Monday, October 24, 2005

I am just a simple man with simple expectations

  • It's only sleep bottoms I'm talking about here, but I am clawing myself with glee over the pair I found this weekend at the Target. I don't ask for much from what I sleep in (yeah, go ahead)(see, I can be the straight man sometimes). In winter, I like longs. Longs, but in a light fabric because I'm really warm-blooded and throw off a lot of heat in the sack. I like a drawstring waist so I can wear them either on the hips or low-slung with the tops of my ass cheeks peekin'. I like a fly, but a button-fly so I'm not floppin' out when the Scouts come callin' to sell something, but I'm free to unbutton for Larry, the UPS guy. Finally, and this is crucial, no pockets! Who the fuck needs pockets in bed? You carry your keys? A Swiss Army knife? A train schedule? What does it have in its pocketses? These meet all the criterion in a nice smooth poplin dyed in a jaunty 'espresso' stripe. For $13.99, bitches.
  • So Oprah really pushed her book club recommendation, A Million Little Pieces, on her show Friday. It's already been #1 on the bestseller's list since she picked it, but she really flogged it again. She even trotted out Nate's adorable ass to sing its praises. That did it for me. By Saturday when I was looking for it, ignoring the fact that I have a dozen books stacked on my nightstand, it was SOLD OUT, muthafuckas. Everywhere. Not at B&N, not at Borders, not at Target or Wal-Mart. Not even at fucking Kroger. This woman's power is astounding. Did you know that? Hee.
  • I was at my niece's fourth birthday party on Sunday. She's the one who had the heart procedure done last month. Doing awesome btw. She's a spitfire. My godchild. Bitch got more presents on one frigging birthday than I got my whole childhood. God bless her and I wouldn't begrudge her anything, but is this a good thing we're doing? Things, things, things, things. Please set me straight on this, but isn't it a bit out of hand, our consumerism?
  • I keep writing about The Power of Myth because I keep loving it. You know how some things just hit you at the right time in your life? Sometimes it seems like you are ready for something and then it's there. This book is that for me right now. Campbell and Moyers talk about leading an authentic life. A life that is accepting of our own personal nature and irrespective of norms or expectations. A life about conquering fear and following bliss. It's a lot more than that, but that is really something if one can do it, no?
  • Whilst driving about this weekend for various reasons (btw, if you are the lady in the PT Cruiser with the 'Jesus is my Co-Pilot' license holder, then bitch, you need to let Christ take the wheel, cuz you're a fucking road hazard), I was listening to the Sugababes. Isn't it the best thing when you come late to some awesome experience and then you have this backlog to explore with the wonder of your youth? Thanks, Max. I'm loving 'Freak Like Me' so much I wanna put it in my mouth.
  • Final driving note: It's almost 2006 , so isn't it time to get the W '04 stickers off already?

39 comments:

The Other Andrew said...

I heart your contradictions! Pimping Target and Oprah's Bookclub and decrying consumerism. What's next, hot guy pics and decrying objectification?

PS. is 'sleep bottom' a euphemism?

Michael said...

Yeah, but the bottoms are cheap and the book is in paperback!
I know what you're saying, but I'm accepting my contradictions now.

is 'sleep bottom' a euphemism Yeah, for what you become after hours of being my ass monkey.

Seriously, though, on the consumerism, it's at the root of my fears of starting over. I like nice things, Andrew. More than I should. I need to get over that.

Michael said...

Being objectified is one of my main pipedreams.

The Other Andrew said...

Mmmm cheap bottoms, are there any better kind?

You know that the term 'ass monkey' just makes me giggle like a schoolgirl, don't you? Awww, the pretty word pictures you paint.

Seriously I do know what you mean about consumerism, I don't buy much these days but over the years I have accumulated a big load of stuff. (I bought a Wedgewood dinner service when I was 18 for Chrissakes. Plain formal white bone china - I had taste even then.) I'm much less attached to retail therapy than I used to be.

Bodhi said...

Long before Oprah gave the plug, I was amongst the first wave of many buyers that purchased this very much deserved bestseller not long after it was first released. And let me just say, Wow!

Its raw. Its emotional. Its deeply moving. Very much a story of recovery from addiction. I personally related heaps. I have recommended it to many of my recovery friends, and they too loved it. Notwithstanding Oprah, this book has a wholehearted and unequivocal B Endorsement, Mikey.

I know. A B Endorsement. You want it sooo bad it hurts now, huh?

The Other Andrew said...

Dude, I just posted an entry on my blog which might surprise you. It makes your remark about keeping a Swiss Army Knife in the pocket of your jimjams all that more poignant, and scary... :-)

wingedman said...

I can't fucking leave you for six hours to go to work and then come back to see you put THREE posts up, can I?!

This is why I check your site like, 3 times a day.

Gotta run now though...it's time for MADONNA BODYJAM! Will comment later, swear.

Michael said...

Bodhi, I replied to your endorsement earlier. Not sure what happened there. Of course when Oprah, Nate AND you tagteam me, what else am I to do but submit? I still have dibs on that Lucky Pierre spot, unless Oprah is involved, then it's all you.
Seriously, if you say so, I am picking that book up and it's shooting up to the top of my list with a bullet.

freakgirl said...

Re: the W stickers - I still haven't been able to bring myself to remove my Kerry/Edwards sticker from my car. I need to move on. (dot org)

Michael said...

Truth be told, freakgirl, I'm a total hypocrite on the bumper stickers. When I see someone with the Kerry/Edwards sticker, I always give them a big thumbs up as I drive by.

Jen said...

I have a sticker on the back window of my car that says Girls Kick Ass, and it's been there for 10 years. It replaced a pink triangle that I took off because I was driving the car to some scary-mary place in rural Georgia and I did not wish to be killed over liking to kiss girls.

Sleep bottoms with pockets are great for disabled people -- my daily wear is PJs. Less fly on my flannel pants and more pocket please.

Hm, I need to follow my bliss to the kitchen for some coffee because ladies, this bitch is exhausted.

freakgirl said...

Where you been?

wingedman said...

Your niece is also your godchild?

Does that make you her fairy godfather?

*ba-dump chingggg*

I loved the part about letting Christ take over the wheel, it as just beggin' to be said.

Jen said...

Crazy busy lately + thyroid crash = Very Tired Jen

:)

So many people got Jesus riding shotgun I think that dude must've flunked driver's ed.

Michael said...

wingedman, it's feast or famine here at Pipedreams, so sidle on up to the trough, baby, and open wide. I'm sorry, was that rude? Madonna Body Jam sounds like HEAVEN. At my gym, there's probably jam, but I'd hate to guess where.

jen, when you call me lady, it feels kinda nice. I don't mind the rear PJ pocket, but the side ones bulge and just RUIN the line.

wingedman redux,
Fairy godfather. That deserved the rimshot. The funniest things are the truest things.

jen deux,
I guess we can't expect Jesus to do EVERYTHING for us. Or can we? I suppose even the son of god gets it hard sometimes especially when he goes around saying, "I am the way." RW

Jen said...

Ah, the light comes on. You don't want to look hippy, of course, but I have boobies and I need to add the illusion that I also have curvy hips.

Jen-deux has a nice sound to it, like it's a new kind of martial arts. Don't mess with Jesus, for he is wily and he will fuck you up with some of that Jen-deux. Kiiii-ha!

luscious loulou said...

Fabulous: understated yet classic casually hot lounge slash sleepwear, Espressoman and unless you're an XL - only $12.99! Excellent buy.

Dateline:
Nordstrom.Com
Men's
Sleepwear & robes

I just happened to be browsing and wow, the Polo Ralph Lauren boys are looking scrumptious.

Velour crewneck boy (trying to get the hair out his eyes without removing his hands from pockets - interesting and kind of a "Nate" look about him) and Thermal top boy (he sees me and is twinkling in delight ….) Oh dear. I'm squirming in my chair. * phew *

Now back to my suede kneehigh boots with the 2 3/4" wedge heel. But do I need them?!


loulou

The Other Andrew said...

Loulou, grrrrl we have a date for shopping sometime, m'kay?

Jen, glad you're back & hope you're feeling brighter.

Mikey, espresso is the new black. (...and also reminds me of the 'catalogue couple' from "Best In Show" who refer to all their clothes in the J Crew/Banana Republic/LL Bean colours "I might wear the merlot sweater...")

Michael said...

I like the sound/feel when you deliver the jen-deux kick!

loulou, I'm not an XL and it was an excellent buy, though not so cheap since I got them in multiple colors. So seldom are all my loungewear criteria so righteously met. And suede knee high boots? I need you to have them. Does that help?

Andrew, God how we love Best In Show. I taught my niece to say her favorite colors are 'cayenne' and 'moat'.

The Other Andrew said...

I used to be a Fragrance & Cosmetics buyer for the Oceania region a big US duty free chain, I bought for all the stores across Australia & NZ. (Fag, much?) The cosmetic colours were hands down the most fun in terms of names. I mean, there's like 14+ different ways to say 'black' for a start...

luscious loulou said...

Yes, Andrew. Shopping. Btw, I once upon a time lived in the wonderful land of Kirribilli. Robertson Lane. The only flats with no view of the Opera House. But still good. Worked in Potts Point/King's Cross. Intriguing, non?

luscious loulou said...

And suede knee high boots? I need you to have them. Does that help?

Yes, Michael.

Now if you would like to vet the rest of my rather extravagant shoe, boot & cashmere wishlist I would be very appreciative.

Neiman's, J.Crew, Nordies, Zappos and Banana Republic feature prominently. Pack a lunch and perhaps use the bathroom before you start. Maybe call close friends to warn them you will be out of touch and not to worry. :D

Michael said...

Intriguing? I think I wanna be you, loulou, except keeping my boy parts.

Michael said...

"Nordies" made me laugh. I'm a big 'Banana Republic' guy. Suits me. Obviously not ahead of the curve, but current and it fits me well, and lasts, at least as long as I wear it.

The Other Andrew said...

Loulou, Kirribilli is lovely. You probably saved a ton of rent by not having a view of the Opera House. Even 'harbour glimpses' (in RealEstateAgentSpeak) jack the price up.

luscious loulou said...

It was a dream of place, Andrew. Almost a white-washed adobe look and feel. Plus quick hop onto the teeny ferry over to the Quay or the train was close over the Bridge.

My first place was a bedsit in Bronte (ughh) shared bathroom & kitchen with godknowswho but at least one japanese benihana chef who was always sharpening his knives.*shiver* I lasted 2 weeks. Then on to Bondi junction with fab flatmates (one drummer with abs of absolute steel - that little drum practise pad unnhhh -, who took me on his motorbike for rides - sadly, he had a suspicious girlfriend) so... Then Kirribilli. Aaaaah, that is the sound of relief.


loulou

The Other Andrew said...

When was this Loulou?

luscious loulou said...

Well Andrew, this was mid-eighties and earlier and later. It's all a bit of a blur really. As it should be.



loulou

luscious loulou said...

Now you've got me thinking so I will add.

Ragin' until dawn, working, Tamarama & tan and drunk and RSL's and hookas and waking up naked in some 'burb under a fur coat phew, crawling, I remember crawling, then flying to England for a coupla' months, then back to Aussie, Noosa, Bundaberg, Magnetic, Canada..., back to Australia. Up and down the coast. Bandsbandsbands. Aussie Crawl, Hunters & Collectors, The Mentals, UB40, U2, Cold Chisel, Midnight Oil, INXS, Madness, The Clash, Human League, Ian Dury, PetShopBoys oh just... millions and millions.

Sun and dancin' and pretty boys for me and OH yeah, Duran Duran & the Police. I followed the music, babyboy and dragged male studs with me.

I was a lucky little girl, I think. (Now, I feel a little weary, perhaps a nap will help.)TMI? :P


loulou

Michael said...

You lived large, loulou. Unlike the post title, you are not simple, or with the simple expectations.

luscious loulou said...

Hell, I suppose I lived like that because my dad had just died so young, so young and it felt marvelous to not worry about him anymore and be able to run free. My highschool prom (with my dad in the hospital), blech. So I frolicked a wee bit when I was finally able.

Well. Thud. I might have brought this thread to a slamming halt. Oops.

Still thinkin' of your marvie Espresso poplin jimjams, though Michael. :D


loulou

Michael said...

No thud,loulou, you've kept the dream alive, most times. Usually the threads only live a day.
I'm in said jimjams right now, laptop betwixt my knees.

The Other Andrew said...

No loulou, no thud I heard. The Aussie music scene was fab in the '80s. I moved to Sydney from Adelaide at the tail end of the '80s, and went WILD. Big city, disposable income, mid twenties, dance parties, the Oxford St gay scene was at its height... it was a great time to be alive.

Ah, loved Mental as Anything! Divinyls, Australian Crawl, Hunters & Collectors. Good times.

luscious loulou said...

Oh, no thud? Thanks, mis amigas.

Betwixt? Ah yes, runner's thighs. I wear cut off sweats with "Dancer" stencilled on the butt (just below really) and a big cashmere jumper and big down booties. Your attire is sexier. Essss-pressssss-oh!

Disposable income indeed, Andrew. But well worth it and I'm dreamin' about starting up again, touring and stuff. I love live bands so. You know, I still have the cassette tapes (must convert to mp3) Hey, you're not my cousin Adam, are you?


loulou

Michael said...

The problem with jimjams that you love so much is on mornings like this one, where you're snuggled in with a good book and some good music and you're wearin' 'em (not the espressos, but their blue family equivalent which I'm calling the pacifics)....you don't wanna move. I FINALLY finished "The Power of Myth" and am focusing solely on "The City of Falling Angels"....luxuriating in Venice while still in my cozy little den....

luscious loulou said...

This morn with the rain and wind whipping across the water, it's lavender velour flares from Vic's Secret with 1/2 zip Pata fleece and I'm stuck into "Power of Myth" - I picked it up yesterday, PapaPimp Michael. And I've got a hot cuppa & a nice fire. (Brrrrrr.)

The pacifics. Ah, but of course, to match your dazzling blue eyes as opposed to complementing them with the espresso collection.

City of Falling Angels is Berendt, isn't it? Fine.Fine. Sheesh! On my list, 'kay?. Ven- ettttzia Talked about Europe and life whilst Dogwalking today with a Dutch/Belgian (one of those) bloke who just got back. Travel is definitely on the horizon and in the air. And I am in its thrall or some thing. Something as "in bondage to it"? Oh yeah, that's it.

loulou

luscious loulou said...

Speaking of bondage, I just found your Lucky thread.

Ooh la Lucky.

I pick a new (old) post somedays, and just add my .02 cents (cdn.) Interesting reading, always.


loulou

Michael said...

Oh, I hope you like "Myth". I plodded through it for months, not because it was tough, but I found things I loved/needed on every page. Like I said, I'm not religious or too terribly spiritual, but it does seem like things show up when we need them sometimes.
Yeah, "Falling Angels" is John Berendt. Ahhhhh, Venezia. I'm luxuriating in it already. I'm going, I'm going, I'm going there. Maybe sooner if this book keeps up. I'm only 50 pp. in and brotha is already hooking me in with some interesting characters.

Michael said...

P.S. Love the delving back. Blogger is kind enough to let me know about posts wherever you may roam. Root through my stuff, loulou. I'd be getting in yours if I could. I'm not terribly gentle either, and a bit calloused.