Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The resolution (in your eyes) of all the fruitless searches

So a few days ago the consensus here at Pipedreams was that there is no such animal as too gay. Still, I wonder. I guess it wasn't a definitive determination. It reminds me of a classic Karen Walker line from Will and Grace where she goes on about Jack not being able to play straight in a tv commercial.

"Oh, honey, no one in the world would believe you're straight. You're as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night. You fell out of the gay tree......hitting every gay branch on the way down......and you landed on a gay guy......... and you did him. No, no, honey, your gayness can be seen from space."

So I thought, in the interest of further research into this topic, that we might offer up a characteristic or activity and then as a group determine if it is indeed too gay. OK, that's not really how this shit came to me. Actually, I laughed at myself this morning when I did this really queer thing. I was using up the last of this eye cream and I was happy, no question, because it does indeed seem to be softening fine lines and wrinkles. That's not it, though. I was doubly giddy because the tube was FINALLY done and now I would get to use the new stuff I've been dying to try. Too gay?

ADDED: OK, I should have known that the awesome power of the interweb would provide A TEST to see if one is too gay. Thanks to Bodhi, who mentions it in the comments (via yaniboy). It's open to the gays and straights alike so check it out and see just how big a flamer you are!
P.S. Yours truly? Just 46% gay. Geesh, what can I do to bring that score up?
Finally, there is also a test over there to see which way Fido or Mittens swings.

28 comments:

freakgirl said...

Kind of gay.

More girly, though. I have been known to throw things out before they're empty because there is a shinier new package waiting next on the shelf.

Jen said...

All the gender theory I've done has completely ruined me for these kinds of games because all I can think is: you're conflating gender performance with sexual orientation and confusing me, but more importantly, do share the name of the miraculous wrinkle-softening eye cream please.

(Oh, and I heart Karen Walker a/k/a Anastasia Beaverhausen so much. Megan Mullally is both a gifted performer as well as a smokin' hottie.)

Michael said...

Oh, I'm so glad you just called me girly. It's been a while and a guy can never hear that too much.

Michael said...

The eye cream is made for men! It's in manly packaging. Grey and whatnot. OK, what is happening to me? Why am I acting all defensive like this? Have I mentioned how hairy I am? And pectacular! I should just stick to talking about my nuts.

Michael said...

I guess I love new cosmetics, too, Maggie. ::sigh::

Bodhi said...

Well, The Kid is always accusing me of having the Gayest ringtone on the planet on my mobile (cellphone). Now I can let the rest of you decide...

My main ringtone is I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, and my back-up lesser used ringtone is Dancing Queen by Abba. I course moi also quite enjoys singing along every time the phone rings. Sometimes I even miss the call and it goes to Messagebank because I was sooo enjoying listening and/or singing along to the tone.

Does that qualify me as too gay?

Ohhh, and speaking of which, I encourage everyone to go over and visit Yaniboys blog at http://yaniblog.blogspot.com/

There is a recent post there with a link for a test to see "How Gay am I". Such fun, do try it! My results and subseqent reply to Yani appear on the post.

Now if you excuse me, I need to turn around the other way because I think thats my best side for the satellite ...

Bodhi said...

OK, well now that Mikey has kindly added the link above, I will now post my Test Score and comments to Yaniboy here:

"Bodhi is 83% Gay
You frivolous camp queen! Your way too gay for this day and age, but someday the world will catch up."

Gee, thanks sooooooo much for putting me onto this quiz Yaniboy. But after this rather harsh judgement, might I just add that I have never been, nor am I in any way .... frivolous [said with suitable finger waggle, followed by a head toss]

Bodhi said...

ooooooh, Penis Inventory ... I hereby offer myself to take that audit!

Bodhi said...

[Why do I suddenly get a sinking feeling that I'm digging myself into a deeper and deeper gay hole here? "And over on the left hand side of the plane, ladies and gentleman, coming into view now is the Gay Grand Canyon"]

[If any of you Bitches make camp snide remarks to any of those last two statements, I will bitch slap you back to last week]

Michael said...

That sinking feeling is much like what most of your dates must feel.

That kind of snide remark?

Bodhi said...

Well, I suppose at least thats somewhat kinder (and less crass) than the taglines that were running through my head.

But I can't bring myself to BitchSlap you Mikey. So I will just pretend to glare at you, and pout for a while. OK with you Sweetie?

[Still waiting on Mobile Ringtone Deliberation ... Helloooo people!

The Other Andrew said...

If you doubt that I can out-gay you all, for living I used to be a Cosmetics & Fragrance buyer for a chain of retail stores. Wanna talk creams, lotions and potions?... you're singing my song!

I heart skincare products, one of the reasons I am suspiciously wrinkle free for my age.

Michael, if you wanna find out ways to raise that gay % call me, I'm listed. Got a few ideas for ya.

Bodhi said...

Gandrew The Pink, a Cosmetics and Fragrance buyer. Soooo, who's more camp than a Boy Scout Jamboree then? [wink]

*Smooooches*

The Other Andrew said...

Just remember my blog was originally going to be called 'Chiffon Tents', as in "camp as a row of Chiffon Tents'.

Despite all that, I'm hella manly though dontcha think?

Michael said...

Well, I edited out the part about your dates needing a rope ladder and a trail of bread crumbs, B. Also, I LOVE it when you pretend to chasten me.
Finally, your phone couldn't be any more gay if the ringtone was Rip Taylor jumping out of it and throwing confetti in your face.

Michael said...

We are hella manly. What's hotter than a man who can embrace the yin while firmly holding his yang?

Michael said...

I'm LOVING Chiffon Tents.

Bodhi said...

Oh yeah, Andrew. Hella manly [supressing fit of girlish giggles]

Fab, Mikey, but damn, The Kid is right ... again. Oh, and to complete the phone gayness I flip between a picture of His Brad-leyness (Mr Pitt) and Rabbit as my Background screensaver.

Michael said...

The Rabbit is on your phone! Pix message me, bitch!
I'm HATING being denied this morsel. Kinda loving it, too.

The Other Andrew said...

Bodhi, ...and the horse you rode in on bitch. *smooches*

Michael, I love holding my yang! I agree, what's yang without a bit of yin for contrast? (PS. Love the Rip Taylor line.)

Re: Rabbit. To quote the great philosopher Columbia "Ha, I've seen it!"

Bodhi said...

Mikey, both The Kid and moi have camera's on our mobiles, so there is a veritable treasure trove of Rabbity goodness saved there. The Kid has had a picture of Da Bunny as screensaver on her phone for ages.

Oh, and did I mention that I will be visiting my sister in sunny sub-tropical Brisbane for 2 weeks holiday from this coming Monday? (26 Sept). Both The Kid and Rabbit are going with me.

Two words bitch: Rabbit, Boardshorts

NarNarNarNarNarrrrrrNar

Will said...

I have a whole shitload of half-used cosmetics buried somewhere in my dresser. I'm too gay to wait until I finish my current range before moving on to a newer one.

Michael said...

Doesn't that shitload just torture you? I have much to learn from you,wingedman.

Anonymous said...

Michael, I'm breathing down your neck with 43%. And I'm fine with that.

Michael said...

As I am. Warm and minty. Feels nice.

freakgirl said...

Freakgirl is 40% gay! I am a straight-laced girlie girl with just a hint of my butch side sometimes popping out.

So says the test, but I don't consider myself to be straight-laced OR a girlie-girl.

Michael said...

I would! Mine just said something like "you are a happy and well-adjusted homo guy". That's OK, I guess.

Bodhi said...

46%! 53%! 40%! 56%!

At 83%, I'm beginning to feel a little like the character Daffyd from the BBC hit show Little Britian:

"I'm the only gay in the village. No, you are not a gay. I am the gay. You're probably just a little bit poofy!"