The bean curd was excellent and the fortune was flattering.
Your heart is pure and your mind is clear.
If only.
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Me, in a nutsack. I mean shell.
- Michael
- Ohio, United States
- I'm a simple guy. I like y'all, but don't tell me you're a "people person", OK? Also, if you tell me you are "straight-acting", I'll still be polite (Grandma Betsy lives on in me), but we'll be through. I read. I can love you if you don't read much, but if you read really bad shit, then I may not be able to love you. I'm liberal. Way. Who doesn't enjoy a nice trip (or a nice piece of fish)? I've traveled some, and I'll arrange my life so that I always can. Old people, babies (in their case, I think it's because my head/body ratio is similar), and your mother dig me (probably more than you do), and I'm OK with that. Know that if I am into you, I'll be amenable to just about anything. He'll be a lucky man who I aim to please. I'm aiming just thinking about you.
Animike
13 comments:
Amazing that no Chinese outside of the U.S. has ever heard of the fortune cookie tradition.
Yeah, that and most of the food is totally different as well. One of my best friends grew up in Taiwan and she keeps promising me that we'll go there and to a few spots in China. She always says the food you can get from street vendors in Taiwan is better than anything you'll get in Chinese restaurants in the U.S. Also, she has the most adorable pouty face when dancing that you just have to see.
You know the thing about putting "in the bed" at the end of your fortune, right?
I've never heard of that Sara! Sounds funny.
I can't believe you've never heard of that. Did you grow up in a cave? :)
Dude, RURAL OHIO.
freakgirl: Of course I know what it is. The tv shows nothing but american shows, it's amazing half the world doesn't grow up with an american accent.
I actually got to eat some chinese food while I was at san francisco, and it's really not too bad, just that the portions are GINORMOUS, and it's a little bit more fusion but otherwise authentic. I've personally eaten street hawker food in Taipei myself and let me tell you it's not all that either *sniffs* unless you love curdled pig's blood and jellied intestines and fun stuff like that.
That's probably why my "Precious Little Flower with the Glistening Dewdrop" loves it. She gobbles that kinda shit up. In Chinatown (NY) once, she and her sister almost came to blows over who got to eat the fish's eyes.
One of the many sophomoric yet still amusing American cultural traditions we have is to take the fortune out of the cookie and whatever it says, append the text "in bed" to the end of it. Thus one will receive fortunes such as "Beautiful things await you -- in bed" and "Your hard work will be rewarded -- in bed". Which clearly greatly improve the quality of said fortunes.
I think it might also be fun to use "on all fours" as the appendage.
I heart fortune cookies, but every time I read one it seems to say the same damn thing everytime:
This paper is protected by a platic coating
Do you think they are trying to tell me something?
This paper is protected by a plastic coating - on all fours
Does it seem wrong that it actually sounds pseudo-kinky?
Does it seem wrong to ME? Dude, have you read my blog? It's all DIRTY, my brotha...on all 4's. Unnh.
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