Monday, December 05, 2005

I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid

It's my OTHER mom's birthday this weekend. So I'm gift shopping last weekend, right? This lovely bitch has everything she needs AND everything she wants. My bright idea was to head to Yellow Springs, a charming little college town near here, full of quirky shops. It's home to Antioch College, a small bastion of radical liberalism in the otherwise conservative desolation of Ohio. Yellow Springs looks just like the little town from whence I sprang. As we all know, looks can be deceiving. Whereas my hometown is full of anal retentive and God-fearing German Catholics, if you walk around Yellow Springs, after an hour or so you would not even glance twice at a backward talking dancing dwarf. Or Rip Taylor. Or the AWOL Dave Chappelle (this one's for reals). OK, I'm exaggerating a bit, but witness this lil' exchange. I'm in this shop looking at jewelry and the proprietor offers that all the clothes are 50% off. I say I can't possibly pick out clothes for my mom. She says, "Oh, that's no problem. I'm also a psychic and readings are half off today too, so for $15 we can know the perfect color and size!" Sure, I was taken aback for a second, but this is genius really. With the right marketing (and a personal makeover)(that include a full set of veneers) there is no limit to this woman's potential as a personal gift shopper. Later I saw dogs in clothes. Not cheesy shit, guys, I'm talking stylish clothes where you're all, "Damn, I wonder if that comes in human sizes?" I ended up getting Mom 2 a cool teapot, hand-thrown by some homegrown crunchy, hempy type who did not profess to any preternatural powers. She'll get a haiku, too. Mom, I mean, not the hempy bitch.
I mock Yellow Springs a bit, but this is a really cool town. Evidence is that they have made the first official declaration by a government entity against Ohio's recent amendment banning gay marriage.
The resolution says the amendment passed in November as Issue 1 is “against village practices and policies of inclusiveness and non-discrimination” because it threatens the rights of all unmarried couples and creates “an overall milieu if anguish and doubt as to the abilities of same-sex couples to provide for each other and their children.”
Issue 1 (the gay marriage ban) was defeated in Yellow Springs 2,238 to 408. Of course, the statewide results were considerably different.

I snapped the picture of the historic train station with my phone. The station is a little visitor's bureau now. Can you tell I loved this town? Jen, there is a fabulous little Craftsman bungalow we can have for a song!

news link via Gay People's Chronicle


Jen said...

I loved Yellow Springs. It was so weird and so fun. That nearby Young's Dairy Farm has some of the best ice cream on the planet. Sign me up for the fungalow bungalow!

Sounds like you chose a lovely gift for Mom 2, I hope she enjoys her non-psychically touched crockery.

Michael said...

I've been to Yellow Springs a few run the trails or go to Young's, but had never really wandered the downtown. It is quirky and fun. I'll go back. It is only a short hop from Dayton...we could do it!

I'm digging this teapot. The colors are beautiful and purple is prominently featured. It's her color. And her scent...lilacs and lavender. I should tell you about her sometime. She is at once the sweetest and the scariest woman I know. The first time I met her she told her son and I to fuck off. Love her. I gotta fine tune that haiku.

Jen said...

Moms who say "Fuck off"
Are interesting people
I love purple too

Michael said...

Comfort and shelter
Held by lavender's scent
And your open arms

Too cheesy?
Last year's waxed syllabic about her mix of beauty, brains and blunt, so I'm thinking of tipping the haiku hat to her maternal aspect.

Jen said...

Love it.