know the feeling, don't you? Everything feels right and good and happy and true and then, courtesy of a quick cab ride and separate airport terminals, it's all gone in a few minutes and you're back to your sleepy non-fabulous burg with your job where you pretend to be content. I know, I know. I have a good life. Whatever limitations exist in it, I've placed on myself. So shut the fuck up and get on with it and all that. Still, this week I was overwhelmed by the abrupt shift from what I need to what I have. Trite as it is, there was waves of it crashing down. Ummmm...thanks for listening. I swear it'll be back to riffing on underpants and near constant allusions to genitalia in a just a moment. 95%, remember?
Oh, and YES, I did use a line from one of Disney's heroines to title this post. Shutup. Mulan is a hot bitch.
ADDED: It didn't help my melancholy that I missed, by just a few scant days, Linda Eder doing Garland at Carnegie Hall. And I don't know if you're ever around her Geekboy, but that is VERY gay, no matter how you slice it.

19 comments:

The Other Andrew said...

This isn't whining, you call this whining?! Sounds more like sharing to me. :-) Your wit and charm were missed my friend.

Sorry to hear you felt flat on your return to Bumfuck. I always thought Bumfuck would be a fun place to be...

Would it help if we talked about shoes?

*big smooch*

Michael said...

Well, maybe talking about man couples walking the streets in smart shoes. That might help.

The Other Andrew said...

I bought new shoes the other day, and I got some 'trouser action' over the weekend and a cool new haircut (kind of a short and subtle slightly mohawk/mullet style, a bit 'rockstar').

Helping?

Michael said...

OMG, you got a fauxhawk?! Yes, that helps.

The Other Andrew said...

Kinda, sorta. I know it's a look that's on it's way to 'over' but why risk losing my Late Adopter moniker now, right? It's pretty subtle - mama's a bit old and tired to start dressin' up like them youngin's. I'm liking it.

New shoes, new haircut, touch of blonde... does wonders for one's outlook.

Michael said...

And frosting on top!? You go, mama.
I just love you sometimes.

The Other Andrew said...

I love me too, sometimes!

My natural colour fluctuates between dark blonde and light ash brown, depending on the time of year. Lightens up naturally in Summer. I got some blonde and a slightly coppery colour last time I had a cut, there's still plenty of it there.

Maybe that's why I'm having more fun?

Michael said...

I've never coloured my hair, but have been accused of it. Lots of shades in there from brown to blonde to red and now, sadly, much grey.

Jen said...

I missed you so much it hurt. (But I kinda like that, so it's all good.) Glad you're back, sorry about the melancholy, wishing you some surprisingly hot anonymous sex in your near future.

Bodhi said...

...wishing you some surprisingly hot anonymous sex in your near future.

"Thanks, that was great. OK, you can leave now".

[Looks up]

"Oh. Mikey, honey, I missed you too, sweetie darling sweetie".

;-)

The Other Andrew said...

Ooooh Mike, you are too good to me 'coloured'! You're spelling just like an English speaker! :-P

I have some red tinges, and now a few strands of grey sadly, in my goatee. If that's any consolation.

Oh, and what Jen said!

Jen said...

I missed you, too, bodhi, you hilarious flamboyantly flaming homo. :)

Which reminds me that I need to link TOA on my toolbar (TOA should be on everyone's toolbar). That fag-less week was dreadful and unfunny, boys, and I won't willingly subject myself to another one any time soon.

And oh my god, you guys, I found my first gray hair when I was 12. Didn't find #2 'til my 20s but that first one sure was a shock in seventh grade.

Bodhi said...

Jen, I can't believe that you just called me a hilarious flamboyantly flaming homo.

Oh ... my ... Brad!

Thats just so ...true.

I missed ya too!
** Air kisses ***, sweetie darling sweetie, and a big (((HomoHug)))

The Other Andrew said...

Jen.
Gack, I would be depressed for a couple of years if I found a grey at 12. I'm not doing too bad, got a few tiny ones on the sides, and a few in the goat, but at 41 it could be worse. My sisters both went grey at a much younger age.

Thanks for the positive strokes about my blog! Do you have one Jen? I've tried following back the link to your Blogger profile but just get a 'Profile Not Available' message.

Oh, and you think Bodes is flamboyant here?... Oh, girlfriend.

Michael said...

jen, aren't you the sweetest thing ever? Well, sweetly masochistic apparently, but I totally get that. Thanks, darlin' (still doing my J.R. Cash just then).

"Thanks, that was great. OK, you can leave now". Bodhi, that's like the classic: Can I call you sometime? Um, no, I'm all set.

I gotta say it's nice to be missed. Since the comments rarely deal with what I actually post, next time I'm down, I'll throw stuff up about what I had for lunch and whatnot and let the queers hold court.

The Other Andrew said...

We always try and start with what you posted (at least I do), but we just get... distracted... sorry, what?

Michael said...

That's my point.

Wouldn't have it any other way, mate.

Jen said...

Well, sweetly masochistic apparently, but I totally get that.

I suspect that this is why the universe saw to it that we met. :)

No blog for me, Andrew. I may talk sassy but really I'm too thin-skinned for it and think all of you are wonderfully brave.

Bodhi said...

Dont worry Jen, I don't have a Blog either (though I have had a fab homepage for a few years). Apparently we remain self-blog virgins, it seems.

I know. Me. A virgin

I'm as shocked as the rest of you.

But moi, with my own Blog. Can you just imagine! ...

[Wistfully dreaming]

No doubt it would send the internet into meltdown with the traffic. But my problem is that people would probably think it all just fab fiction. It would scare them all senseless to realize that I don't make this shit up, and thats actually my life.

Anyhoo, I am having too much fun hanging out at Mikey and Andrew's blog to bother too much with my own.