Tuesday, October 11, 2005

But we got ten itchy fingers, one thing to declare, "When the monkey is high, you do not stare."


In case you missed it, one of the cornerstones of our country, that church and state be separate, is being chipped away by the arch-conservatives and their holy-rollin' jackhammers/jackasses. They've been pushing to further inculcate the youth by teaching intelligent design in our science classrooms. Never mind there isn't a lick of valid science to support it. There is an interesting article in USA Today which details some of the debate that rages on today, eerily unchanged since the time of Darwin. I have to admit I was shocked by a few things. I fancy myself a man of the people, but some of the people's opinions are just downright backward. I can say that, right? This is my shit here. I was most surprised by this poll question:

BIBLE VS. EVOLUTION Which statement comes closest to your views?

God created human beings in their present form exactly as described in the Bible
All: 53% Men: 45% Women: 60%
18-29: 54% 30-49: 50% 50-64: 50% 65 and older: 60%

Human beings have evolved over millions of years from other forms of life, and God guided this process.
All: 31% Men: 34% Women: 29%
18-29: 27% 30-49: 38% 50-64: 32% 65 and older: 20%

Human beings have evolved, but God had no part in the process.
All: 12% Men: 17% Women: 8%
18-29: 17% 30-49: 10% 50-64: 15% 65 and older: 11%

Here, I thought I was all in tune with the zeitgeist. Hangin' with Johnny Public. Not agreeing with him mostly, but knowing him. This floored me. Holy crap. Am I the cultural elite?

33 comments:

Jen said...

Let's run down the cultural elite checklist, shall we? Gay; smart; works out regularly; goes to the symphony -- er, has "friends" that go to the symphony, whatever; witty; involved in an ironic love affair with pop culture; liberal; gets haircuts in a timely fashion; is unwilling to mop kitchen floor. Checks one and all.

My friend, I'm pleased to inform you that you are, in fact, a member of the cultural elite. We'll be sending you your membership card, your Martha Stewart Living Expedite My Order Form, and your subscription to the New Yorker in just a few days.

The Other Andrew said...

What Jen said.

I'd add that you pay more for your underwear than some people pay for whole outfits.

Jen said...

Now I have to know what he pays for underwear.

Michael said...

Gee, Jen, when you put it that way! ;-) I'll pass on the Martha Stewart shizz, but the "New Yorker" subscrip? Yay!
I still say it's surprising, nay, SHOCKING, to read that for over 50% of Americans, the Genesis story from the Bible is the literal truth.

Andrew, buying expensive underpants doesn't qualify me as elite culturally, just ridiculously susceptible to homo-erotic marketing. I don't think they cost as much as a whole outfit, except when they have been my whole outfit.

The Other Andrew said...

2xist boxer briefs (apparently) - not your average KMart brand...

Michael said...

Geez, I mention ONE TIME that I like to read freakgirl in just 2xist boxer briefs, leaning back in my leather chair, legs kicked up onto the desktop, hair mussed and with a 5 o'clock shadow, while smelling musky and it's ALL Andrew remembers.

PS I'm wearing Hanes right now. Like $20 for a 3-pack.

The Other Andrew said...

Cheapskate.

:-)

One time? Two, three, four times... whatever. The Queen of Self Promotion. We love you for it.

Michael said...

Well, the Queen was trying to discuss her indignation at religion's infiltration into our science classrooms and who was it that steered the conversation to her drawers?

That said, you KNOW I've already ordered up some of these bad boys:
http://tinyurl.com/b6q7c

The Other Andrew said...

Yes, I'm a very bad man. Let me know how those work out for you, btw. Or post pics, whatever.

I went out with a guy for 6 months, who... well... let's say he came in in the bottom quartile for 'member size' if you know what I'm saying. Gorgeous man, but a bit tiny. He used to wear a c*ckring when he went out to the gay pubs just to try and get a similar degree of loft and 'enhancement' that these undies advertise.

Not that I'm accusing you of anything...

What was this post about originally?

Jen said...

You're going to be sorry for passing on Martha -- the woman makes a killer cookset at a very reasonable price.

And heh, I think 50% of Americans believe that Elvis is still alive, but that might be the aliens, I don't remember for sure. Brainiacs, we ain't.

Michael said...

Andrew, I'm what's known in the parlance as a grower. Unless it's really humid, then I'm a bit showy. And bigheaded, if you like that sort of thing. Can you believe it's taken two gay men THIS LONG to discuss dick stats?

Jen, I do have some of her garden stuff, like the retro watering can that is EXACTLY like the one my grandma had.

freakgirl said...

I greatly enjoy the fact that a post about evolution versus creationism has turned into a conversation about Martha Stewart and underpants. Oh, you crazy gays. ;)

The Other Andrew said...

..and dicks, don't forget the dicks Freakgirl.

Honestly, I don't know why anyone would want to be straight. I mean, really? What with all the fun we have.

Michael said...

"...turned into a conversation about Martha Stewart and underpants."

But not Martha Stewart's underpants, thankfully.

I think freakgirl's thoughts, not unlike your own Andrew, are never far from dick.

It's true, buddy, gays rule.

freakgirl said...

Yay dick!

Bodhi said...

"In just 2xist boxer briefs, leaning back in my leather chair, legs kicked up onto the desktop, hair mussed and with a 5 o'clock shadow, while smelling musky"

Damn!, Mikey, now thats about ALL I can think of. I'm commiting that image to my permanent memory as I type, sweetie darling sweetie. In fact, just give me a moment to get comfortable here myself and ...

Hard to foc us and ty pe one han d e d witho out loo k ing at key bo a rd ...

Hmmmmhhhhh

... Ummm ... I'm sorry, what we were talking about here again?

Michael said...

Committing to permanent memory, eh? If you'd actually seen it, instead you'd be trying to go all 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' on my ass, B.

Michael said...

I never said before, Jen, but I totally want you to write my epitaph.

Jen said...

I assume you won't mind that the theme for said epitaph will likely involve underpants. Also, I'm hoping by the time you kick it we'll have the technology to easily incorporate Andrew saying, "Yes, he was a very bad man," in what I imagine to be his very sexy British-tinged Aussie accent.

Michael said...

Mind? It's why you're the one.

Mmmm, his accent is really nice in my head, too. And when he spells shit using the Queen's English? fuggedaboutit.

The Other Andrew said...

'Colour'! 'Flavour'! 'Light' Sour Cream!

There is a girl here in my office who is from Manchester in the UK, where my parents were from. Every now and then I like to drop a bit of Manchester slang or put on the accent, livens the day up somewhat. Somewhat.

I think I've started to lose a bit of the British infection, my parents have been dead for many years now and so I'm not surrounded by their thick accents all the time like I used to be. Also, Adelaide (my old home town) tends to have a slightly more English sounding accent, but I've been here in Sydney for many years now.

Of course, I still sound hot. Actually. :-)

Michael said...

Oooh, post a sound file!

The Other Andrew said...

I just realised I wrote 'British infection' instead of 'British inflection'... yes, I was re-reading my post. Ego, much?

Post a sound file? I am so techno-challenged I can't even begin to imagine how I would do that... Tell you what, I'll post a sound file when you post some sort, any sort of picture of yourself. M'kay?

:-P

Michael said...

Of course I noticed that "infection". Came out kinda cute, actually.
Pictures! Like I didn't know it would come back to that. Well, considering that my Christmas abs are proving more bashful than I'd anticipated, what would you like? Specific expression or pose or attire?

Jen said...

Dear Mr. Blog Host Man,

Please be advised that I will be greeting the arrival of your picture with the exact same neurosis-inducing total effing silence with which you greeted mine.

xoxo,
Jen

Michael said...

Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen....please know that I would never do something like that. I may play rude on the interweb, but momma raised me better than that. More in the email I just sent you.

PS I ain't postin' jack shit.

Jen said...

I emailed you back. You know I love you, right, even though I am apparently too stupid to be roaming the internets without supervision? :)

The Other Andrew said...

Jen, Michael, I heart you guys. Wanna take a road trip with the top down?

Jen said...

I'm envisioning scenes out of Priscilla QOD...

The Other Andrew said...

Hell yeah! I have the accent and everything.

...and I love you for not saying "To Wong Foo".

Jen said...

To Wong Foo?! Good lord, Andrew, I'm a lesbian, not a vulgarian.

What do you suppose our host will say when he finally returns to his blog and finds us all waiting in the car in the driveway, engine idling, bags packed, pitcher of Seabreezes icing down, Tears For Fears blaring from the stereo?

The Other Andrew said...

Hah!

Oh my God woman, Tears For Fears?! Alright, now you're getting me where I live.

One of us is a muscle tank, the other in head scarfe and Jackie-O sunglasses - at this early stage, too hard to tell which.

Michael said...

I'll just grab the small bag I have packed just in case of this eventuality, then holler, "Scootch over, Mary, cuz daddy is drivin'" and we're fucking gone...to NJ...the three amigays.