Thursday, May 11, 2006

In another's eyes starin' back at me

I was working out over my lunch break and ran into my neighbor's kid who is home from college for the summer. He asked me to spot him on bench press. Oh, before we go further, this is not gonna end with any hot locker room action, so some of you (Bodhi) may want to move on. Where was I? So we're talking after and he asks me if I always work out during lunch. I say, "Yeah, at least four days a week." He comes back with, "Man, you really have life by the ass. A nice house, nice car, you set your own hours, you don't answer to anyone." I laugh. He goes on, "You vacation a lot, you buy what you want." I laugh again. It's funny to see your life through someone else's eyes. I do have all the things I thought I wanted when I was his age. It's funny how what you want/think you need changes over time. I wonder. If I would finally get the man to share my life with, the one I'm always pining for, the gentleman on the street/whore in the bedroom, would I then whine about my loss of independence? Will the carrot always be just out of reach? Or will I reach the point that I think, no FEEL, that yeah, this is IT? I wonder.

ADDED: OK, I know this joint has been a lil' heavy on the manscaping chatter lately, but one more and then I'll stop. For a while. This is gym-related, though, so I'm tacking it onto this post. Just tell me something. If your chest is a vast expanse of barren, but for about five long hair tentacles around each nipple, wouldn't that just drive you batshit crazy until you shaved them off? Are we from the same species? I just can't imagine ignoring that even under wraps, much less shamelessly flaunting the areolar eyelashes in the locker room.

24 comments:

xiaoxia said...

"I wonder. If I would finally get the man to share my life with, the one I'm always pining for, the gentleman on the street/whore in the bedroom"

Awww, me too...maybe a little less of the last part, but I feel the same way. I'm still a little young to be thinking this, but oh well...

And about the nipple thing for guys--those hairs need to either be plucked off or nair'd. I know tweezin' them would hurt like hell, but those scraggly hairs are gross.

maddie said...

It is really funny to see your life from another angle. I guess it's a little "grass is always greener" type of thing. Already, when I drive by the university I attended, I always think that it would be so nice to just have classes and socializing to worry about, not all of this real-life crap. I sure didn't think that at 20.

Regarding manscaping, can't really comment, being a girl and all, but I wasn't prepared for "hair tentacles" or "areolar eyelashes." Wow. That's a lovely mental picture.

BTW, I saw Capote finally. ABSOLUTELY LOVED LOVED LOVED it. That and Mission Impossible III (AWESOME) has me now in love with Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

freakgirl said...

Your is YOUR, You're is YOU ARE. :)

As for the hairs, yes, that would drive me batshit crazy. And if I had more Italian than Irish in me, I'd probably have the same problem.

Sorry. That probably grossed you out.

Er, I agree with xiaoxia. Nair those bitches right off. Or, Nads!

http://www.nads.com

maddie said...

"Or, Nads!"

I'm picturing a repeat of that scene in "The 40-year-old Virgin". Waxing and nipples. OW.

Michael Guy said...

I have the career, the condo, the address, the clothes, the boyfriend, et al...in the eyes of a stranger life would appear quite good. So how come I'm jerking off in the shower alone?

To quote Helen Hunt's mother's line in AS GOOD AS IT GETS when Helen laments "I JUST want a normal boyfriend!" Her mother steps from behind the door and states "...there's no such thing..." I've lived life long enough to also understand the adage: Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.

But then that makes me sound jaded and cynical with regard to love, loving and the notion of falling in love ever again. I still embrace the notion, though--that what is meant to be...will, in the end...be. But maybe that's just my left nut talking trash.

Michael Guy said...

BTW: NAIR the nipple hair.

Michael said...

Oh my God. I'm still at work and don't have time to say much, but I just re-read the post and I must make it CLEAR that it's NOT MY NIPPLES we are talking about! You know that, right? I'm actually hairy, chest-wise. Well, when I allow myself to be.

freakgirl said...

We know you are not the Man With Errant Hairy Nipples.

But we're discussing it just in the hopes that, perhaps, someone reading today might learn something.

Bodhi said...

Oh, before we go further, this is not gonna end with any hot locker room action, so some of you (Bodhi) may want to move on.

OK Mikey, just how shallow, sex and youth obsessed do you think I am? If for one minute you think that .... oh .... um .... never mind. Who am I kidding ...

PS. Is the eye pic that you posted here your eye? Very sexy, quite Yani-esque.

PSS. Sooooo, this college kid. Was he cute? What was he wearing?

PSSS. I'd marry you.

Michael Guy said...

MICHAEL: Calm down, honey. I know it's not YOUR nipple with the errant hairs.

Drink your juice, Shelby.

Michael said...

xiaoxia, you're right all around. You're WAY too young to be thinking about that and those scraggly hairs are gross. Not as gross, but there was a guy in my office today that had some eyebrow hairs so long that they HAD to be dangling in his field of vision. Again: Whole. Other. Species.

maddie, I totally do the same thing when I drive by a university, and it would be so nice to do that life again. That's something I'm sure of. Those phrases kind of wrote themselves. Vivid. And OF COURSE you loved Capote because, well, I did. PSH deserved every accolade he received. I'm on the fence about MI3. That good, huh?

Michael said...

FG,
RE: your/you're....ARRRGGGHHH! In my defense, I was at work and it was busy.....no? Duly noted and changed. And NADS? NEIN. Oh and the with the whole Irish v. Italian thing, I'd have to agree that a lil' alcohol problem is a small price to pay for "no nipple hair".

But we're discussing it just in the hopes that, perhaps, someone reading today might learn something. ::cues up THE MORE YOU KNOW sound effect::

MG, why is it always the left one? Because it is. Always.
Que sera, sera. You KNOW I love it when you get all Doris Day on my ass. Sometimes I think I don't really want a boyfriend/husband. Maybe I just long for a preternaturally hot partner in crime, Lestat-stizz.

maddie said...

Ok...put aside your Tom Cruise is obviously insane thing (if you are like me, you think that too) and see the movie. I was literally sitting in the theater, holding my breath with my hand over my mouth in shock for the majority of the movie. Such great action and suspense - much better than the other 2. Also, PSH was the most incredible bad guy - the character could have been cheesy, but he made him so very evil. Lawrence Fishburne, Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ving Rhames, Billy Crudup...all great. Some cleverly placed Alias cameos as well. JJ did a great job. Can you tell I liked it?

Michael said...

bodhi, awwwww, that's the most attractive offer of marriage that I've had in weeks at least. So sweet. And is college boy hot? Put a pillow case over his head and he could keep you entertained for at least a weekend. BANGIN' tight lil' bod. He can do pull-ups like there is no tomorrow. Finally, about my eye, lick it?

Michael Guy said...

So, like...I'm not the only one who jerked off to "Interview With A Vampire?" Not that Anne Rice is a bone-maker, but still...I'm saying: who wouldn't want to live forever with a hottie boyfriend? I've always liked the nights better than the days.

Michael said...

Maddie, you know what a movie whore am I. I couldn't miss a JJ movie on a bet, Cruisazy notwithstanding. Plus Jonathan Rhys Meyers? Unnnhhh. Billy Crudup? I love him even more than I otherwise would because, well, Claire Danes.

MG, live forever with a hottie bf, sleep all day and party all night, lots of sucking......CAPES! I'm SO with you, Akasha.

Bodhi said...

Finally, about my eye, lick it?

You know moi Mikey, if that what it takes then up up for anything. How about soft butterfly kisses on your eyelids, the feel of my warm breath on your face whilst my arms wrapped around you gently yet strong ...

And MG, not you are definately not the only one. An eternity sharing a coffin with my Louis (especially when he looks like His Brad-leyness). And I like the nightlife, I like to boogie ...

*Sigh*

PS Jonathon may have been cute, but nothing could save MI3 in my eyes from being craptacular. Shit movie. Saw it with The Kid and Rabbit. Tom Cruise, what an oxygen thief.

maddie said...

JJ Abrahms is all OVER this movie. You can tell in a second that he directed it. I spent half the movie leaning over to my dad and saying "oh my god, that's such a JJ thing to do!" I'm a dork.

Claire Danes - if you love her as you say you do, have you seen Shopgirl yet? She is so very good in it.

maddie said...

It seems to be that way over MI3, either people love it or hate it. Hm.

Michael said...

Bodhi, Lick. My. Eyeball. Bitch.
Kidding, of course. Only I'm not. The forceful embrace and the hot breath part sounds awesome.

So it sounds like you and Maddie are of two minds regarding the kick-off of the summer blockbuster season. I'll see it, to break the tie. I'll be the rubber.

Maddie, dork, huh? So what does that make me? And....ummmm....errrrr....haven't seen Shopgirl because I heard it was so bad. But I will. I mean, if anyone can take a nothing day/movie and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile, it's her. Didn't you just want to EAT HER in The Family Stone?! LUMINOUS.

Bodhi said...

Oh I'll lick more than just your eyeball Mikey ... but you better ask nicely bitch.

maddie said...

Well, have you gone on and on and on to your friends about your love for JJ Abrams, and how he is a genius and cute in a movie geek kind of way with those glasses...while they pat you on the shoulder and say "Sure, dear, whatever you say" and go on and on to people about Alias and Lost and how it is so awesome that JJ finally got his first chance to direct a movie and how great he did, and then they look at you like you are insane? You aren't a dork. I so am. :)

Ok, Shopgirl the movie as a whole isn't that good at all. It's kind of slow and Steve Martin, in my opinion, was way too old to play the part he wrote, even though I love him. I saw it because I love Jason Schwartzman ever since Rushmore, so I need to see every movie he's in. Claire Danes was the best part of a ehhhh movie. LOVED her in The Family Stone. Her and Luke Wilson's performances were my favorite in the movie.

freakgirl said...

Re: Shopgirl - Read the book, was bored to tears. I think I'll avoid the movie.

Re: Mission Impossible - Have plans to see it on Tuesday night, because of JJ and PSH, plus the theater sells beer, which brings us to...

Re: Irish vs. Italian. If I have to choose between alcohol problem and nipple hair, alcohol wins every time, sweetie.

Bodhi said...

Being a one time member of the CIA myself (that's Catholic Irish Alcoholic for those of vous not in the no), I will have to disagree with the Freakygirl above and go for the Italian.

Hmmmmm, Ciao Bello ...