Sunday, February 12, 2006

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane

Here's my horoscope from the new Tom Ford edited issue of Vanity Fair:

Ever since last summer, you've been hassled, harried and even mentally tortured, thanks to Mars's transit of your solar 12th house. The backstabbing and manipulation were enough to drive even the sanest Gemini over the edge and make you afraid to make any move at all. That's just about over now, and before long you'll come out swinging again. The situation directly ahead my call upon to to the the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. Sounds easy, but for many Geminis that could present a major moral crisis.
I share this for those who've been kind enough to listen to my intermittent whine over the last few months. It may be the end of that world as we know it! Do you really believe in such things? I don't, but in weak-minded moments I can't help but derive some measure of comfort from them. There's a path, a mysterious guiding force at work behind the scenes. It's like a little religion only without dogma, holy wars or bad hats.

Also, if Graydon mentions in his Editor's Letter that you can see Angelina Jolie's butt crack on page 303, do you leaf quickly ahead or not? The answer is telling, no matter who you are. Reflect.


The Other Andrew said...

"The situation directly ahead my call upon to to the the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but."

Umm, day in court?

Seriously though, this is all about that sense of living an authentic life right? The one the Listerine predicted.

maddie said...

First of all, I'm a gemini too. Awesome.

Second - thanks for posting that horoscope. I've been having quite a year myself, and have been contemplating much change, to get out of the distructive rut I find myself in. That gives me a little hope that it will all become clear soon. I don't live by horoscopes, but I know exactly what you mean about them being a comfort when they are the right ones.

Third - I would totally leaf ahead to see possible crack. It's the curious one in me I guess. What does that say about me?

Michael said...

The one the Listerine predicted. Well, it sounds a lil' crazy when you put it THAT way. ;-) But yes.

Maddie, of COURSE you're a Gemini, sista. You had to be, right? Maybe this'll be a banner year for both of us. I'm not sure what leafing ahead or not leafing ahead means, but I didn't. I was underwhelmed by the picture in the end. She's a beautiful woman, but the shot wasn't so much a showcase of her beauty as it was of her tattoos. She's tummy down in a bathtub and her back is heavily inked. A strangely HOT picture, though, is Siena Miller sprawled out in nothing but some jewels, a black thong and some sparkly slingbacks.

Michael said...

PS Don't you LOVE that Gemini symbol?

The Other Andrew said...

It is a pretty cool symbol. New tattoo? Maybe just above the albino nipple?

maddie said...

Love the gemini symbol. It's one of the coolest ones I've seen. Of COURSE I'm a gemini - it makes so much sense that I kept reading your journal thinking "that sounds a lot like the way I think." :)

Well, even though the Angelina picture was a disappointment, I will have to go find a Vanity Fair now to see the Sienna picture!

Michael said...

Oh there are a lot of great photos in there actually. George Clooney's is a hoot and Joaquin Phoenix is actually kinda hot in his. Then there's Jake and Heath....worth picking up the issue.

Jen said...

I was supposed to be a Gemini but then that was the first time I demonstrated that punctuality wasn't going to be a highly valued trait for me in this life. Born 2 weeks late, I'm a Cancer.

I also would not flip ahead to see Angelina's ass, since I am one of only about 9 people on th planet who does not find her hot. But my roommate loves her, and I love my roommate, so I'd get up and bring the magazine into the next room so she could see Angelina's ass as quickly as possible, because I am a really nice guy like that.

maddie said...

I'm sorry, did you say there are pictures of George, Joaquin, Jake and Heath in one magazine? 4 of the actors I find the most talented and gorgeous? :faints: Now THOSE are worth flipping right to.

Michael said...

Yep, all of them and then some. I think the cover shot is kinda cool, although it was supposed to be three naked chicks, instead of two naked chicks and Tom Ford. He shoulda been naked too, right? I never was a big fan of Keira Knightley until Pride and Prejudice. She's just phenomenal in that. Looks gorgeous on that cover.

luscious loulou said...

Those Vanity Fair horoscopes are so bloody depressing.

I offer Gemini 2006 horoscope for you delectation.

"GEMINI 2006 ASTROLOGICAL HIGHLIGHTS: Welcome to your big idea year! You don't have one or two brilliant thoughts this year -- before it's up, you'll have hatched a jillion of them. But even the brightest idea will never blow up bigger than the brain cell it occupied without follow through. Your call to action comes in the form of an important need in January. Instead of throwing money at the problem, you're resourceful. Artistic expression is increasingly important to you through the end of the winter. Loved ones who think they understand you inside and out will be surprised and delighted by the depth of your talent. Share with a bigger audience in March and April. Your efforts to be noticed will get you paid as well.

Many Geminis are falling in love in June. The real thing happens quickly, and you feel it in your very bones. July features schooling, likely informal, but more applicable to your work than anything you could learn in the classroom. Charitable acts of a personal nature figure into your summer. People who really need you might not have the guts to admit it, but you know, and you don't let them down."

Fall in love in June. Moon. Spoon. aaaah.