A few weeks ago when we started serving
PIE here at the
Pipedreams Cafe, it was an innocent thing. The reason? I love women. I enjoy them. Especially if she has a fabulous outfit and really good hair and her tinkus is covered, then I enjoy looking at a woman. It was all good-natured fun, right? Til
freakgirl came along and started
throwing down gauntlets. I swear that girl is always with her lines in the sand, isn't she? Anyway, now the mission, since I choose to accept it, is to come up with some
PIE that will have the sparks flying off resident lezzie
Jen's fork. You might be thinking I have my work cut out for me, but if you are thinking that, you are sorely mistaken, my friend. Cinchy. Easy peasy. I've tied three appendages behind my back before attempting this trick. So without further ado, I offer you
Miss Portia de Rossi Degeneres.
I didn't feel a strong need to choose a lesbian, but I figured ::cue Uncle Morty voice:: it don't hurt. Irrespective of that, P.dR. is smokin' hot, albeit in a strange sleepy-eyed what's-with-her-nose way, she's funny as hell, as her turn as Lindsay Bluth on
Arrested Development attests, and she's even got the right (meaning: left) political leanings. Oh, and I'm guessing the accent gives Jen as much of a boner as it does me. Go ahead. Just try and tell me she doesn't moisten your sheets, lady.
So, I feel confident. I toyed with a few other offerings. I considered
Nelly Furtado, but then I remembered it was actually
fur taco that Jen is always raving about. Anyway, if I'm wrong, then next week I get served. Served
PIE by Jen and we'll get a taste of how a transplanted Ohio dyke rolls. But if I'm right, it'll be more queer faves next week. Someone like Jean Smart. Love! Her!
A few weeks ago when we started serving PIE here at the Pipedreams Cafe, it was an innocent thing. The reason? I love women. I enjoy them. Especially if she has a fabulous outfit and really good hair and her tinkus is covered, then I enjoy looking at a woman. It was all good-natured fun, right? Til freakgirl came along and started throwing down gauntlets. I swear that girl is always with her lines in the sand, isn't she? Anyway, now the mission, since I choose to accept it, is to come up with some PIE that will have the sparks flying off resident lezzie Jen's fork. You might be thinking I have my work cut out for me, but if you are thinking that, you are sorely mistaken, my friend. Cinchy. Easy peasy. I've tied three appendages behind my back before attempting this trick. So without further ado, I offer you Miss Portia de Rossi Degeneres. 
I didn't feel a strong need to choose a lesbian, but I figured ::cue Uncle Morty voice:: it don't hurt. Irrespective of that, P.dR. is smokin' hot, albeit in a strange sleepy-eyed what's-with-her-nose way, she's funny as hell, as her turn as Lindsay Bluth on Arrested Development attests, and she's even got the right (meaning: left) political leanings. Oh, and I'm guessing the accent gives Jen as much of a boner as it does me. Go ahead. Just try and tell me she doesn't moisten your sheets, lady.
So, I feel confident. I toyed with a few other offerings. I considered Nelly Furtado, but then I remembered it was actually fur taco that Jen is always raving about. Anyway, if I'm wrong, then next week I get served. Served PIE by Jen and we'll get a taste of how a transplanted Ohio dyke rolls. But if I'm right, it'll be more queer faves next week. Someone like Jean Smart. Love! Her!
29 comments:
Oh you shut up, you. :)
I think Portia is usually hot, but sometimes her thinness frightens me. I don't dig bony. But this pie ain't for me, anyway.
Oh, and in this straight girl's opinion, Nelly Furtado is fug.
Oh, the Furtado thing was just so I could do the fur taco thing.
I like some meat on a woman, too, but I think de Rossi is de Lovely in that little girl next door all grown up but somehow still a little girl way.
Boy, no love for PdR. Straight girls? Gay guys and girls? Straight guy? Aussies of any stripe?
sssshhhhh...the Aussies are sleeping.
Ok, I'll pull myself out of this lurking stretch and comment.
She's pretty good looking, no Gisele (my girl-crush), but she's ok. I loved her on Ally McBeal and I still have to catch up on the phenomenon that is Arrested Development. Dvds in Netflix, just haven't gotten to any yet. Looks hilarious, though.
It's nice to see Ellen finally happy with a gorgeous girl like Portia, after all of that crap with crazy Anne Heche and whatnot. They're a cute couple.
Freakgirl, oops. I must admit I kinda like it when it's just us. But do you always have to be in back when we spoon?
There you are, Maddie! Oh, I'm MAD for Gisele, as I've posted about before. Trust that you will LOVE AD. I'm kinda shocked you haven't partook.
I'm sure I will love AD. It was a case of too many things on at the same time, and then I missed so many that I thought that it was best to start from the beginning when I have a chance to watch a lot in a row.
Random movie suggestion - I just watched Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang starring Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. Totally recommend, it's one of my new favorites.
::still protesting with my Bring back the Twink! banner, and starting a rousing rendition of "All we are sayyyying, is give Twink a chance ..."::
Sorry, but no. Maybe I can save you some time by giving preemptive noes to: Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, all of the Desperate Housewives, Reese Witherspoon, Sharon Stone and Angelina Jolie.
Oooh, none of them were my alternates. Well, except for Jolie. And I was so sure! OK. The pie is in your court. It'll be the first Pipedreams guest post next week, despite any objections from Bodhi. I have to wonder if Ms. Bundchen would have worked for you, though, as she does for me and la Maddie. No? You lesbians do have your ways. Those baked potato recliners were speaking to me, but I just wasn't listening.
PS I think you're finicky, Morris.
I had to google Bundchen. Are you talking about Gisele? If so, then no, she's not for me either.
Yes, I am very picky. :)
I'm kind of excited now. I can hardly wait til next week. You'll do the whole post then?
::"All we are sayyyying ..."
:: holding flickering candle cup for Bodhi ::
But more importantly...no mention of Miss PdR's appearances on Ally McBeal?! I LURVED her on that show.
BTW: I have the music CD from "thirtysomething". Can you still love me?
You'll do the whole post then?
Heh, it's a hostile enough environment when you post about pie, no way am I doing it. You do your thang and I'll let you know when there's overlap.
MG, I loved her on Ally McBeal, too. Well, for as long as I could stand watching it. I bailed well before its overdue demise. Thirtysomething CD? Still love you? I couldn't love you more. Oh God, I think Gary has MEAT writ large all over him now.
Awww, Jen, it was giving me something to look forward to. What can I do to change your mind? As for the "hostile environment", dude, it's only Bodhi. When he gets cranky, all I have to do is start humming Put On Your Sunday Clothes and he's a kitten again. A kitten acting out a big production number from Hello, Dolly, yes, but everything comes with a price.
..."it's only Bodhi."
Dude .... only? Only! Maaaaate .. if I didn't, like, love ya as much and was not a world of ocean away, I would so, like, bitchslap you right now. *Sigh* But I can't stay mad at you. Not vous. Damn you and your internet blog hawtness and sweetness and et all.
Let him go for it Jen, I really don't mind all that much. Pie to your hearts content. Pie to ya die. What-ever.
::shuffles feet and pouts::
It's just, well, Brad-dammit all, I can't in all conscious do nothing, now can I? Hence my little protest.
::Picking up banner again::
"All we are sayyyyying, is give Twink a chance ..."
Well, you KNOW when I say only Bodhi I mean only in the sense that you'll growl and be gruff but it only takes humming a few bars from a showtune and you're all with the purring again. Only in that sense only. In every other sense, very. Muah!
Muah! back
::purring like a kitten::
Bodhi, I wouldn't dream of stopping him. I'm just not going to join him -- which should please you because I'd write far more graphically about eating the pie than he ever does. :)
I agree with freakgirl as cutesy as Portia is "...this pie ain't for me, anyway". May i have another piece of pie?? Try again i'll tell you when you get the flavour right...
and jen agree with all of your no's so we have indeed saved time. Maybe not picky but particular. Bodhi be a good boy and sit quietly for just a minute while we discuss this girl stuff ; )...
I'll add my voice to the NOT brigade when it comes to Portia. Bony. Skinny. Sorta sick looking. Love her as Lindsay though - but eat a sandwich!
I was trying to guess at what the lesbians hanker.....still love PdR....but I's not guessin' anymore, Porgy, I'm stickin' to what I love, namely: someone stylish, confident, groomed, coiffed, dressed and probably with a fabulous rack. The lesbians, they do have their way. Who can guess?
They're a mystery. Strange and fantastical.
Fantastical. I've been watching SFU obsessively the last few days and posting (I'm not sure why) on the old TMFT threads about each episode. I used "fantastical" a few hours before you did. Coincidence, yes, but it makes me heart you more, dear boy.
Strange and fantastical?! *rolls eyes*
Sean Cody, I know, right?
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