I have no proof, but I think that I'm right

So, I went to see Kathy Griffin on Sunday night. People, she is a scream. You know that already. Given her ubiquity on Bravo, I was wondering if it would be worth it to see her live. So worth it. She hit all the usual suspects (Cruise, Mariah, Whitney, Seacrest, Gaiken), telling tales out of school, but I'm telling you that some of her most enjoyable stuff (for me) was political. She is just a few weeks back from Iraq and lawd have mercy does she have stories from there. That's not even the best shit. The best shit is when she goes OFF on the Bushies. Now understand that this is Dayton, Ohio, kids. Liberal outpost? Nein. Conservative bastion? Ja. I was surprised that the crowd received some of this stuff so well, but any surprise was tempered by the observation that I've never seen so many same sex couples in one place outside of Holz. And grrrrrl, she knows the crowd she's drawing. Caters to them/us. She has a list of things you'll never hear a gay man say, how to tell a regular lie from a gay lie, and she might even call someone a sloppy bottom, and it ain't Morley Safer. Her new special, Strong Black Woman, airs on Bravo next Tuesday. Oh, one local moment happened when Kathy asked if there was a "Maude" in the house and a man's voice shouts out, "Yes!" She was all, "Maude from my message boards?" and he's, "Yes!". "Huh. Maude's a man." She's trying to get the message boards going on her website, but right now it's mostly just fags hooking up.

It's nights like that one that serve to reinforce my notion that I'm in the wrong place. Sometimes I convince myself that "gay" is just a part of me. That I'm fine here. Then I'm in a huge venue with people that are either just like me or accepting of people just like me, and it's overwhelming. I'm not using that word lightly. Knees weak overwhelming. I know this sounds crazy for a man my age to say. We all walk our own path, though. It's been months and months that I've been talking about it, but I have this strong feeling that's like waking up. But long sleep refreshed, not drowsy. Or like I'm really seeing things, eyes wide open. Don't worry, though, I'm not all freakish with a nictitating membrane or anything. Just the huge forehead. My cards are all out on the table. Anyway, there's a peace and an exhiliration to it. Like I said, maybe you don't get that, but the other cool thing is that I'm fine with people not getting it or thinking "What took you so long?" or whatever. I've spent so much of my life worrying about pleasing people and worrying about what people will think. I'm done. Some of you reached that point at 20, some at 40, some never. No other path. No regrets. Ummmmm...thanks for listening.