Remember how I bought my friend that amber necklace for her birthday? It begs for an accompanying haiku. Can I get your feedback on it? This recalls one of my favorite memories of her. We were skiing one bluebird day (cloudless, azure sky). The air was crisp. The powder was deep. She was just beaming in her braids.
like captured sunshine
with your beauty, warmth and light
amber, in pigtails
Is it OK, or should I keep polishing?
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7 comments:
I like it Boston Rob-style:
Ambuh! In pigtails...
Truthfully, sweet. Very sweet.
I would cry if someone wrote that for me.
It's lovely.
No one's written me poetry since Danny Beacham in the 9th grade, so personally I'd be stoked to even get something that started, "There once was a girl from Nantucket..."
You and me both, flesh. I'll haiku you sometime, but when you least expect it. The accompanying gift may be slightly different though.
Ah, where art thou, Boston Rob? It's been weeks since you've graced my cathode ray tube.
I'm guessing that's a good thing, freakgirl? I hope she likes it.
Thanks, jen. I've never gotten a single verse so you're one up on me. Should we hold each other close right now?
Haven't we been spooning since last night?
It's lovely. Succinct and beautifully worded.
Exactly, jen, but now we need some face time, don't we?
Thanks, wingedman. She's very special to me.
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